Why are moms so prone to guilt? In the last week I've had a couple of long conversations with mothers who were feeling tremendous amounts of guilt. Interestingly enough, both of them had to do with breastfeeding (not surprising, actually, since I'm a lactation consultant.)
One mother needed to talk to me because she was struggling with her decision about when to wean. She's a terrific mom...really sort of a superwoman, like so many moms I see every day. She is mothering a precious baby, working at a demanding job, and taking care of home and hearth. She struggles with feeling guilty about the time she takes at work to pump, even though her job performance continues to be excellent. Her husband feels like pumping might be draining her and has suggested she wean. She doesn't really want to wean quite yet, but feels bad about not taking hubby's advice after she asked him for it. What a conundrum.
As an IBCLC, my job is to support and encourage breastfeeding mothers, but each mother has to make her own decision about how long she's going to nurse. So instead of trying to give her a bunch of options, though we did talk some about management, I focused on guilt. I asked her to make a point of telling herself each morning, "I don't do guilt!" I know she'll make the right decision for herself and her baby, but she doesn't need to feel guilty if that decision involves weaning before baby is a year old!
The second mother had lactation failure with her first baby. She has been pumping and trying very hard to develop a supply, but yesterday she brought her pump back. Depression has set in, and she feels terribly guilty for giving up. To make matters worse, she speaks very little English, and her doctor, who speaks no Spanish, insists she use a formula that doesn't seem to agree with her baby. She has begun taking antidepressants, but still feels overwhelmed by guilt. It doesn't help that her peers tell her the reason her baby is small is because she's not nursing.
I think it would be very wrong for me to add to her guilt at this point. Instead, my job is to encourage her because she has tried so hard. I told her that breastfeeding is NOT what makes her a good mother. I reminded her that she was the expert on her baby, not the doctor and encouraged her to talk with the doctor (via translator) again. I don't know how much good I did, but I told her the same thing I told Mom 1: Tell yourself daily, "I don't do guilt."
It's taken me 49 years to learn this myself. I've done guilt all my life. My dad and stepmom spent years trying to help me learn the "I don't do guilt" lesson. It finally sunk in (more or less). Life is just too short to waste it on guilt. Unless a mother is truly a monster (like the Alabama mom who set her house on fire with her child inside), there just isn't any need for her to feel guilty. We all learn as we go, and children are unbelievably forgiving (at least before they become teens).
So if you are letting others make you feel guilty about breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, about co-sleeping or not co-sleeping, about working outside the home or not going back to your job, STOP! Repeat after me: "I DON'T TO GUILT!"
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Congress Considers BF Promotion Act
On June 11, 2009, Representative Carolyn B. Maloney (NY) and Senator Jeff Merkley (OR) introduced the Breastfeeding Promotion Act in both houses of Congress. The purpose of this bill is to provide a unified national policy to keep mothers, their children, and their communities healthy. In the past, a similar bill has been presented to the House, but this is the first time the bill has been introduced in the Senate.
The United States Breastfeeding Committee has posted contact information so that interested parties can let their representatives and senators know they want to see this bill passed.
The Breastfeeding Promotion Act (H.R. 2819, S. 1244) includes five provisions:
1. Amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect breastfeeding women from being fired or discriminated against in the workplace.
2. Provides tax incentives for businesses that establish private lactation areas in the workplace, or provide breastfeeding equipment or consultation services to their employees.
3. Provides for a performance standard to ensure breast pumps are safe and effective.
4. Allows breastfeeding equipment and consultation services to be tax deductible for families (amends Internal Revenue Code definition of "medical care").
5. Protects the privacy of breastfeeding mothers by ensuring they have break time and a private place to pump (applies to employers with 50 or more employees, see text of legislation for details).
If you want to read the full text of the bill, you can do so here.
In light of President Obama's speech today calling for increased attention to prevention of disease, this is the perfect time for this bill to receive widespread attention. The well-documented health benefits of breastfeeding are a crucial component of a prevention-based medical model. Make sure your congressional delegates move to embrace this bill!
The United States Breastfeeding Committee has posted contact information so that interested parties can let their representatives and senators know they want to see this bill passed.
The Breastfeeding Promotion Act (H.R. 2819, S. 1244) includes five provisions:
1. Amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect breastfeeding women from being fired or discriminated against in the workplace.
2. Provides tax incentives for businesses that establish private lactation areas in the workplace, or provide breastfeeding equipment or consultation services to their employees.
3. Provides for a performance standard to ensure breast pumps are safe and effective.
4. Allows breastfeeding equipment and consultation services to be tax deductible for families (amends Internal Revenue Code definition of "medical care").
5. Protects the privacy of breastfeeding mothers by ensuring they have break time and a private place to pump (applies to employers with 50 or more employees, see text of legislation for details).
If you want to read the full text of the bill, you can do so here.
In light of President Obama's speech today calling for increased attention to prevention of disease, this is the perfect time for this bill to receive widespread attention. The well-documented health benefits of breastfeeding are a crucial component of a prevention-based medical model. Make sure your congressional delegates move to embrace this bill!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Time for Another Giveaway
It's time for another Conservative Granola Mommies blog giveaway! The magic number this time is 60! As of this writing we have 42 followers. When we hit 60 followers for our blog we are giving away....
Are you ready for this??
Do you really want to know what the giveaway is this time?
As you may recall, our last giveaway was Babylegs. That's not a bad giveaway. Everybody loves Babylegs. They make a great fashion statement and keep little knees from getting carpet burn when baby is learning to crawl. Plus they're just so darn cute!
But this giveaway is much more than a cute fashion statement! Because I want to do all I can to promote the wonderful moms on the Sling & Swaddle journey, we are giving away a Miracle Blanket!
As soon as we have 60 followers, we will draw the name of our winner and announce it here as well as on Twitter.
So get busy helping us round up some new followers! Let's see if we can give this blanket away in the next 2 weeks (before I head off to Alaska for a week!)
Are you ready for this??
Do you really want to know what the giveaway is this time?
As you may recall, our last giveaway was Babylegs. That's not a bad giveaway. Everybody loves Babylegs. They make a great fashion statement and keep little knees from getting carpet burn when baby is learning to crawl. Plus they're just so darn cute!
But this giveaway is much more than a cute fashion statement! Because I want to do all I can to promote the wonderful moms on the Sling & Swaddle journey, we are giving away a Miracle Blanket!
As soon as we have 60 followers, we will draw the name of our winner and announce it here as well as on Twitter.
So get busy helping us round up some new followers! Let's see if we can give this blanket away in the next 2 weeks (before I head off to Alaska for a week!)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Sling & Swaddle...It's Great for Mom and Baby!
The Sling & Swaddle Journey has begun! 30 moms have been chosen to Tweet about their use of the Miracle Blanket and the Hotsling. This is an amazing way for moms throughout the Twitterverse to learn about the benefits of baby-wearing and the amazing Miracle Blanket.
Why Swaddle?
Newborns are used to being in the womb where movement is somewhat restricted. Swaddling helps them settle and sleep better. When my children were little we used a baby blanket and wrapped it snugly around them to help them sleep. Of course, they managed to work their arms out and would often startle themselves awake. Several companies have produced swaddlers. Some have velcro, but none that I have evaluated comes anywhere near the Miracle Blanket.
A mother/baby nurse from Huntsville Hospital told me about it after her second baby was born. She said I just had to get them in my store. So I called the company to find out more. I thought they sounded a little expensive. Since baby blankets haven't been very good sellers for us, I decided to pass. The company representative called me back and made me an incredible offer if I would just try them. My first order of 12 blankets arrived and sold out within a few weeks. We've just made our third order, and have a hard time keeping up with the demand.
Unlike other swaddlers on the market, the Miracle Blanket has no velcro, snaps, zippers or anything else. It simply uses an ingenious design and baby's own weight to keep baby securely swaddled. Moms love it and so do babies. Any parent who is longing for a good night's sleep would do well to invest in a Miracle Blanket!
Why Sling?
As babywearing has grown in popularity during the last decade, so have the types of slings and carriers. At A Nurturing Moment we carry several pouch slings: the Hotsling, The Peanut Shell, and the Organic Dittany Baby sling. Pouch slings usually hold babies from birth to about 35 pounds. When you purchase a pouch sling, it is best to try it on with baby. Ideally you should look for a store with personnel trained to help you find the right fit and teach you how to wear your baby.
Another kind of popular infant carrier is the Mei Tai infant carrier. Many parents like the versatility of being able to wear baby on the front or back. The Moby wrap allows the same versatility. However, some parents prefer the convenience of a two shoulder sling that you don't have to tie like the Baby K'Tan.
Colicky babies often settle when they are worn or swaddled. One of the greatest advantages of wearing your baby is the easy nursing access. I always encourage mothers to practice nursing in their sling, preferably in front of a mirror, so that they'll be comfortable when they go out and baby gets hungry. I remember nursing babies in grocery stores, in airports, in restaurants, in church, at Little League games...everywhere I went, I had my sling and a my baby's favorite fast food!
If you aren't a Twitterer, this would be a great time to jump on board. Follow us and follow the terrific moms on the Sling & Swaddle Journey.
Why Swaddle?
Newborns are used to being in the womb where movement is somewhat restricted. Swaddling helps them settle and sleep better. When my children were little we used a baby blanket and wrapped it snugly around them to help them sleep. Of course, they managed to work their arms out and would often startle themselves awake. Several companies have produced swaddlers. Some have velcro, but none that I have evaluated comes anywhere near the Miracle Blanket.
A mother/baby nurse from Huntsville Hospital told me about it after her second baby was born. She said I just had to get them in my store. So I called the company to find out more. I thought they sounded a little expensive. Since baby blankets haven't been very good sellers for us, I decided to pass. The company representative called me back and made me an incredible offer if I would just try them. My first order of 12 blankets arrived and sold out within a few weeks. We've just made our third order, and have a hard time keeping up with the demand.
Unlike other swaddlers on the market, the Miracle Blanket has no velcro, snaps, zippers or anything else. It simply uses an ingenious design and baby's own weight to keep baby securely swaddled. Moms love it and so do babies. Any parent who is longing for a good night's sleep would do well to invest in a Miracle Blanket!
Why Sling?
As babywearing has grown in popularity during the last decade, so have the types of slings and carriers. At A Nurturing Moment we carry several pouch slings: the Hotsling, The Peanut Shell, and the Organic Dittany Baby sling. Pouch slings usually hold babies from birth to about 35 pounds. When you purchase a pouch sling, it is best to try it on with baby. Ideally you should look for a store with personnel trained to help you find the right fit and teach you how to wear your baby.
Another kind of popular infant carrier is the Mei Tai infant carrier. Many parents like the versatility of being able to wear baby on the front or back. The Moby wrap allows the same versatility. However, some parents prefer the convenience of a two shoulder sling that you don't have to tie like the Baby K'Tan.
Colicky babies often settle when they are worn or swaddled. One of the greatest advantages of wearing your baby is the easy nursing access. I always encourage mothers to practice nursing in their sling, preferably in front of a mirror, so that they'll be comfortable when they go out and baby gets hungry. I remember nursing babies in grocery stores, in airports, in restaurants, in church, at Little League games...everywhere I went, I had my sling and a my baby's favorite fast food!
If you aren't a Twitterer, this would be a great time to jump on board. Follow us and follow the terrific moms on the Sling & Swaddle Journey.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Parenting Teens Can Be a (wonderful) Challenge
I know most of my readers are still dealing with the issues of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and the amazing preschool years. I remember thinking how great it would be when my kids got older.We would have such great communication, and so much fun together!
Reality Check!
I do have pretty good communication with my adult daughter and also with my 18 year old son. But it wasn't always that way... When Daughter #1 was about 14, the going got really tough. It stayed tough for several years! She was the epitome of the rebellious preacher's kid! I cried when she graduated from her Christian high school mostly because I was so relieved that she hadn't gotten kicked out!
Son #1 has always been pretty compliant, although he does have a temper. During his high school years we often had to remind him to exercise "Godly self-control." He was wonderful to everybody else, but at home that temper could flare! Now that he's heading to college, though, I realize how much I'll miss him. He helps me out in so many ways. I'm sure I won't really know just how much of a help he is until August when he moves to Cullman!
Reality Check 2
Now Daughter #2 has hit the age where Daughter #1 became increasingly difficult. To make matters worse, Daughter #2 has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar syndrome. It is somewhat better now that she's on medication, but she still has highs and lows, and her mood can shift with no provocation at all. I know all teenage girls are hormonal and get moody, but being bi-polar makes it doubly challenging. When she is at a low point, I know she's hurting, but she lashes out at me with such vehemence that it breaks my heart.
I am slowly learning how to manage this awkward dance that we perform each day. When I need to address clothing, behavior or other issues with her, I wait until she's "up." And I have to do small doses. When we have to enforce consequences for behavior, we try to explain it when she's "up." But of course, the punishment (as she perceives it) sends her right back down. So I feel like I'm living on a roller coaster.
The good news is that she has a wonderful Christian psychiatrist, and next week we'll begin seeing a Christian counselor who will hopefully help us navigate this minefield. She once told me that someday we'd write a book together from both of our perspectives about what it's like being a bi-polar teen and being the mother of a bi-polar teen. We'll see.
I am so thankful that we established a strong bond in her early years. Sometimes I wonder how we'd survive if we didn't have that! It's that attachment that brings us back together when she's "up."
Son #2
Another thing I'm thankful for is the space between our kids. Daughter #1 survived the teen years and is helpful both to me and to her sister. Son #2 is just 10, so we don't have any teen stuff yet! Last night was particularly challenging, and Son #2 came downstairs to where I was sitting on the sofa. He saw my tears and just put his arms around me. I wonder if there is a magic potion that will keep him this sweet for the next 8 years??
Reality Check!
I do have pretty good communication with my adult daughter and also with my 18 year old son. But it wasn't always that way... When Daughter #1 was about 14, the going got really tough. It stayed tough for several years! She was the epitome of the rebellious preacher's kid! I cried when she graduated from her Christian high school mostly because I was so relieved that she hadn't gotten kicked out!
Son #1 has always been pretty compliant, although he does have a temper. During his high school years we often had to remind him to exercise "Godly self-control." He was wonderful to everybody else, but at home that temper could flare! Now that he's heading to college, though, I realize how much I'll miss him. He helps me out in so many ways. I'm sure I won't really know just how much of a help he is until August when he moves to Cullman!
Reality Check 2
Now Daughter #2 has hit the age where Daughter #1 became increasingly difficult. To make matters worse, Daughter #2 has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar syndrome. It is somewhat better now that she's on medication, but she still has highs and lows, and her mood can shift with no provocation at all. I know all teenage girls are hormonal and get moody, but being bi-polar makes it doubly challenging. When she is at a low point, I know she's hurting, but she lashes out at me with such vehemence that it breaks my heart.
I am slowly learning how to manage this awkward dance that we perform each day. When I need to address clothing, behavior or other issues with her, I wait until she's "up." And I have to do small doses. When we have to enforce consequences for behavior, we try to explain it when she's "up." But of course, the punishment (as she perceives it) sends her right back down. So I feel like I'm living on a roller coaster.
The good news is that she has a wonderful Christian psychiatrist, and next week we'll begin seeing a Christian counselor who will hopefully help us navigate this minefield. She once told me that someday we'd write a book together from both of our perspectives about what it's like being a bi-polar teen and being the mother of a bi-polar teen. We'll see.
I am so thankful that we established a strong bond in her early years. Sometimes I wonder how we'd survive if we didn't have that! It's that attachment that brings us back together when she's "up."
Son #2
Another thing I'm thankful for is the space between our kids. Daughter #1 survived the teen years and is helpful both to me and to her sister. Son #2 is just 10, so we don't have any teen stuff yet! Last night was particularly challenging, and Son #2 came downstairs to where I was sitting on the sofa. He saw my tears and just put his arms around me. I wonder if there is a magic potion that will keep him this sweet for the next 8 years??
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The spring rush has arrived!
I don't know about all of you, but my life has been hectic these past few weeks. Since the first of March, I have been out of town 6 times (a couple of those times were for five days), my husband has been on three business trips, my daughter has played through a season of soccer and has started on tee ball, my own softball season has started, my daughter's been going to school more than normal in preparation for the end of the year, the stormy weather has knocked a tree down into our garden and broken garden boxes and our greenhouse (and because it's been raining so much, we've had to try to fix it in spurts, so it's still not ready for us to garden!), we've celebrated five birthdays and an anniversary and Mother's day, and all the other stuff that comprises our normal lives.
And to top it all off, my allergies are bad enough that I've finally given in on taking allergy medicine, but the only medicine we have has made me feel exhausted constantly, and we haven't had the time to go to the store yet to get a different kind.
I'm tired.
But that is nothing new to any of you, I'm sure. I don't think mothers are not tired at any point in time for many years after their youngest are in diapers.
My kids are taking the rush tolerably well. My daughter, independent and out-spoken 4.5 year old that she is, has taken this all in stride and is just going about her merry way. The couple of trips I was gone for several days, she was a little whinier the day I got back, but otherwise she's been fine. I've been worried about my son who's 2.5 years old and still nursing, particularly with the travel and me being gone for so many days in a row. The first 5 day trip I took, he was fine when I came home, if a little clingier for a couple of days. The second 5 day trip I took, though, he didn't do as well at. His sleep patterns totally shifted, which was oh-so-much-fun. Luckily, by now we've gotten back to normal, and since we don't have any other long trips away planned until at least August, life will be normal for a while before I/we are gone again.
Of course, this isn't to say that life won't be hectic. Tomorrow we're all leaving for NC for a wedding my husband is in. We have another wedding next month. At some point we'll take a nice, relaxing (hah!) visit to the beach. We have another wedding in August, as well as a possible trans-Atlantic trip for me. I'm sure that we'll have pressure (not necessarily of the bad sort) to take the 14+ hour drive up to the in-laws since it'll have been a year in July since we've been up there. Whether or not we give in to the pressure is a different story.
But that's sort of the way we like it, I think. We do it every year - the hectic running around and never sitting down thing. It lasts from about March until December. I'm just glad that the kids go so easily with us. I think we're helped greatly with that because we co-slept with both of them, co-sleeping in hotel rooms is not something new to them, and extended nursing really helps my son. Despite the craziness of my travel schedule, he has come back to nursing every time I've gotten back from traveling. It might take him an hour, or even twelve, to ask to nurse again, but he has done so without fail. And while at one point, I couldn't wait to be done nursing, I find that it serves as a comfort and re-connection for both of us now when I come back after being gone for a few days. I definitely never thought that I would be a mother who nursed her child for several years, but it appears that I will be, given that my son turns 3 this summer.
Of course, it could be that he gets done this summer. All the travel may get him too busy, and we may just wake up one day and realize we haven't nursed in several days. He may potty train this summer, though I have no hopes for that. Who knows what other milestones he may reach this summer, or if he reaches any at all?
As always, I find myself looking forward to what the coming months will bring, and who we'll be when they're over.
And to top it all off, my allergies are bad enough that I've finally given in on taking allergy medicine, but the only medicine we have has made me feel exhausted constantly, and we haven't had the time to go to the store yet to get a different kind.
I'm tired.
But that is nothing new to any of you, I'm sure. I don't think mothers are not tired at any point in time for many years after their youngest are in diapers.
My kids are taking the rush tolerably well. My daughter, independent and out-spoken 4.5 year old that she is, has taken this all in stride and is just going about her merry way. The couple of trips I was gone for several days, she was a little whinier the day I got back, but otherwise she's been fine. I've been worried about my son who's 2.5 years old and still nursing, particularly with the travel and me being gone for so many days in a row. The first 5 day trip I took, he was fine when I came home, if a little clingier for a couple of days. The second 5 day trip I took, though, he didn't do as well at. His sleep patterns totally shifted, which was oh-so-much-fun. Luckily, by now we've gotten back to normal, and since we don't have any other long trips away planned until at least August, life will be normal for a while before I/we are gone again.
Of course, this isn't to say that life won't be hectic. Tomorrow we're all leaving for NC for a wedding my husband is in. We have another wedding next month. At some point we'll take a nice, relaxing (hah!) visit to the beach. We have another wedding in August, as well as a possible trans-Atlantic trip for me. I'm sure that we'll have pressure (not necessarily of the bad sort) to take the 14+ hour drive up to the in-laws since it'll have been a year in July since we've been up there. Whether or not we give in to the pressure is a different story.
But that's sort of the way we like it, I think. We do it every year - the hectic running around and never sitting down thing. It lasts from about March until December. I'm just glad that the kids go so easily with us. I think we're helped greatly with that because we co-slept with both of them, co-sleeping in hotel rooms is not something new to them, and extended nursing really helps my son. Despite the craziness of my travel schedule, he has come back to nursing every time I've gotten back from traveling. It might take him an hour, or even twelve, to ask to nurse again, but he has done so without fail. And while at one point, I couldn't wait to be done nursing, I find that it serves as a comfort and re-connection for both of us now when I come back after being gone for a few days. I definitely never thought that I would be a mother who nursed her child for several years, but it appears that I will be, given that my son turns 3 this summer.
Of course, it could be that he gets done this summer. All the travel may get him too busy, and we may just wake up one day and realize we haven't nursed in several days. He may potty train this summer, though I have no hopes for that. Who knows what other milestones he may reach this summer, or if he reaches any at all?
As always, I find myself looking forward to what the coming months will bring, and who we'll be when they're over.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Coping with Criticism about Breastfeeding
"Why don't you just give that baby a bottle?"
"When are you going to stop nursing....he's starting to walk now!"
Comments like these can be very hurtful to a mother who is trying to do what is best for her baby. Sometimes friends or relatives are simply uninformed about the many benefits of breastfeeding. Or perhaps they may not understand how important it is to a mother to nurse. The sad fact is that even some doctors are not very well informed about breastfeeding. While they learn the basic anatomy and physiology of breastfeeding in medical school, they are often not taught how to support and encourage nursing mothers. If they don't have personal experience with breastfeeding, they may not be very supportive at all. Mothers need to think through their responses before they encounter this situation. In her article "Coping with Criticism about Breastfeeding" in Valley Babies magazine (Vol 3, No 1), Suzanne Rickman offers some excellent pointers.
The Critical Health Care Professional
Any time a health care professional suggests she wean, a mother should get a second opinion. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life, with continued breastfeeding for a year or as long thereafter as both mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization (WHO) actually recommends that mothers breastfeed for at least two years. So if a doctor or other health care professional expresses disapproval of a breastfeeding relationship, a mother can calmly explain the AAP and WHO recommendations. If the disapproval becomes harassment, she may need to find a new health care professional.
The Critical Friend
Sometimes a mother may feel pressure from friends to stop breastfeeding. If a close friend didn't have a positive breastfeeding experience, she may unwittingly discourage the new mother. The fact is that breastfeeding really can be very challenging in the early days. So if a woman is surrounded by friends who don't support her decision to nurse her baby, she may very well decide to give up. That's why it is important for expectant mothers who want to breastfeed to ally themselves with a good support group prior to giving birth. Then those mothers who have been successfully breastfeeding will be able to provide the necessary encouragement.
The Critical Family Member
It can be especially hard when a new mother receives criticism rather than support from her own family. If her mother didn't nurse, she may not understand why it's so important. When the criticism comes from a mother-in-law, it can be just as difficult. In a situation like this, the new father is a key player. He needs to run interference for his wife and protect her from discouraging members. He might even provide those critical relatives with some helpful resources.
The Annoying Stranger
When a stranger makes a comment about her breastfeeding, a mother has several options. She can ignore it, respond to it with tact, or get upset. Certainly, it is better to avoid the latter! Here are a few options for a tactful response:
• Use friendly humor. If someone says "How long are you going to nurse that baby?" You might respond with, "Oh, at least for the next five minutes."
• Be gentle, not defensive. Perhaps the critic has never seen a nursing mother. Maybe breastfeeding is something new. Realize that this might be the perfect opportunity to educate her about breastfeeding.
• Give a factual response. Explain the AAP recommendations. Give the critic some food for thought.
"When are you going to stop nursing....he's starting to walk now!"
Comments like these can be very hurtful to a mother who is trying to do what is best for her baby. Sometimes friends or relatives are simply uninformed about the many benefits of breastfeeding. Or perhaps they may not understand how important it is to a mother to nurse. The sad fact is that even some doctors are not very well informed about breastfeeding. While they learn the basic anatomy and physiology of breastfeeding in medical school, they are often not taught how to support and encourage nursing mothers. If they don't have personal experience with breastfeeding, they may not be very supportive at all. Mothers need to think through their responses before they encounter this situation. In her article "Coping with Criticism about Breastfeeding" in Valley Babies magazine (Vol 3, No 1), Suzanne Rickman offers some excellent pointers.
The Critical Health Care Professional
Any time a health care professional suggests she wean, a mother should get a second opinion. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life, with continued breastfeeding for a year or as long thereafter as both mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization (WHO) actually recommends that mothers breastfeed for at least two years. So if a doctor or other health care professional expresses disapproval of a breastfeeding relationship, a mother can calmly explain the AAP and WHO recommendations. If the disapproval becomes harassment, she may need to find a new health care professional.
The Critical Friend
Sometimes a mother may feel pressure from friends to stop breastfeeding. If a close friend didn't have a positive breastfeeding experience, she may unwittingly discourage the new mother. The fact is that breastfeeding really can be very challenging in the early days. So if a woman is surrounded by friends who don't support her decision to nurse her baby, she may very well decide to give up. That's why it is important for expectant mothers who want to breastfeed to ally themselves with a good support group prior to giving birth. Then those mothers who have been successfully breastfeeding will be able to provide the necessary encouragement.
The Critical Family Member
It can be especially hard when a new mother receives criticism rather than support from her own family. If her mother didn't nurse, she may not understand why it's so important. When the criticism comes from a mother-in-law, it can be just as difficult. In a situation like this, the new father is a key player. He needs to run interference for his wife and protect her from discouraging members. He might even provide those critical relatives with some helpful resources.
The Annoying Stranger
When a stranger makes a comment about her breastfeeding, a mother has several options. She can ignore it, respond to it with tact, or get upset. Certainly, it is better to avoid the latter! Here are a few options for a tactful response:
• Use friendly humor. If someone says "How long are you going to nurse that baby?" You might respond with, "Oh, at least for the next five minutes."
• Be gentle, not defensive. Perhaps the critic has never seen a nursing mother. Maybe breastfeeding is something new. Realize that this might be the perfect opportunity to educate her about breastfeeding.
• Give a factual response. Explain the AAP recommendations. Give the critic some food for thought.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Human Milk in the NICU
In February of 2009 the National Association of Neonatal Nurses Board of Directors published a position statement entitled "The Use of Human Milk and Breastfeeding in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit."
Based on a body of research which clearly demonstrates the superiority of human milk for premature infants, this position statement clearly enunciates optimal guidelines which should all NICU nurses should follow.
Responsibility toward the Mother
It is critically important, according to this position statement, that mothers be provided a hospital-grade double breastpump and pump kit. They should be encouraged to pump every 3 hours for optimal milk production. Keeping a pumping log will help both mother and healthcare provider to make assessments and adjustments. Receiving the mother's colostrum helps prepare the immature intestine by coating it with Immunoglobulin A. Fat content is an important factor when looking at the milk a mother pumps for her preterm baby. The paper recommends the use of a crematocrit to determine the fat content in order to determine how much human milk fortifier might be necessary to provide the caloric value necessary for optimal growth and development.
Responsibility toward the Infant
Obviously the neonate is the nurse's primary patient. Studies show that even a preterm baby as young as 28-30 weeks can demonstrate rooting and areolar grasp and latching behavior. Skin to skin exposure has been shown to have a myriad of benefits. After pumping a mother can allow her baby to nuzzle and lick her empty breast. The authors of the position paper recommend the use of a nipple shield to help the premature infant suckle more effectively and obtain more milk in early feeds.
The publication of this position paper is an important step in validating what many NICU nurses already knew. As research-based evidence continues to mount about the amazing benefits of breastmilk for at-risk infants, hopefully we will see more and more breastfeeding support in NICU's everywhere!
Based on a body of research which clearly demonstrates the superiority of human milk for premature infants, this position statement clearly enunciates optimal guidelines which should all NICU nurses should follow.
Responsibility toward the Mother
It is critically important, according to this position statement, that mothers be provided a hospital-grade double breastpump and pump kit. They should be encouraged to pump every 3 hours for optimal milk production. Keeping a pumping log will help both mother and healthcare provider to make assessments and adjustments. Receiving the mother's colostrum helps prepare the immature intestine by coating it with Immunoglobulin A. Fat content is an important factor when looking at the milk a mother pumps for her preterm baby. The paper recommends the use of a crematocrit to determine the fat content in order to determine how much human milk fortifier might be necessary to provide the caloric value necessary for optimal growth and development.
Responsibility toward the Infant
Obviously the neonate is the nurse's primary patient. Studies show that even a preterm baby as young as 28-30 weeks can demonstrate rooting and areolar grasp and latching behavior. Skin to skin exposure has been shown to have a myriad of benefits. After pumping a mother can allow her baby to nuzzle and lick her empty breast. The authors of the position paper recommend the use of a nipple shield to help the premature infant suckle more effectively and obtain more milk in early feeds.
The publication of this position paper is an important step in validating what many NICU nurses already knew. As research-based evidence continues to mount about the amazing benefits of breastmilk for at-risk infants, hopefully we will see more and more breastfeeding support in NICU's everywhere!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Breastfeeding Claims Under Attack...Again
In an article published on abc.com on April 27, Lauren Cox asserts that claims about the benefits of breastfeeding are overblown. This comes about a month after that Atlantic article in which Hannah Rosen disputed the medical benefits of breastfeeding. I actually responded to the Atlantic article in a previous post.
This interesting timing of these 2 articles undermining the benefits of breastfeeding in such a short period of time makes me wonder what's up. I've thought of several possible reasons
1. Some mothers may feel pressured by the growing pro-lactation movement and are reacting to that perceived pressure in writing.
2. Maybe the artificial human milk industry has done a pretty decent job of convincing the general public that breastmilk and infant formula are about equal.
3. Or perhaps, as I wrote in my previous post, the studies that do indeed show conclusive benefits are titled and the abstracts are written in such a way that artificial milk isn't depicted as a causative factor in multiple negative infant outcomes.
Whatever the reason, it is more important than ever that breastfeeding advocates rely on solid scientific evidence for every claim we make. The American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement, Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, contains 216 references to studies, scholarly articles, and public policy documentation dealing with the superiority of breastmilk over artificial milk for infants. While it may not be feasible to read every study in detail, a cursory review of this literature demonstrates overwhelming, objective evidence gathered in reproducible study conditions that repeatedly prove the inferiority of milk substitutes.
It is true that some mothers are unable to breastfeed for one reason or another. And some mothers do struggle with supply issues. A lact-aid with supplement can help. Nevertheless, there is an International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes which strictly prohibits many of the kinds of marketing which the large infant formula companies do in this country. Until the United States government decides to enforce this code, we will continue to see the systematic undermining of breastfeeding in this country. No doubt about it, our work is cut out for us! But we have science and nature on our side, and that's a winning combination!
This interesting timing of these 2 articles undermining the benefits of breastfeeding in such a short period of time makes me wonder what's up. I've thought of several possible reasons
1. Some mothers may feel pressured by the growing pro-lactation movement and are reacting to that perceived pressure in writing.
2. Maybe the artificial human milk industry has done a pretty decent job of convincing the general public that breastmilk and infant formula are about equal.
3. Or perhaps, as I wrote in my previous post, the studies that do indeed show conclusive benefits are titled and the abstracts are written in such a way that artificial milk isn't depicted as a causative factor in multiple negative infant outcomes.
Whatever the reason, it is more important than ever that breastfeeding advocates rely on solid scientific evidence for every claim we make. The American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement, Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, contains 216 references to studies, scholarly articles, and public policy documentation dealing with the superiority of breastmilk over artificial milk for infants. While it may not be feasible to read every study in detail, a cursory review of this literature demonstrates overwhelming, objective evidence gathered in reproducible study conditions that repeatedly prove the inferiority of milk substitutes.
It is true that some mothers are unable to breastfeed for one reason or another. And some mothers do struggle with supply issues. A lact-aid with supplement can help. Nevertheless, there is an International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes which strictly prohibits many of the kinds of marketing which the large infant formula companies do in this country. Until the United States government decides to enforce this code, we will continue to see the systematic undermining of breastfeeding in this country. No doubt about it, our work is cut out for us! But we have science and nature on our side, and that's a winning combination!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Mom is Definitely Worth Celebrating!
Several years ago Corina Dubois, an incredible mom with an entrepreneurial spirit, launched what has since become a national movement, Celebrate Mama! This event which is usually held on the weekend before Mother's Day is all about MOM and making her feel special. The cornerstone is the Mama Marketplace where vendors have a wide variety of creative gifts for Mother's Day. Events in many locations have a raffle. They may also have a donation box for a local charity. Many locations also provide entertainment throughout the day.
Huntsville's Celebrate Mama!
In Huntsville, AL (the home of A Nurturing Moment and Conservative Granola Mommies) Valley Babies magazine will be hosting the 2nd annual Huntsville Celebrate Mama! this coming Saturday. We have over 30 vendors in our Mama Marketplace which will be in the Westin Hotel at Bridge Street Town Centre. Beginning at 11:00 we will have entertainment in the mall area. Local celebrity Lee Marshall, founder of Kids to Love will be with us in the morning. Later in the day we will have performances by groups from The Little Gym, Musicology, and Grace Lutheran School. Riviera fitness will get us pumped up and into shape! You can see the full schedule here.
Silent Auction to Benefit Choose Life
One of the key components of the Huntsville Celebrate Mama! is a silent auction to benefit Choose Life of North Alabama. Auction items include a night at the Marriott Shoals, Silpada Earrings, a Strasburg outfit, a home visit from a lactation consultant, gift baskets for moms, piano tuning and dozens of other great items! This year we are also beginning the Christian Schools for Life program. Grace Lutheran School is auctioning a full tuition scholarship, and Wall Highway Baptist Mother's Day Out is auctioning a partial tuition scholarship for next year.
If you live in North Alabama, I hope we'll get to see you Saturday. Stop by the Valley Babies table to say hi!
Huntsville's Celebrate Mama!
In Huntsville, AL (the home of A Nurturing Moment and Conservative Granola Mommies) Valley Babies magazine will be hosting the 2nd annual Huntsville Celebrate Mama! this coming Saturday. We have over 30 vendors in our Mama Marketplace which will be in the Westin Hotel at Bridge Street Town Centre. Beginning at 11:00 we will have entertainment in the mall area. Local celebrity Lee Marshall, founder of Kids to Love will be with us in the morning. Later in the day we will have performances by groups from The Little Gym, Musicology, and Grace Lutheran School. Riviera fitness will get us pumped up and into shape! You can see the full schedule here.
Silent Auction to Benefit Choose Life
One of the key components of the Huntsville Celebrate Mama! is a silent auction to benefit Choose Life of North Alabama. Auction items include a night at the Marriott Shoals, Silpada Earrings, a Strasburg outfit, a home visit from a lactation consultant, gift baskets for moms, piano tuning and dozens of other great items! This year we are also beginning the Christian Schools for Life program. Grace Lutheran School is auctioning a full tuition scholarship, and Wall Highway Baptist Mother's Day Out is auctioning a partial tuition scholarship for next year.
If you live in North Alabama, I hope we'll get to see you Saturday. Stop by the Valley Babies table to say hi!
Friday, April 24, 2009
One Mom's EC Story
We have a guest blogger today, Beth Partain. I hope you enjoy her story about elimination communication.
The first time that I heard about EC was from a pregnant friend who was considering trying it with her child. My response was completely negative, there was shock, disbelief, and I am pretty sure that I said “that will never work”. To my friend, I am very sorry that I was not more supportive; all I can say is that I am working on it.
I did not give EC another thought until I was pregnant several months later with my first child. I scoured the internet for all the information that I could find. Then I did what every good American woman does, I bought a book. After reading it and discussing it with my hubby we decided to give it a try. The concept seemed very easy and very relaxed. I tried to talk about it with my friends and family, but I experienced the same reactions that I gave to my friend. In fact, the almost outrage from others that I would try something other than the traditional disposables until three, led me not to talk about it with anyone until my child was six months old.
So now that my daughter is 18 months old and potty trained. I feel like I can finally talk about EC and share some of the ups and downs of our experience with others. So how did we do it? By trusting our instincts and doing what worked for us at the pace that worked for us.
Let me start at the beginning.
After our daughter was born I completely forgot about EC for the first three weeks or so because it was hard enough to figure out how to work in my shower. Then one morning while laying in bed with hubby and baby, she pooped while sitting up leaned against my legs. While she was pooping I said “go potty.” Not the traditional words used to cue a baby, but it worked for us. The next several mornings the same thing happened and any time that we knew she was pooping we would put her in a sitting position with her diaper on and cue her by saying “go potty.” Daddy note: As she went and even today, we reward her by clapping.
I would say about two or three weeks later she was having bad gas pains and was generally unhappy, so after rubbing her tummy and bicycling her legs and nothing really happening, we put her in a sitting position and cued her. It was the light bulb moment! She looked at us and just started trying to poop--and she did! The excitement level in our house that day was like going to Disney world. We would continue to cue her when we knew that she had to potty, but that is all that we did until she was about six months old.
When she was almost six months and sitting with assistance we started putting her on the little potty when we thought that she needed to poop. I have to say that the first time she pooped in her potty we were ready to rent a billboard and announce it to the world. I don't think that “excited” explains how we felt. We concentrated only on poops thinking that it would be easier for all involved. It seemed like that was all it took and within 2 weeks she was pooping on the potty 9 out of 10 times that she pooped. That is how we continued for the next 7-8 months. Daddy note: I often tell people that no matter what they think about EC, at least my little girl goes poo in the potty and I am not stuck changing a smelly diaper. Occasionally we would catch a pee but it was not something that we worried about. I had in my mind that we would really get serious when she started walking, and for her that happened between 14 and 15 months. After that, when we got serious about it, it was only 2 weeks before she was having almost no accidents. At about 15 months she was pretty much potty trained, and wearing her big girl panties.
As we stand today we have good and bad days. Like any toddler we do have accidents but not so many that I feel like I need to put her in diapers anymore. The exception is that she does still wear a diaper at night - more for my convenience - and she does wake up many mornings dry. We have been very pleased with the relaxed nature of this potty training method, and we do plan on using it on the next. There are a few tricks that we have learned in our journey that may make it easier the next time around.
I found that cloth diapers made it easier for both baby and me to tell when she was wet which helped tremendously. Also, when she has a cloth diaper on I am less lazy. I will get up and take her to the potty and not think, “Oh, she can just go in her diaper.”
I think that our daughter would have done great without diapers earlier if I had not been waiting on my self-imposed time table.
So now I do all the things that I scoffed at before, I am a baby wearing, cloth diapering, EC practicing, granola mommy. That's ok, it works for me.
The first time that I heard about EC was from a pregnant friend who was considering trying it with her child. My response was completely negative, there was shock, disbelief, and I am pretty sure that I said “that will never work”. To my friend, I am very sorry that I was not more supportive; all I can say is that I am working on it.
I did not give EC another thought until I was pregnant several months later with my first child. I scoured the internet for all the information that I could find. Then I did what every good American woman does, I bought a book. After reading it and discussing it with my hubby we decided to give it a try. The concept seemed very easy and very relaxed. I tried to talk about it with my friends and family, but I experienced the same reactions that I gave to my friend. In fact, the almost outrage from others that I would try something other than the traditional disposables until three, led me not to talk about it with anyone until my child was six months old.
So now that my daughter is 18 months old and potty trained. I feel like I can finally talk about EC and share some of the ups and downs of our experience with others. So how did we do it? By trusting our instincts and doing what worked for us at the pace that worked for us.
Let me start at the beginning.
After our daughter was born I completely forgot about EC for the first three weeks or so because it was hard enough to figure out how to work in my shower. Then one morning while laying in bed with hubby and baby, she pooped while sitting up leaned against my legs. While she was pooping I said “go potty.” Not the traditional words used to cue a baby, but it worked for us. The next several mornings the same thing happened and any time that we knew she was pooping we would put her in a sitting position with her diaper on and cue her by saying “go potty.” Daddy note: As she went and even today, we reward her by clapping.
I would say about two or three weeks later she was having bad gas pains and was generally unhappy, so after rubbing her tummy and bicycling her legs and nothing really happening, we put her in a sitting position and cued her. It was the light bulb moment! She looked at us and just started trying to poop--and she did! The excitement level in our house that day was like going to Disney world. We would continue to cue her when we knew that she had to potty, but that is all that we did until she was about six months old.
When she was almost six months and sitting with assistance we started putting her on the little potty when we thought that she needed to poop. I have to say that the first time she pooped in her potty we were ready to rent a billboard and announce it to the world. I don't think that “excited” explains how we felt. We concentrated only on poops thinking that it would be easier for all involved. It seemed like that was all it took and within 2 weeks she was pooping on the potty 9 out of 10 times that she pooped. That is how we continued for the next 7-8 months. Daddy note: I often tell people that no matter what they think about EC, at least my little girl goes poo in the potty and I am not stuck changing a smelly diaper. Occasionally we would catch a pee but it was not something that we worried about. I had in my mind that we would really get serious when she started walking, and for her that happened between 14 and 15 months. After that, when we got serious about it, it was only 2 weeks before she was having almost no accidents. At about 15 months she was pretty much potty trained, and wearing her big girl panties.
As we stand today we have good and bad days. Like any toddler we do have accidents but not so many that I feel like I need to put her in diapers anymore. The exception is that she does still wear a diaper at night - more for my convenience - and she does wake up many mornings dry. We have been very pleased with the relaxed nature of this potty training method, and we do plan on using it on the next. There are a few tricks that we have learned in our journey that may make it easier the next time around.
I found that cloth diapers made it easier for both baby and me to tell when she was wet which helped tremendously. Also, when she has a cloth diaper on I am less lazy. I will get up and take her to the potty and not think, “Oh, she can just go in her diaper.”
I think that our daughter would have done great without diapers earlier if I had not been waiting on my self-imposed time table.
So now I do all the things that I scoffed at before, I am a baby wearing, cloth diapering, EC practicing, granola mommy. That's ok, it works for me.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Baseball Boy Snuggles
Okay, I admit it, I'm fast approaching 50, and my nest is slowly but surely emptying. But we still have one who hasn't entered the foreign territory of Teendom quite yet. At 10 years of age, Child 4 is delightfully preoccupied with baseball, his fourth grade friends, Webelos, and Club Penguin. He can't wait for football sign-ups even though he will probably play as an "older, lighter" player in a younger category. That's simply a nice way of saying that he's just not a very big little guy! But there's a ton of heart tucked away in his little 65 pound frame! He idolizes his big brother who has always given 110% to every sport he's every played and seems to be following in those footsteps!
Nevertheless, when the weather gets bad, or he has a bad dream, or he just feels like a Mommy/Daddy fix, our 10 year old bundle of energy ends up snuggled right up next to us in our king-size bed. (Yes, we took Dr. Sears' advice that the best piece of baby furniture you can buy is a king-size bed! That was one of the smartest things we ever did!)
I've heard lots of moms wonder when they're going to get their kids out of their bed. I have to admit that there have been moments during the last 20 years when I longed to have my bed back to myself (with just my DH to snuggle)! And now we pretty much do have our wish. So that's what makes it so sweet when Child 4 comes in at 5:30 in the morning to get his snuggle fix.
If the truth be told, I think my DH will miss our baseball boy snuggles as much or more than I will when Child 4 decides he is too old for Mommy and Daddy snuggles. In fact, I've noticed that some nights when I work late and DH has gone to bed already, I go upstairs to find Child 4 snuggled right up to his Dad - and I suspect that was Dad's idea ("Why don't you just snuggle here with me a while, Buddy?") What a wonderful blessing to know he is growing up feeling secure and loved day and night. I'm so thankful that Dr. Sears taught us about the family bed. It has been a tremendous source of comfort, blessing and security for all four of our kids.
I guess once Child 4 decides he's too old...(I know that day isn't too far away) we'll have to hold out for Grandchild 1! Since we don't expect grandchildren in the foreseeable future, we'll have to hope and pray that Child 4 needs his baseball boy snuggles just a little longer!
Nevertheless, when the weather gets bad, or he has a bad dream, or he just feels like a Mommy/Daddy fix, our 10 year old bundle of energy ends up snuggled right up next to us in our king-size bed. (Yes, we took Dr. Sears' advice that the best piece of baby furniture you can buy is a king-size bed! That was one of the smartest things we ever did!)
I've heard lots of moms wonder when they're going to get their kids out of their bed. I have to admit that there have been moments during the last 20 years when I longed to have my bed back to myself (with just my DH to snuggle)! And now we pretty much do have our wish. So that's what makes it so sweet when Child 4 comes in at 5:30 in the morning to get his snuggle fix.
If the truth be told, I think my DH will miss our baseball boy snuggles as much or more than I will when Child 4 decides he is too old for Mommy and Daddy snuggles. In fact, I've noticed that some nights when I work late and DH has gone to bed already, I go upstairs to find Child 4 snuggled right up to his Dad - and I suspect that was Dad's idea ("Why don't you just snuggle here with me a while, Buddy?") What a wonderful blessing to know he is growing up feeling secure and loved day and night. I'm so thankful that Dr. Sears taught us about the family bed. It has been a tremendous source of comfort, blessing and security for all four of our kids.
I guess once Child 4 decides he's too old...(I know that day isn't too far away) we'll have to hold out for Grandchild 1! Since we don't expect grandchildren in the foreseeable future, we'll have to hope and pray that Child 4 needs his baseball boy snuggles just a little longer!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Why Would Anybody Use Cloth Diapers??
I must confess that there was a time - about 21 years ago - when I myself wondered this very thing. Then I gave birth to my first child and tried to make ends meet on my husband's salary as a youth pastor! Breastfeeding wasn't just a choice, it was a necessity because formula was way outside of our budget. We did buy disposable diapers, but felt like we were just throwing money away with every pack we purchased. By the time our second child was born I was a firm Attachment Parenting advocate. I began cloth diapering primarily to save money, but also because I had discovered the awful truth about disposable diapers and landfills!
The Disposable Diaper Dilemma
Did you know that it is against the law in most states to dispose of human waste in landfills? Concerns about bacteria and viruses entering the ground water supply have led to these laws. Yet every year 18 billion diapers end up in landfills! These diapers will sit there for the foreseeable future because their components are not biodegradable. Many people are concerned about the long-term effects of landfills. Of course, disposable diapers aren't the only non-biodegradable product entering landfills. But they certainly contribute to the problem.
The Cloth Diaper Solution
Today's cloth diapers are definitely NOT the diapers your mother used! So many cloth diapering options are available for moms today, and the clean up isn't nearly as bad as it was back when I was dunking diapers in the toilet to get rid of the solids before I dropped them into the diaper pail. You can choose from an all-in-one diaper that combines absorbancy with waterproof protection. Another option is a fitted diaper with a waterproof diaper liner over it. If you're thinking rubber pants, think again. Diaper covers today are attractive, lightweight and easy to use. The least expensive option is prefolded diapers with a diaper cover. The days of diaper pins are long gone. Savvy moms today use Snappis diaper fasteners, a practical fastener that uses grips to hook the diaper fabric and keep it securely in place.
When it comes to clean-up, the coolest option is the Bum Genius diaper sprayer which attaches to your toilet's plumbing. Another option is the bio-soft liner which allows you to simply flush your baby's bowel movements. Cloth diapers need to be washed in hot water with soap that is free from all additives. Occasionally they will need to be stripped, as well.
Getting Started
When I began cloth diapering, I just went to the store and bought inexpensive prefolds and diaper covers that didn't always keep the wet in. Later a friend introduced me to fitted diapers and gave me a cloth diaper baby shower before my third baby. But I didn't know much about caring for my diapers. Moms today have so much information available at their fingertips. Diaperpin.com is a terrific resource for parents who are beginning to explore cloth diapering options. Many moms really enjoy the community of cloth diapering moms that they meet at diaperswappers.com. A final resource that offers a wealth of information about cloth diapering is Diaperjungle.com. Just one quick word of warning... cloth diapering can be addictive! With so many cute patterns and great diapers to choose from, once you start, you just might not be able to stop!
The Disposable Diaper Dilemma
Did you know that it is against the law in most states to dispose of human waste in landfills? Concerns about bacteria and viruses entering the ground water supply have led to these laws. Yet every year 18 billion diapers end up in landfills! These diapers will sit there for the foreseeable future because their components are not biodegradable. Many people are concerned about the long-term effects of landfills. Of course, disposable diapers aren't the only non-biodegradable product entering landfills. But they certainly contribute to the problem.
The Cloth Diaper Solution
Today's cloth diapers are definitely NOT the diapers your mother used! So many cloth diapering options are available for moms today, and the clean up isn't nearly as bad as it was back when I was dunking diapers in the toilet to get rid of the solids before I dropped them into the diaper pail. You can choose from an all-in-one diaper that combines absorbancy with waterproof protection. Another option is a fitted diaper with a waterproof diaper liner over it. If you're thinking rubber pants, think again. Diaper covers today are attractive, lightweight and easy to use. The least expensive option is prefolded diapers with a diaper cover. The days of diaper pins are long gone. Savvy moms today use Snappis diaper fasteners, a practical fastener that uses grips to hook the diaper fabric and keep it securely in place.
When it comes to clean-up, the coolest option is the Bum Genius diaper sprayer which attaches to your toilet's plumbing. Another option is the bio-soft liner which allows you to simply flush your baby's bowel movements. Cloth diapers need to be washed in hot water with soap that is free from all additives. Occasionally they will need to be stripped, as well.
Getting Started
When I began cloth diapering, I just went to the store and bought inexpensive prefolds and diaper covers that didn't always keep the wet in. Later a friend introduced me to fitted diapers and gave me a cloth diaper baby shower before my third baby. But I didn't know much about caring for my diapers. Moms today have so much information available at their fingertips. Diaperpin.com is a terrific resource for parents who are beginning to explore cloth diapering options. Many moms really enjoy the community of cloth diapering moms that they meet at diaperswappers.com. A final resource that offers a wealth of information about cloth diapering is Diaperjungle.com. Just one quick word of warning... cloth diapering can be addictive! With so many cute patterns and great diapers to choose from, once you start, you just might not be able to stop!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Daniel Is an Adult!
Today Daniel, my 2nd child, turned 18. In the state of Alabama that means that he can now be drafted, go to big boy jail, and go to the mall unescorted (here in Huntsville) on weekend nights. He still can't own property or enter into a contractual agreement of any kind. And he can't drink...which isn't really a big deal because he doesn't really want to (and plenty of kids his age are getting DUI's right and left).
I've thought a lot about Daniel today and have come to the conclusion that all I can really do is thank God for the way he has turned out. Every time I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said that he really didn't need anything. He's content with what he has. That's a lesson a lot of adults need to learn! He's getting a new laptop for graduation next month, so we're settling for clothes and shoes (despite his protests that he doesn't need anything) for his birthday presents.
Daniel was our first child to experience the benefits of Attachment Parenting from the time he was born. He nursed almost immediately after the midwife delivered him. He slept with us, we wore him, and he even got to homeschool on year when we were home on furlough! He's been in Christian schools most of his life and has been blessed with terrific friends. But honestly, we've seen the Lord's hand on Daniel since he was very little.
He was only 2 1/2 when he asked me if he could know for sure he was going to Heaven. That morning he prayed asking Jesus to be His Savior, then ran into wake up his big sister to tell her the big news! He was 10 when he committed his life to the Lord's service. He plans to study International Affairs so that he can support himself and serve the Lord abroad.
As we approach graduation, I realize that his story is only just beginning. I can't wait to see how the plot twists and turns. I know there will be amazing ups and downs. But through it all, I have the confidence that He has a secure faith in God that has been shaped throughout his life thanks to the Biblical principles of AP!
I've thought a lot about Daniel today and have come to the conclusion that all I can really do is thank God for the way he has turned out. Every time I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said that he really didn't need anything. He's content with what he has. That's a lesson a lot of adults need to learn! He's getting a new laptop for graduation next month, so we're settling for clothes and shoes (despite his protests that he doesn't need anything) for his birthday presents.
Daniel was our first child to experience the benefits of Attachment Parenting from the time he was born. He nursed almost immediately after the midwife delivered him. He slept with us, we wore him, and he even got to homeschool on year when we were home on furlough! He's been in Christian schools most of his life and has been blessed with terrific friends. But honestly, we've seen the Lord's hand on Daniel since he was very little.
He was only 2 1/2 when he asked me if he could know for sure he was going to Heaven. That morning he prayed asking Jesus to be His Savior, then ran into wake up his big sister to tell her the big news! He was 10 when he committed his life to the Lord's service. He plans to study International Affairs so that he can support himself and serve the Lord abroad.
As we approach graduation, I realize that his story is only just beginning. I can't wait to see how the plot twists and turns. I know there will be amazing ups and downs. But through it all, I have the confidence that He has a secure faith in God that has been shaped throughout his life thanks to the Biblical principles of AP!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
My 17 yr. Old Son's Story
Today's blog is a little different...I didn't write it, my son Daniel did. He often texts stories to a friend of his as she's going to sleep. Last night she needed to stay awake for a while, so she asked for a suspenseful story. As he began texting, he wasn't sure where the story would go. When he got home last night he told me the story and I asked him to share it here with you. I hope you enjoy it...and yes, this boy is definitely a product of AP!!!
A sage green truck sped down an old road to the country. The lights were off and the driver was being very quiet. He pulled up to a dark red barn and looked around before uncovering the truck bed. He pulled out seven boxes and buried the contraband in the straw.
The police caught up with him six miles down the road. The officer in charge said that if he told them where he hid the Bibles and gave up his Christian brothers he could live; the man smiled and replied, "For me to live is Christ; to die is gain." They pulled him out on the side of the road and beat him. He prayed to God and praised Him for allowing him to die the same day his Savior did. The officer walked over, shot him in the heart, then kicked him in the side.
The next day the police officer who killed the man opened up his file of paper work and on the the top of the stack was Romans 12. Every day after that a new piece of paper appeared on his desk; each paper was a sheet out of the Bible. This kept happening until one day he read that if we acknowledge Christ in front of men, He will acknowledge us in front of the Father. Knowing it would cost him his life, he preached to the whole police station. Forty-three days after the man with the Bible was killed, the Great Commission was once again being fulfilled following 13 years of suppression by a godless regime.
A sage green truck sped down an old road to the country. The lights were off and the driver was being very quiet. He pulled up to a dark red barn and looked around before uncovering the truck bed. He pulled out seven boxes and buried the contraband in the straw.
The police caught up with him six miles down the road. The officer in charge said that if he told them where he hid the Bibles and gave up his Christian brothers he could live; the man smiled and replied, "For me to live is Christ; to die is gain." They pulled him out on the side of the road and beat him. He prayed to God and praised Him for allowing him to die the same day his Savior did. The officer walked over, shot him in the heart, then kicked him in the side.
The next day the police officer who killed the man opened up his file of paper work and on the the top of the stack was Romans 12. Every day after that a new piece of paper appeared on his desk; each paper was a sheet out of the Bible. This kept happening until one day he read that if we acknowledge Christ in front of men, He will acknowledge us in front of the Father. Knowing it would cost him his life, he preached to the whole police station. Forty-three days after the man with the Bible was killed, the Great Commission was once again being fulfilled following 13 years of suppression by a godless regime.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Attachment Parenting, Trust and Good Friday
I've done a lot of reflecting today on what Good Friday means. First and foremost is the obvious significance of this day to all who embrace the Christian faith. We remember the suffering and sacrifice of our Savior as he experienced utter separation from God the Father while he hung on the cross.
However, as an attachment parenting advocate, my thoughts today wandered beyond the obvious Good Friday implications. I recalled the first book I ever read by Dr. William Sears, Christian Parenting and Childcare. One of the things that grabbed my attention 20 years ago was his assertion that parents who teach their children to trust by meeting their needs during infancy are laying the foundation for a lifelong trust in their Heavenly Father. My first child was 6 months old, and we had been following parenting advice that led us to leave her in her crib crying when it was bedtime. Don't get me wrong...she had nursed; I would sing to her and pray with her, but then I'd lay her down and the screaming would begin. I was so afraid of spoiling her or letting her manipulate me that I wouldn't pick her back up. So she would cry in the nursery, and on the other side of the wall, I would sob in my bedroom. It was awful! Dr. Sears' words gave me the freedom I needed to trust my instincts and soothe her to sleep. Before long we were co-sleeping, and the rest is history!
As subsequent babies arrived, we practiced the wonderful principles we had learned from Dr. Sears from the time they were born. We met needs and taught them to trust their ability to communicate with us. It is interesting to note that as our first child went through her teenage years, we had serious trust issues. Our second child will be 18 this week, and although he isn't perfect, he's never given us reason not to trust him. Now that our third child - another girl - is in her teens we are seeing the benefits of attachment parenting with her, too.
For a Christian parent, the greatest joy of all is seeing your children follow the Lord. I'm convinced that Dr. Sears is right on target when he says we're laying the foundation for a life of trust in God. My second child can't really remember a time when he didn't trust the Lord. His faith has grown and matured as he has grown, but He has always trusted. Child 3 is strong in her faith, too. It's important to her to please the Lord. Child 4 is only 10, but we see strong evidence of faith in him, too.
If I could change one thing about my parenting, I would give my precious firstborn daughter the same trust advantage that her siblings have. I do believe the verse that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." We have sought to give all our kids a strong foundation of faith, and I believe that ultimately all our kids will live their lives for the Lord. But daughter 1 missed out on those crucial first 6 months of trust-building, so it may just take a little longer! Nevertheless, the Resurrection which we will celebrate on Sunday fills my heart with hope!
However, as an attachment parenting advocate, my thoughts today wandered beyond the obvious Good Friday implications. I recalled the first book I ever read by Dr. William Sears, Christian Parenting and Childcare. One of the things that grabbed my attention 20 years ago was his assertion that parents who teach their children to trust by meeting their needs during infancy are laying the foundation for a lifelong trust in their Heavenly Father. My first child was 6 months old, and we had been following parenting advice that led us to leave her in her crib crying when it was bedtime. Don't get me wrong...she had nursed; I would sing to her and pray with her, but then I'd lay her down and the screaming would begin. I was so afraid of spoiling her or letting her manipulate me that I wouldn't pick her back up. So she would cry in the nursery, and on the other side of the wall, I would sob in my bedroom. It was awful! Dr. Sears' words gave me the freedom I needed to trust my instincts and soothe her to sleep. Before long we were co-sleeping, and the rest is history!
As subsequent babies arrived, we practiced the wonderful principles we had learned from Dr. Sears from the time they were born. We met needs and taught them to trust their ability to communicate with us. It is interesting to note that as our first child went through her teenage years, we had serious trust issues. Our second child will be 18 this week, and although he isn't perfect, he's never given us reason not to trust him. Now that our third child - another girl - is in her teens we are seeing the benefits of attachment parenting with her, too.
For a Christian parent, the greatest joy of all is seeing your children follow the Lord. I'm convinced that Dr. Sears is right on target when he says we're laying the foundation for a life of trust in God. My second child can't really remember a time when he didn't trust the Lord. His faith has grown and matured as he has grown, but He has always trusted. Child 3 is strong in her faith, too. It's important to her to please the Lord. Child 4 is only 10, but we see strong evidence of faith in him, too.
If I could change one thing about my parenting, I would give my precious firstborn daughter the same trust advantage that her siblings have. I do believe the verse that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." We have sought to give all our kids a strong foundation of faith, and I believe that ultimately all our kids will live their lives for the Lord. But daughter 1 missed out on those crucial first 6 months of trust-building, so it may just take a little longer! Nevertheless, the Resurrection which we will celebrate on Sunday fills my heart with hope!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Mom to Mom Support
Why is it so important for new mothers to get support from other mothers? I'd love to hear your opinions on this question, but I'm going to offer several reasons why I think every new mom needs strong peer support.
It Helps the Learning Curve
No doubt about it, becoming a mother definitely entails a pretty significant learning curve. You can take a breastfeeding class, a parenting class, and even an infant health and safety class, but that's no substitute for the on-the-job experience you get once baby is actually here! Being around other mothers who have already been where you are helps in several ways. First, you learn by watching them. You learn what works and what doesn't work. Although every baby is different, you may pick up techniques that will work with your baby. Also, as you develop relationships with other mothers, you build a resource network of people you can go to for advice in various situations. Finally, as your own mothering skills grow, you begin to find that you are able to help other mothers. The sense of well-being you receive from helping someone else may even help you maintain a healthy sense of emotional well-being.
It May Help Alleviate PostPartum Depression
Many women experience a day or two of "Baby Blues," but some women actually enter into a full-blown postpartum depression or PPD. The combination of hormonal changes with new stresses in her life may predispose some women to depression. Participation in a Mom to Mom Support Group may not completely prevent PPD; however, it may help to alleviate some of the symptoms and lead to a quicker recovery. Isolation only makes depression worse; so mothers who interact with other new moms generally have an easier time recovering.
It Helps You Meet Other Women Who Share your Life Circumstances
Finding a Mom to Mom Support group helps you build friendships with other women who are at the very same place in life where you are. If you have a baby before your friends do, you may find that you just don't have as much in common with them after the birth. You might even realize that you long for the company of other women who are also experiencing motherhood. In a Mom to Mom Group, you can meet a variety of women and figure out whom you want to get to know better.
Finding a Group
There are several ways to find a local support group. Depending upon your community, one or more of the following might work for you.
1. Ask other mothers. When you meet another mom, find out if she is part of a group. If you're outgoing, you might even approach other moms in the park or library to begin a conversation.
2. Look at your local community calendar. Do you have a TV news station? How about a local parenting magazine? Usually these media outlets have calendars which list events in the community.
3. Find a La Leche League group. La Leche League is the largest international breastfeeding support program. If you are nursing, you'll receive a wealth of information, encouragement and support from La Leche League. This website will help you locate a local group.
4. Find a MOPS group. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. This national organization has meetings for mothers of infants through pre-schoolers. You can click here to locate your nearest group.
5. Go to Meetup.com to see if there are any local meetup groups for moms in your area. Possible groups include Mommy Milk Meeup, New and Expectant Parents Meetup and Attachment Parenting Meetup. Most meetup groups have a message board moderated by the organizer where you can give and receive great advice.
If you find that you're having a tough time getting yourself motivated to get out the door with your baby, then that's a sure sign you REALLY need to do just that! So find a way to meet other moms, drop your baby into a sling, and off you go...remember, you're doing this for your own mental health! After all, doesn't your baby deserve the healthiest mom possible?
It Helps the Learning Curve
No doubt about it, becoming a mother definitely entails a pretty significant learning curve. You can take a breastfeeding class, a parenting class, and even an infant health and safety class, but that's no substitute for the on-the-job experience you get once baby is actually here! Being around other mothers who have already been where you are helps in several ways. First, you learn by watching them. You learn what works and what doesn't work. Although every baby is different, you may pick up techniques that will work with your baby. Also, as you develop relationships with other mothers, you build a resource network of people you can go to for advice in various situations. Finally, as your own mothering skills grow, you begin to find that you are able to help other mothers. The sense of well-being you receive from helping someone else may even help you maintain a healthy sense of emotional well-being.
It May Help Alleviate PostPartum Depression
Many women experience a day or two of "Baby Blues," but some women actually enter into a full-blown postpartum depression or PPD. The combination of hormonal changes with new stresses in her life may predispose some women to depression. Participation in a Mom to Mom Support Group may not completely prevent PPD; however, it may help to alleviate some of the symptoms and lead to a quicker recovery. Isolation only makes depression worse; so mothers who interact with other new moms generally have an easier time recovering.
It Helps You Meet Other Women Who Share your Life Circumstances
Finding a Mom to Mom Support group helps you build friendships with other women who are at the very same place in life where you are. If you have a baby before your friends do, you may find that you just don't have as much in common with them after the birth. You might even realize that you long for the company of other women who are also experiencing motherhood. In a Mom to Mom Group, you can meet a variety of women and figure out whom you want to get to know better.
Finding a Group
There are several ways to find a local support group. Depending upon your community, one or more of the following might work for you.
1. Ask other mothers. When you meet another mom, find out if she is part of a group. If you're outgoing, you might even approach other moms in the park or library to begin a conversation.
2. Look at your local community calendar. Do you have a TV news station? How about a local parenting magazine? Usually these media outlets have calendars which list events in the community.
3. Find a La Leche League group. La Leche League is the largest international breastfeeding support program. If you are nursing, you'll receive a wealth of information, encouragement and support from La Leche League. This website will help you locate a local group.
4. Find a MOPS group. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. This national organization has meetings for mothers of infants through pre-schoolers. You can click here to locate your nearest group.
5. Go to Meetup.com to see if there are any local meetup groups for moms in your area. Possible groups include Mommy Milk Meeup, New and Expectant Parents Meetup and Attachment Parenting Meetup. Most meetup groups have a message board moderated by the organizer where you can give and receive great advice.
If you find that you're having a tough time getting yourself motivated to get out the door with your baby, then that's a sure sign you REALLY need to do just that! So find a way to meet other moms, drop your baby into a sling, and off you go...remember, you're doing this for your own mental health! After all, doesn't your baby deserve the healthiest mom possible?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Let's Give Away Some Baby Legs!
I'm really enjoying blogging. I love to write. In fact, I'm working on getting my first book published: Breastfeeding: God's Amazing Design for Moms and Babies But that's another blog for another time!
We started the Conservative Granola Mommies Blog because that really seems to be our niche at A Nurturing Moment. We have a good assortment of slings and cloth diapers. We promote Attachment Parenting. Since I'm a lactation consultant, we obviously support, promote and encourage breastfeeding; in fact, we're always adding fun new accessories for breastfeeding moms. So we thought it would be fun to reach out into cyberspace and connect with other moms who are doing some of the same things. We're not fanatical or rabid; we just want to help all moms learn to trust the wonderful maternal instincts that God gave them!
Over the last couple of months, it's been exciting to see our webstore grow and to have new friends following our blog. So we decided to have a contest. Once we have 30 followers, we'll put everybody's name in a bowl and give away a pair of Bum Genius Baby Legs to one lucky winner.
Help us spread the word about Conservative Granola Mommies, and let's see if we can't give those Baby Legs away this weekend!
We started the Conservative Granola Mommies Blog because that really seems to be our niche at A Nurturing Moment. We have a good assortment of slings and cloth diapers. We promote Attachment Parenting. Since I'm a lactation consultant, we obviously support, promote and encourage breastfeeding; in fact, we're always adding fun new accessories for breastfeeding moms. So we thought it would be fun to reach out into cyberspace and connect with other moms who are doing some of the same things. We're not fanatical or rabid; we just want to help all moms learn to trust the wonderful maternal instincts that God gave them!
Over the last couple of months, it's been exciting to see our webstore grow and to have new friends following our blog. So we decided to have a contest. Once we have 30 followers, we'll put everybody's name in a bowl and give away a pair of Bum Genius Baby Legs to one lucky winner.
Help us spread the word about Conservative Granola Mommies, and let's see if we can't give those Baby Legs away this weekend!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
DHA in Infant Formula
A report released last year by the Cornucopia Institute, a Wisconsin based group devoted to fighting for the family-based farm, raises some very serious questions about the safety of the
What Is
What is
How Are These Acids Created in the Lab?
Martek Biosciences Corporation has patented a process to create both
DHASCO is created from algae grown in tightly controlled fermentation conditions in a solution of glucose and yeast. Then the oil is extracted using hexame, a toxic petroleum by-product that has been associated with disorders of the central nervous system. The hexane is then removed. What remains is only about 40-50%
ARASCO is extracted from soil fungus using a similar process. According the Martek documents hexane is used in the processing of ARASCO as well.
Do These Additives Improve Formula?
The makers of infant formulas like Lipil and Good Start are quick to say they do. In fact, they claim that formula is now more like breastmilk than ever before. Nevertheless, ongoing research fails to show a significant beneficial effect. In early documents marketing their DHASCO and ARASCO to the formula companies, they claimed that even if these additives didn't make a difference, they could be "widely incorporated into infant formulas, as a marketing tool...." (Quoted in International Baby Food Action Network (2004) Breaking the rules, stretching the rules 2004: evidence of violations of the international code of marketing of breastmilk substitutes and subsequent resolutions.” , edited by Yeong Joo Kean and Annelies Allain. Available online at http://www.ibfan.org/english/pdfs/btr04.pdf. Last accessed on
Do They Cause Any Harm?
According the the Cornucopia report, the FDA has received 98 reports of adverse effects in infants that have been attributed to the use of DHASCO and ARASCO fortified formulas. One of the most common complaints is intestinal problems characterized by diarrhea. Some babies have even suffered dehydration and been admitted to Neonatal Intensive Care Units as a result of their inability to tolerate this formula.
What Should the Consumer Do?
Ideally, every mother would breastfeed her baby. However, some mothers face real struggles with nursing or find themselves in a situation where they must use formula. It is wonderful to live in a country where safe infant formula is readliy available. Nevertheless, mothers must recognize that no formula will ever replicate all the qualities of breastmilk. A mother should talk with her pediatrician about any concerns she has. If she is using a DHASCO/ARASCO enhanced formula and notices any gastro-intestinal symptoms, she should immediately contact her doctor and change to a formula without these addititives.
Mothers must always remember that they are the first and most important advocate their children will ever have. When it comes to feeding time, a mother must be sure she is truly giving her baby the best possible nutrition. Perhaps the Cornucopia report will help mothers do just that!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Why I'm Homeschooling One Child
We've always believed that each child is unique and has his or her own special set of needs. Over the years we've experienced a wide variety of school settings. About 17 years ago when my first baby was a preschooler, we decided we would definitely homeschool. We joined a wonderful local group designed for parents with young children who were planning to homeschool. I was a former high school English teacher, so when Daughter 1 began kindergarten, I expected her to sit still and complete the wonderful learning tasks I had designed. Unfortunately, she was the child who liked to do flips around the living room as she practiced her spelling words. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't understand very much about teaching young children, and it was frustrating for both of us.
We homeschooled through second grade, then we headed to Costa Rica for language school prior to going to Peru as missionaries.In Costa Rica Daughter 1 entered a very small Christian school which was part of the large missionary language school there. Son 1 began kindergarten there, and Daughter 2 was in their outstanding preschool program.
Exactly one year later we arrived in Lima, Peru, where our kids entered an even smaller school for missionary kids. Daughter 1 and Son 1 were both there. Daughter 2 attended a local preschool part time to improve Spanish acquisition. Then she went to a Peruvian/American Christian school for kindergarten. When we came home for furlough, all 3 were homeschooled; although at times it seemed more like "van-schooling" as we traveled all over the southeast.
Upon our return to Lima, Daughters 1 & 2 and Son 1 all returned to the MK school located near our house. We had a very close-knit school family, and the classes all had 2 grade-levels. By the time Daughter 1 hit high school, we felt she needed something different, so much to the chagrin of our co-workers, we placed her in a British/Peruvian school for girls which was quite challenging academically.
That decision didn't go over too well with our mission team, so we ended up back in the states where all 4 of our children entered a Christian school, and I began teaching again. Several years ago Daughter 1 graduated, and Son 1 graduates in May. However, I realized that Daughter 2 was miserably unhappy there. Despite being involved in cheerleading and making good grades, she was caught in that awful phase that all middle schoolers face. She begged me for over a year to homeschool her, and after much prayer, I realized that was exactly what she needed. So at Christmas break, we made the change.
Her whole outlook on life has changed. We have a great math teacher who comes once a week and a local meteorologist who teaches her science. A couple of days a week she brings her books into work with me and "store-schools." After completing her assignments, she learns skills that most 14 year olds won't learn any time soon. She is great at receiving merchandise and has amazing business computer skills. She knows how to answer a business phone properly and is a fantastic cashier. She loves babysitting, so she gets a lot of job offers. Tonight at Son 1's soccer game, another parent asked her how she likes homeschooling; she replied with an effusive, "I love it!"
Recently I re-enrolled Son 2 for next year. He asked, "Mom, I don't have to homeschool, do I?" He loves his Christian school situation. He has wonderful friends and has never had any teacher who wasn't outstanding. At this point in his life, he needs to be right where he is.
I am so thankful that I have the freedom to educate each child the way he or she needs to be educated. The bottom line for me is that I am in control of their education. I know my boys are getting a solid education at their Christian school. Son 1 is part of a terrific class and has friends who encourage him spiritually. Athletics has been an important key to his character development, and I will always praise God for the wonderful coaches he has had at his school. On the other hand, Daughter 2 wasn't thriving in that environment. Now I see her thriving and making plans for high school that include taking dual enrollment classes by the time she's a junior.
If you're looking at the education decision, bear in mind that each child is an individual. Take it one year at a time, one child at a time. Most of all, find an option that you and your children enjoy. Learning really can be fun! If it isn't, then maybe you need to find a new education option.
We homeschooled through second grade, then we headed to Costa Rica for language school prior to going to Peru as missionaries.In Costa Rica Daughter 1 entered a very small Christian school which was part of the large missionary language school there. Son 1 began kindergarten there, and Daughter 2 was in their outstanding preschool program.
Exactly one year later we arrived in Lima, Peru, where our kids entered an even smaller school for missionary kids. Daughter 1 and Son 1 were both there. Daughter 2 attended a local preschool part time to improve Spanish acquisition. Then she went to a Peruvian/American Christian school for kindergarten. When we came home for furlough, all 3 were homeschooled; although at times it seemed more like "van-schooling" as we traveled all over the southeast.
Upon our return to Lima, Daughters 1 & 2 and Son 1 all returned to the MK school located near our house. We had a very close-knit school family, and the classes all had 2 grade-levels. By the time Daughter 1 hit high school, we felt she needed something different, so much to the chagrin of our co-workers, we placed her in a British/Peruvian school for girls which was quite challenging academically.
That decision didn't go over too well with our mission team, so we ended up back in the states where all 4 of our children entered a Christian school, and I began teaching again. Several years ago Daughter 1 graduated, and Son 1 graduates in May. However, I realized that Daughter 2 was miserably unhappy there. Despite being involved in cheerleading and making good grades, she was caught in that awful phase that all middle schoolers face. She begged me for over a year to homeschool her, and after much prayer, I realized that was exactly what she needed. So at Christmas break, we made the change.
Her whole outlook on life has changed. We have a great math teacher who comes once a week and a local meteorologist who teaches her science. A couple of days a week she brings her books into work with me and "store-schools." After completing her assignments, she learns skills that most 14 year olds won't learn any time soon. She is great at receiving merchandise and has amazing business computer skills. She knows how to answer a business phone properly and is a fantastic cashier. She loves babysitting, so she gets a lot of job offers. Tonight at Son 1's soccer game, another parent asked her how she likes homeschooling; she replied with an effusive, "I love it!"
Recently I re-enrolled Son 2 for next year. He asked, "Mom, I don't have to homeschool, do I?" He loves his Christian school situation. He has wonderful friends and has never had any teacher who wasn't outstanding. At this point in his life, he needs to be right where he is.
I am so thankful that I have the freedom to educate each child the way he or she needs to be educated. The bottom line for me is that I am in control of their education. I know my boys are getting a solid education at their Christian school. Son 1 is part of a terrific class and has friends who encourage him spiritually. Athletics has been an important key to his character development, and I will always praise God for the wonderful coaches he has had at his school. On the other hand, Daughter 2 wasn't thriving in that environment. Now I see her thriving and making plans for high school that include taking dual enrollment classes by the time she's a junior.
If you're looking at the education decision, bear in mind that each child is an individual. Take it one year at a time, one child at a time. Most of all, find an option that you and your children enjoy. Learning really can be fun! If it isn't, then maybe you need to find a new education option.
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