Conservative Granola Mommies

Breastfeeding Friendly Businesses

2010-12-06T14:25:00.002-06:00

Wow, I just realized it's been nearly a year since any of us have posted! I really want to apologize to everybody for that. Amanda got really busy with home-schooling, and I was combining home-schooling with 3 jobs - my store, my magazine and the census. For a while I was working 60-80 hours a week and juggling my ninth grader's schedule. My fifth grader was at a Christian school, and providentially, my husband was able to help a lot with the kids during that time.

I'm so thankful for the extra income that really helped during a time of need, but I found other things sliding a bit, and for that I do apologize.

I'm back in the store most of the time now. My daughter is, for the first time in her life, attending a public school, and I am thankful for the many blessings we've had this year.

One of those blessings on a professional level has been the recognition by Medela of A Nurturing Moment as a Medela Certified Nursing Center. We were very pleased to receive this recognition.

Now Bravado, my favorite maker of nursing bras, has come up with a wonderful site that lets moms know where they can find a breastfeeding-friendly business. This is particularly useful if you're traveling! Think how nice it would be if you're visiting relatives this Christmas and you're out and about in an unfamiliar area to pull out your phone, go to this site, and find a place where you can comfortably nurse your baby!

If you find a business that is particularly open to nursing mothers, you can add it to the site. And you can also leave comments about the businesses listed there. What a great way to reward businesses that are mother-baby friendly.

And so we move on

2010-01-20T21:00:00.002-06:00

After 3.5 years of nursing, my son weaned over the holidays. He's been slowly going that way for a while, only nursing once every couple of days for the past few months. Then at some point after the craziness of the holidays, I realized that it had been three weeks since he had nursed.

I had thought I would feel more muddled about things. I know so many women who were happy but sad and kinda confused about being happy and sad when they were finished nursing their last. But while I feel a slight bit of melancholy about it, on the whole I'm pretty good with it. It's been 6 years since the last time my body was my own, no baby inside or outside dependent upon it. I always enjoy going into the next stage of things, and I'm looking forward to seeing where we go now.

He's asked a couple of times since then, but it's half-hearted at best, and when I say no he's easily distracted. I didn't have the chance to really analyze things when I weaned Liz; it happened quickly with her because I was so tired and so pregnant, and I just couldn't anymore. But with Connor, I've been able to savor each step in the journey and to know that we made the journey together, rather than the needs or wants of one dominating the other. I'm happy with the way it ended.

Nestle Picture Upsets My Son!

2010-01-05T22:20:00.002-06:00

My oldest son just got home from an amazing conference in Atlanta, Passion 2010. He already felt called to mission work, but came home really pumped about all kinds of opportunities. It's exciting to see God at work in this young man who nursed until his third birthday, slept with us when he was little, spent many hours in a baby sling, and learned about trust from day one as we taught him to trust us.

He was five when our family went to Costa Rica, then Peru to serve as missionaries. During his formative years, he saw me working as a lactation consultant in developing countries. He also heard our dinner table conversation which occasionally consisted of diatribes against Nestle born of my frustration with the damage they were causing to mothers and babies in Andean countries (and around the world).

Fast forward to Passion 2010. The ministries involved did a great job of presenting the work they are doing in developing nations around the world. He was particularly impressed with the work of one organization who has a project designed to support prenatal health and postpartum care and instruction. He even told the representatives that his mom would LOVE to be involved in providing any breastfeeding information they might need! (Then he called me to make sure I was okay with that!)

However, as he looked at the many pictures of precious children suspended from the ceiling at their display, he saw one picture which caused an immediate strong reaction of anger! It was a picture of a smiling tyke holding a carton marked Nestle. His anger wasn't directed at the mission agency at all. He realized they were simply trying to portray the reality of what children experience. But he felt furious at Nestle for compromising the health of so many infants. He was even able to explain to his girlfriend just what it was that made him so angry about the picture.

As he told me this story, my mama heart swelled with pride because he really gets it! He understands that supporting and protecting people in developing countries means helping mothers trust their own ability to provide the very best nutrition for their babies.

Day After Christmas Musings

2009-12-26T15:01:00.006-06:00

Although most scholars agree that Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25, my mind still wanders back to Bethlehem this time each year. I wonder what Mary was thinking the day after Jesus' birth. I wonder if they were still housed in a crude stable, or had someone helped them find a more suitable place to stay? We know that shepherds came the night of the day he had been born. The Bible tells us that Mary treasured these things in her heart.

Today her amazing new baby is a day old. Her body is still feeling the effects of just having given birth. She probably didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Or perhaps she was so exhausted that she was able to sleep despite the rustic conditions. It would have been normal for a Jewish mother to keep her baby close to her during the night as she nursed him and kept his body temperature stabilized. By the light of the new day, is Mary marveling at all the things the shepherds said? Of course, she already knew exactly who Jesus was. She knew that she was still a virgin despite having given birth yesterday. She knew that the baby suckling sweetly at her breast was the Very Son of God.

Oh how I wish that I could interview this amazing young mother. I can only imagine the joy radiating from her face as she recounts the miraculous events of the last nine months. I would love to hear her talk about her reaction to the angel's announcement that she would give birth to the Messiah. It would be fascinating to hear her describe those difficult early days when she first told her beloved Joseph that she was with child and the amazing relief she must have felt when God protected her by sending an angel to Joseph as he slept.

Perhaps one day in Eternity there will be time for a birth junkie like me to share a few minutes with Mary. But for today, I will simply rest in the certainty that God, in His amazing providence, chose the perfect young woman to bring forth, nurture, protect, love and teach His only Son!

Dads Help Make Breastfeeding Work!

2009-11-22T20:43:00.004-06:00

I used to talk to the fathers in my breastfeeding classes about how important they were to helping their wives successfully breastfeed. I emphasized the father's role as encourager and support person for his wife. I suggested he bring her a drink when she was nursing, and offer to change the baby etc. All of those things are important. However, I recently met a very interesting Army midwife and lactation consultant who gave me a very different perspective!

Major Jarold (Tom) Johnson is much more than a healthcare provider in an army hospital. He is also the father of seven breastfed children. In the breastfeeding classes Major Johnson teaches, he helps fathers learn how to REALLY help their wives breastfeed. He teaches dads how to recognize a good latch and how to help both mother and baby nurse successfully.

So what exactly does Dad do?

Evaluate Latch
Dad is in the perfect position to really see how baby's latch looks. So it is important that he know what to look for. He should look for a wide-open mouth with the nipple and areola deep in baby's mouth. Baby's cheeks will look full, and baby's chin and nose will be touching the breast. His lips should be flanged around the areoala.

Evaluate Suck
Dad is also in a great position to help Mom evaluate baby's suck:swallow ratio. Once her milk lets down, baby should be swallowing with every suck or at least every other suck. Baby will have spurts of actively sucking and swallowing, then he may rest for a half minute or so before beginning another suck/swallow burst.

Evaluate Pain
Breastfeeding should NOT be painful. Pain is an indication that something isn't right. Usually the problem is the latch. If Mom is experiencing discomfort, Dad can slide his finger between the baby's chin and Mom's breast, pulling down on the chin while he pulls baby's head in tighter to the breast. Sometimes it may take two or three tries, but this technique should deepen the latch and eliminate any pain.

A father's role in breastfeeding success cannot be overestimated. The husband who is willing to focus on evaluating his baby at his wife's breast will reap multiple rewards: a grateful wife, a healthy thriving baby, and the knowledge that he played an integral role in the process.

Medications and Breastfeeding

2009-11-11T16:07:00.003-06:00

It makes me sad when a mom tells me, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but my doctor said I couldn't because of a medication I have to take." Sometimes, in very rare cases, the medication may truly be incompatible with breastfeeding. Certain drugs like Lithium, argatroban, any type of radioactive iodine, any chemotherapy agent and a handful of other drugs are definitely not safe for a nursing baby.

However, many medications that may be acceptable come with a manufacturer's label discouraging use by nursing women. Why is this? Perhaps it is an attempt by the drug manufacturers at CYA (just in case something were to happen....) Perhaps a drug may not be safe for use during pregnancy, so the assumption is made that it isn't safe during lactation either.

Whatever the case, many health care practitioners are quick to tell a mother that they can't continue breastfeeding while taking a certain medication, even if the evidence does not bear that out. Ideally, it really is best to limit the medication a breastfeeding mother takes to only what is truly necessary. But when a mother needs a particular medication to be healthy, she should certainly take it!

Dr. Thomas Hale, Ph.D. has devoted much of his career as a pharmacist to studying the effects of various medications on breastfed babies and on the breastmilk itself. He is a professor of Pediatrics at the Texas Tech University School of Medicine. Dr. Hale, who is widely recognized as the leading authority in this field, has authored a book called Medications and Mothers' Milk which is now in its thirteenth edition. Any health care provider who works with nursing mothers and babies should have a copy of this book to use as a reference.
Dr. Hale defines the following categories for lactation risk when considering a particular drug:

L1 - Safest - These drugs have been taken by many breastfeeding women with no adverse effects. Controlled studies fail to demonstrate a risk to a nursing infant, and the possibility of harm to the breastfeeding infant is remote, or the substance is not orally bioavailable to the infant.

L2 - Safer - These drugs have either been studied in a limited number of breastfeeding women without any increase in adverse effects in their infants or there is scant evidence of a demonstrated risk likely to result as a use of these medications.

L3 - Moderately Safe - There are no controlled studies in breastfeeding women; however, there is a possibility of a risk. Or controlled studies that do exist may show only minimal non-threatening adverse effects. These drugs should be used only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the infant.

L4 - Possibly Hazardous - Positive evidence exists showing a risk either to the breastfed infant or to the mother's milk production; however, the benefits from the use of the drug may be acceptable despite the risk to the infant (e.g., if the drug is needed in a life-threatening situation or for a serious disease for which a safer drug does not exist or is not effective.)

L5 - Contraindicated - Studies in breastfeeding mothers have demonstrated that there is significant and documented risk to the infant, or it is a medication that has a high risk of causing significant damage to the infant. The risk of using these drugs in nursing mothers absolutely outweighs any possible benefit from breastfeeding.

The next time you are faced with needing a medication, be sure to ask your doctor to check Dr. Hale's book. If he doesn't have it, find a lactation consultant who does, and do your research! There's no need to stop breastfeeding unless you absolutely have to!

Response to Dr. Rosemond

2009-11-08T20:15:00.005-06:00

I am an advocate of Attachment parenting, but I am also an advocate of parents using common sense and setting age-appropriate boundaries for their children. I believe the two actually go hand in hand.

The little that I had read of popular author and speaker John Rosemond in the past led me to appreciate his practical common sense approach to parenting. Recently I had lunch with my good friend Lysa Parker, one of the founders of Attachment Parenting International. Dr. Rosemond was planning a visit to Huntsville; therefore, he came up in our conversation. I told Lysa I appreciated his common sense approach (remember, I haven't read a LOT of his stuff...just a little and mostly dealing with older kids). Lysa explained that he is a strong opponent of all things AP. I was quite surprised.

I wasn't able to go hear him speak, though I would have liked to, but I did see an article in the Huntsville Times today that I found to be quite enlightening. Apparently in his address to about 250 people at Huntsville High School he said " 'psychobabble' about fostering a child's self-esteem and being ultra-involved in a child's life has had a disastrous effect on children's behavior." According to the article, he also said "his mother 'never paid much attention to me,' but she set clear ground rules for what she expected from him at an early age."

I read that line and felt sorry for him. Setting ground rules with clear expectations is wonderful. However, as a 61 year old adult his memory is that his mother never paid much attention to him. And now he is advising a generation of parents not to become too attached to or involved in their children's lives.

According to the Times article, "One of the biggest errors parents make, he said, is that they are in relationships with their children rather than being figures of leadership and authority. Because of those relationships, he said parents hunger for popularity and acceptance with their children, something which he said nullifies their ability to lead."

I agree that the roles of parent and friend cannot be one and the same when a child is growing up. However, I consider my grown children dear friends. My son and I talk every day about everything under the sun. I wonder if Rosemond counts his grown children among his closest friends? Attachment parenting does not mean that we seek to be "popular and accepted" by our children. It does mean that we create a relationship with them which fills them with a sense of security and well-being. The relationship begins at birth and continues throughout the child's life. It does not mean that a parent does nothing but cater to her child's every whim.

The problem is that authors like Rosemond equate Attachment Parenting with Permissive parenting or parenting without boundaries. They fail to understand the premises set forth by Dr. William Sears. As both a pediatrician and a father, he has years of experience working with patients, but also a proven track record of raising terrific kids who are making a real contribution to society.

Rosemond believes that his approach to parenting is a Biblically based method. Yet the picture I see of God in the Bible is one of a loving Father who tenderly cares for His own or a shepherd who cares deeply for each sheep. Specific imagery related to breastfeeding and attachment can be seen in Isaiah as God talks about His loving care for His people. I think it's time that Christians begin advocating for strong Biblically based Attachment Parenting. If we truly want to raise a generation of selfless, giving, confident young adults, then we must teach them the most basic lessons of trust from infancy on.

Should You Rent a Breastpump?

2009-10-28T22:17:00.003-05:00

Every week we have several moms come in to A Nurturing Moment to find out about renting a breastpump. Sometimes they want to make sure breastfeeding is going to work before they invest two or three hundred dollars in a good pump. Many times, though, they are trying to decide if they should rent or buy. That's a really good question, and the answer depends on several factors.

Timing of Baby's Birth
If your baby is a healthy, term baby, you should be able to exclusively breastfeed from the time he is born. As long as he is nursing well, you shouldn't need a pump to stimulate your milk supply. However, if your baby is 3 or more weeks early, he may have a very difficult time nursing. Even if he does latch on, he may not have the strength to help you establish an adequate milk supply. I tell mothers of premature babies that they really need to use a hospital-grade breastpump to establish their supply. The Medela Symphony pump actually has a preemie card, developed through extensive research, which helps the mothers of premature babies establish a more complete milk supply earlier than they would otehrwise. I think all mothers of preemies should have access to this technology!

How Nursing is Progressing
If everything is going well - no sore nipples, good milk supply, etc. - no pump is necessary in the early days. However, if a mother is experiencing cracked and bleeding nipples, then she should pump for at least 24 hours and finger feed the pumped milk using a curved tip syringe or a supplemental feeding tube. A hospital-grade pump is ideal for the mom in this situation. Even though she might have another pump, the hospital-grade pump will be more effective at helping establish and maintain a good supply.
Pumping should NEVER be painful. If it is uncomfortable, ask your lactation consultant to help you find breast shields that will fit you better.

Mom's Work Situation
First of all, I want to make a disclaimer here....I believe that ALL mothers are working mothers. The word mother implies lots and lots of hard work. Some mothers, however, have a second job outside of the home. Those mothers need to be able to pump their milk quickly and efficiently. Good pumps that a working mom can purchase include the Medela Pump in Style, Medela Freestyle, Ameda Purely Yours and Hygeia. Some mothers, though, prefer to rent a hospital-grade pump. You can rent a pump for about 4 months before it becomes more cost-effective to purchase a good quality double pump. The mom who struggles with decreased milk production when she returns to work may find that a hospital-grade rental pump will be more effective at helping her maintain her supply than a regular double pump.

What Is a Hospital-Grade Pump?
Many people really don't understand what makes a hospital-grade pump different. First of all, it is larger and has a more powerful motor. But the difference doesn't end there. Because it is a multi-user pump, a hospital-grade pump will always be a "closed" system. That means that it is engineered in such a way to make it impossible for milk to ever back up into the pump's motor. Therefore, it is totally hygienic and safe for multiple users. The two most popular hospital grade pumps are Ameda and Medela. You can use these links to find a rental station near you. Find out if the rental station allows short term rentals or pro-rates the price if you return the pump early. Some do, but many do not.

Ideally, you should rent your pump from a breastfeeding professional (IBCLC) if possible. That way you have someone who can give you solid research-based advice on your particular situation. Ultimately, your lactation consultant is the very best person to help you decide if YOU should rent a breastpump.

Breastfeeding and Obesity

2009-10-24T21:09:00.002-05:00

You may have read that breastfeeding helps prevent childhood (and by implication, adult) obesity. According to recent statistics 2/3 of US adults and 1/5 of US children are either overweight or obese. That's really appalling! Obesity is a contributing factor in a wide variety of serious health conditions ranging from blood pressure problems to diabetes to cancer.

Health experts agree that it is important to address this problem on both a national and a local level. In July the CDC released an important document, "Recommended Community Strategies and Measurements to Prevent Obesity in the United States." This document presents 24 strategies that local communities can implement in their effort to curb the rising tide of childhood obesity. The strategies deal with food choices, exercise, availability of safe public transportation, etc. One strategy, however, stands out to me as a lactation consultant.

Strategy 11 states: Communities Should Increase Support for Breastfeeding. The document urges all governmental employers to set aside a specific place where employees can pump and store their milk. It also shows the relationship between the percentage of breastmilk a baby receives and the likelihood of childhood obesity.

What a timely statement for the CDC to make. In this time of recession when many women truly can't afford NOT to breastfeed, they have yet another incentive to do just that! However, this message isn't making it to the women who most need to hear it. The challenge facing breastfeeding advocates is clear: we must find a way to work in cooperation with local, regional and state organizations to help all mothers understand the importance of breastfeeding. I'm excited about taking on this challenge in Huntsville! How about you? Will you rise to challenge in your community??

Attachment Parenting Meets the Gridiron

2009-10-09T23:28:00.003-05:00

I have two sons and a husband who are all sports fanatics. My 18 year old son played both football and soccer in high school. He isn't playing college sports this year, but may well be back on the soccer field next year! My 11 year old plays football, wrestles, and plays baseball. My husband played football and baseball in high school, too. So it should come as no surprise that Sports Illustrated is a staple in our household.

I picked up the Oct. 12 issue earlier this evening. An article about Florida Gator's quarterback Tim Tebow caught my eye. Though we aren't Gators fans, I think Tebow is one of the classiest young men I've ever seen. Not only is he an amazing athlete, but he also demonstrates true character. His faith has feet that take him to the Philippines to minister to children. His leadership both on the field and off it has made him a legend in his own time. In his "Point After" column, writer Chris Ballard discusses whether Tebow should play in this weekend's game against LSU.

The discussion centers on the safety of Tebow's getting back on the field after his concussion two weeks ago. As a mother of athletic kids, I felt myself responding to this column with a resounding "YES, IT'S ABOUT TIME!" reaction. We want our children to be safe and healthy. Our whole parenting style is built around helping them feel secure. Yet even at the Pop Warner level, it's so easy for both coaches and kids to want a player back in the game too soon. And pity the poor mother who says, "Um, I don't really think he's ready..."

I've been pretty lucky with my kids' coaches, but I do remember my son passing out with a concussion following a nasty hit his junior year. He was back in there way too soon, and stayed in until the coach realized that he just wasn't sharp and wasn't functioning normally. AP mom that I am, I had urged him not to play. But he was determined not to let his team down, and his coach believed him when he said he was good to go!. Fortunately, he didn't take another nasty hit, and was able to recover completely.

But the article I read tonight made me realize that I will be much more proactive with son #2. If my momma instincts tell me he's not ready to get back into a game, I'm gonna listen! Pity the poor coach who tries to cross me! Son #1 used to say I was just too protective. He thought he was invincible (common mindset for teens). I knew he wasn't, but I didn't make too big a fuss when I thought he was hurt. It will be very different with Son #2!

I'm realizing more and more how important the AP principles are to all of parenting, not just when they're little. And I'm all the more thankful that I was blessed enough to learn about this wonderful parenting philosophy!

Breastfeeding in the Work Place

2009-09-19T21:57:00.003-05:00

Last night on CNN Campbell Brown addressed the case of LaNisa Allen, the mother of a 4 month old who was fired by Totes/Isotoner because she was taking pumping breaks to provide breastmilk for her baby. While other employees could take smoke breaks or bathroom breaks, LaNisa lost her job for taking the same length break.

In her introduction, Brown talked about how lucky she is to have an employer who allows her to pump milk regularly for her baby. Not all women have that opportunity, however. Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-N.Y.)also appears on the segment talking about a bill she has sponsored, The Breastfeeding Promotion Act. Maloney's bill would provide protection for breastfeeding in the workplace under civil rights law. No woman could lose her job or be discriminated against in any other way for pumping during a break. Employers would have to provide break time to pump. They would also be required to try to find a private, secure place for nursing moms to express their milk. It would provide a tax credit for up to fifty percent of any expenses an employer incurs as a result.

We have a lot of working moms come into A Nurturing Moment. Many of them are professional women who have lactation rooms at their companies or who have private offices. Nevertheless, we still see many mothers like LaNisa who have to pump in a restroom, arguably the most germ-filled place in the whole company. No mother should have to pump in a bathroom! So we tell moms that we will work with their human resource director to help make pumping work for them.

Pumping Benefits Everybody
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has put together a comprehensive guide for employers called The Business Case of Breastfeeding. This material is available free of charge to companies. It details the many benefits to the company itself when it creates a lactation support program.
- Greater employee satisfaction
- Higher retention rates
- Reduced employee absenteeism
- Lower health-care costs for babies receiving breastmilk

We will help companies evaluate their situation to find the optimal lactation program that will work for them. We will even contract with them to provide on-site breastfeeding support and education for their employees and for spouses of employees.

LaNisa's little boy is now four. She took her case against Totes/Isotoner all the way to the Ohio Supreme Court where she lost. They said the case was about her taking unauthorized breaks. I wonder what the company would have done if she was smoking instead of pumping? My bet? She'd still have her job!

Insufficient Milk Supply

2009-09-14T22:14:00.004-05:00

I get a lot of calls from mothers with a wide variety of problems: sore nipples, poor latch, baby's weight gain etc. But one of the most frequent calls I get goes something like this:

Mom: "I'm not making enough milk for my baby."
Me: "What makes you think that?"
Mom: "He's hungry after he nurses, and still needs another ounce of formula after we nurse."

At this point, I find out the baby's age (varies) and how often the baby is nursing (often less than 8 times per 24 hours). I also ask if she has PCOS or a thyroid condition. I find out if she has recently started taking birth control or gone back to work. Any of these situations can have a negative impact on milk supply.

Solutions
Based on the information she gives me, I make one or more of the following suggestions:

- Make sure you nurse every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day. Count your time from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next. You should have a minimum of 8 feeds every 24 hours. If you're trying to increase supply, 9 or 10 times might be even better. Sometimes going to bed for 24-48 hours with your baby and nursing as often as she wants helps. Make sure you've got somebody feeding YOU and taking care of YOU!

- If you are using a breastpump, try renting a hospital grade pump for a couple of weeks to get the stimulation you need.

- Be sure you're getting enough rest. When your baby is asleep, you need to rest, not do laundry! Also be sure to get at least 2400 calories and enough fluids so that you aren't thirsty.

- Certain foods help increase supply. They are called galactagogues. Oatmeal, Brewer's Yeast and Ovaltine are a few common foods that can help increase your supply.

- Herbal galactagogues can also be very helpful. Motherlove More Milk Plus has fenugreek, blessed thistle, nettle leaf and fennel in an extract form. It often makes a difference within 48 hours. It is important not to eat or drink anything 20 minutes before or after you take it, though, for maximum absorption. Moms with PCOS or thyroid conditions benefit from More Milk Special Blend which also contains Goats Rue to help with the development of milk-producing tissue.

- Use a Lact-aid nursing trainer to increase the amount of milk your baby gets at the breast. More effective suckling will help you produce more milk.

- Two drugs are often used to increase milk supply: Reglan (metaclopramide) and Domperidone. Both can have serious side effects, but both do increase supply successfully. I encourage each mother to talk with her doctor about these possible galactagogues.

If you have questions or concerns about your supply, the best thing you can do is contact your La Leche League leader or your lactation consultant. She is there for you!

Say "I Love You" While You Can

2009-09-09T10:59:00.004-05:00

One week ago today my friend Dana died suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep. We still don't know exactly what happened. She was my age, 49. Actually Dana was one month and eleven days younger than me! She was healthy, fit, vibrant, full of energy, and lit up a room when she entered it.

She was also an amazing mom! Her two boys are 14 and 18. Her older son is one of my son's college roommates. Her younger son is in my high school daughter's freshman class; they've been friends since 5th grade. Last semester her son and my daughter both homeschooled. They did their science and math classes together, and I grew even closer to Dana during that time. Their math teacher was a nursing mom who often nursed her baby in the sling during class time. Sometimes it was a little awkward for a 14 year old boy. But Dana told him that he had nursed and how completely natural it was.

It's always hard when kids leave the nest, but Dana did all she could to make it a smooth transition. We all went down to help our boys get moved in (there are 3 roommates who all played HS soccer together). She made frequent Sam's runs so the boys would have plenty of food. After the last shopping trip, her son said "I love You" before he headed back to school. She told him that she loved him, too. That was the last time he saw her.

Dana did a great job of raising two incredible young men of faith who have the resources necessary to make it through this time. We never know how long we'll be given to enjoy and love our kids. Sometimes mothering can be overwhelming. You feel like if you have to change another diaper, wipe another snotty nose or mediate another sibling fight, you'll go stark-raving mad. But when you're right in the middle of that, remember what a gift your kids are. Remember what a gift life is. And pause for a minute; then say "I love you."

The beauty of kangaroo care

2009-08-26T21:07:00.003-05:00

More and more studies point to the changes that occur in preemies who are allowed to have kangaroo care with their mothers. I could point to any one of them to show that kangaroo care can be a powerful healer.

Instead of doing that, I'm going to point you to a story about one mother's experience with kangaroo care, and how it saved her tiny one's life.

In the home stretch!

2009-08-24T10:24:00.002-05:00

This summer has been the craziest that my family has been through. Four weddings, a trip to the beach, a birthday, two trips to Atlanta, a trip overseas, family and friends visiting us, starting home-schooling, damage from storms, starting two new jobs (luckily one is temporary)...it's just been wild. We're in the last two weeks of it - my daughter is in Maryland this week with her grandparents, and next week my husband and son will go up there to visit and pick her up, and then the kids will go to the beach with my parents while my husband and I are at a conference in Atlanta. Labor Day, we'll all come back home, and we'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief until the holiday season. Even for me, the amount that we've been doing has been too much.

Through all of this, my son has kept nursing. Even when we've been separated for three or four days, whenever we've come back together, he's eventually asked to nurse again. Some days he may nurse as many as four times; other days not at all. We're definitely in the last parts of our nursing days.

Even knowing this, I'm not totally prepared for the idea that he may wean completely next week. We'll be separated for seven nights and eight days while he's in Maryland and down in Gulf Shores - by far the longest period of time we've been separated. By the end of it, I don't know that he'll be thinking about nursing at all. I don't know that I want him to be thinking about nursing by that time either. But whenever I think that this Sunday/Monday might be the last time he nurses, I get a sad little ache around my heart.

Don't get me wrong - we've been nursing just over three years now, so it's not like he'll be weaning early. I have plenty of good nursing memories with both of my kids to look back on. Knowing, however, that he is my last, that this is the last child I'll ever nurse...it makes me a little melancholy, something I have never expected to feel when it came down to it.

Ah well. Life will be full of such lettings go. Right now, my daughter is in Maryland with her grandparents, and I won't see her for two weeks - much, much longer than I've ever gone with not seeing her. It's probably the combination of this next step along the path of my daughter's independence combined with the possibility of my son weaning that is making me feel sadder about this than I thought I would. And I know that when it's all said and done, I won't really give it another thought; it'll just be another parenting milestone hit, so to speak.

But for right now, I'm just a little sad about it all.

PTD – Parent of Teens Depression

2009-08-17T22:04:00.002-05:00

Everyone recognizes PPD (post-partum depression) as a very real phenomenon often caused by significant shifts in hormonal balances. I've written before about how important it is for mothers suffering from PPD to get help. Another key factor for those moms is breastfeeding which increases a woman's production of prolactin and oxytocin. In an earlier blog I listed several antidepressents that are considered compatible with breastfeeding. Since I tend to blog about breastfeeding and baby issues, I know that's what my readers have come to expect.

This blog, however, is about a different season of parenting and the very real effect it can have on a mother's emotional well-being. Parenting teenagers can be a real challenge; it can also be an absolute delight. But even strong attachment parenting techniques in infancy and early childhood don't guarantee a smooth ride during the teen years. Although I do believe the secure foundation we give our children through attachment parenting certainly makes the ride a little less bumpy than it might be otherwise. Neither does extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting guarantee that a child will never have any kind of illness. Genetics play a key role in some illnesses, and while breastfeeding absolutely does help our kids be healthier, it is not a magic elixir.

One such illness which we have faced in our family is adolescent bi-polar disorder. We do have a family history of mental illness, and unfortunately one of our children has developed the chemical imbalances which create bi-polar disorder. Fortunately this child is very bright and actually did research herself when she began having symptoms. We have a wonderful Christian psychiatrist as well as a terrific Christian counselor to whom she relates very well. But it is still a struggle. You have to find the right combination of medications, make sure they are in balance, then make sure that nothing else she takes for an unrelated condition (say a brown recluse bite, for instance) interacts with her bi-polar meds.

Add into this mix the fact that Mom is 49 and definitely peri-menopausal, and you have a recipe for PTD. Now I've never seen anything in the literature about PTD, but I think it should be there. Many women who are parenting teens and experiencing menopause are also caring for an aging parent. That will up the stress several notches! These same women are also often at critical points in their careers – they may be in leadership and management positions with all the accompanying headaches. I'm telling you, this is a recipe for disaster! Actually in the literature, there is information on PTD, but it has nothing to do with parents of teens. I really wish some PhD student who needs a good thesis topic would tackle PTD as it relates to parents of teens!

The good news is that help is available. A family doctor or Ob/Gyn will often prescribe something to help a woman cope with the stresses of PTD. Even women who've never had to take an anti-depressant may find that they cry a little less and get a little better perspective once the chemicals in the brain get stabilized. New moms have all kinds of support groups; maybe mothers of teens need their own version of La Leche League. Finding one or two close friends in whom you can confide is crucial for the mom who is overwhelmed by her life. Another option is a professional counselor. If you can find one you click with, it is worth every cent. The goal, of course, is to get you to the point where you don't need help….but in the meantime, don't be afraid or embarrassed to get a little help.

Whether you are in the early days of parenting, still enjoying your baby's precious cuddles, or you are on the roller-coaster ride of parenting teens, one thing is certain: your child will grow up way too fast, and you need to be mentally and emotionally healthy so you can enjoy every moment of every day.

Breastfeeding is a Lifeline in an Emergency Situation

2009-08-05T08:27:00.002-05:00

Every year the first week of August is set aside as World Breastfeeding Week. This year's theme is "Breastfeeding is a vital emergency response. When a disaster strikes, everyone should be ready!" The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action, (WABA), reminds both mothers and health care workers that emergencies can happen anywhere in the world. In their press release, they point out that infants and young children are especially vulnerable to malnutrition, illness, and death in these situations. Whatever the emergency –from earthquake to conflict, from floods to the flu pandemic – the story is the same: breastfeeding is a lifeline and a shield that protects infants in emergencies.

According to their press release, the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF recommendations - early initiation and exclusive breastfeeding until six months of age and continued breastfeeding for two years or beyond - are even more critical in emergencies. Breastfeeding is the one safe and secure source of food and fluid for infants - instantly available, providing active protection against illness and keeping an infant warm and close to his/her mother. It also reduces the risk of post-partum hemorrhage in the mother, the leading cause of maternal mortality worldwide. In the challenging and risky environment of an emergency, how infants are fed is key to their survival.

The rationale behind this year's theme includes the following points:

Children are the most vulnerable in emergencies – child mortality can soar from 2 to 70 times higher than average due to diarrhea, respiratory illness and malnutrition.
Breastfeeding is a life saving intervention and protection is greatest for the youngest infants. Even in non-emergency settings, non-breastfed babies under 2 months of age are six times more likely to die.
Emergencies can happen anywhere in the world. Emergencies destroy what is 'normal,' leaving caregivers struggling to cope and infants vulnerable to disease and death.
During emergencies, mothers need active support to continue or re-establish breastfeeding.
Emergency preparedness is vital. Supporting breastfeeding in non-emergency settings will strengthen mothers' capacity to cope in an emergency.

WABA is quick to point out that when an emergency strikes, simple measures can make all the difference in the world. Emergency preparedness is the key to quick appropriate actions. Mothers need to be secure and have priority access to food for the family, water, shelter and safe places to breastfeed. I recently read about a victim of Hurricane Katrina who was stuck with her newborn on a roof for many hours. When they were rescued, the baby was severely dehydrated and later died in the hospital. The nutritionist who reported the situation noted sadly that if this mother had been nursing her baby, the baby would probably still be alive. It doesn't matter whether a mother lives in a third world country or in a western nation, the ability to nurse her baby may just be the factor that saves his life.

Where Should Newborns Sleep?

2009-07-24T14:51:00.002-05:00

I recently attended the International Lactation Consultant Association Convention in Orlando. We heard several presentations dealing with infant sleep.

Moms Need Sleep!
Helen Ball, an anthropologist at Durham University in England spoke about the normalcy of infant/parent shared sleep. In a recent study she and her partners evaluated the amount of sleep mothers got based on where their infants slept. Some infants slept in their mothers' beds. Some slept in cots attached to their mother's beds, and some slept in traditional separate cribs. The mothers whose infants slept in the cots attached to the mothers' beds got the most sleep. The mothers of infants whose babies were in their beds got almost as much sleep, and those whose infants were in traditional cribs got the least sleep.

Depressed Moms Really Need Sleep!
Another fascinating speaker was Kathleen Kendall-Tackett a Clinical Psychologist who is a professor at Texas Tech University School of Medicine in Amarillo. She spoke about recent advice given to mothers suffering from post-partum depression that they get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. Some experts say that they should be separated from their infants at night in order to ensure proper rest.

She highlighted research, however, that indicates such separation actually makes the situation worse for the mother suffering from PPD. When these mothers have ready access to their infants in a co-sleeping situation, they actually get more rest! A wonderful solution for such a mother might be an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper.

Sleep Where You Sleep Best...But Be Close
Ultimately mothers and babies need to sleep where they sleep best. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants sleep in a "separate bur proximate environment." Researchers from a variety of venues have demonstrated both the safety and the benefits of mothers and babies sleeping together whether it be in the same bed or in a co-sleeper attached to mom's bed. So each mother must decide for herself where she and her baby sleep best!

When Do You Need a Lactation Consultant?

2009-07-16T07:52:00.005-05:00

Breastfeeding is natural...the way God intended for babies to be fed. So it should be easy and automatic, right?
Well, maybe in a perfect world. But unfortunately, not in this one. Some lucky mothers never have the first problem. Baby is born, goes to the breast, latches on like a champ, gains weight and grows beautifully! The reality for many mothers, though, is that breastfeeding can be a real challenge. In fact, many moms just give up because they feel like they just can't do it. That's where a good lactation consultant is worth her weight in gold!

What Is a Lactation Consultant?
A Lactation Consultant is a health care professional who has received specialized training in the management of breastfeeding. She knows how to help moms who are having problems with latch-on, with milk supply, with sore nipples or engorgement and with sick babies. She can help a mother figure out what medications are safe to take while breastfeeding. She is both cheerleader and coach.

Unlike a peer counselor or La Leche League leader, she charges for her services because she is a professional who carries malpractice insurance and has worked hard to receive her professional credentials. Many times she will encourage mothers to seek out peer counselors or La Leche League groups for ongoing support because she recognizes the vital role they play in helping breastfeeding moms succeed.

The "gold standard" for lactation consultants is the designation International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). All IBCLC's will also have the designation Registered Lactation Consultant (RLC). To become an IBCLC, the candidate must be able to prove extensive education in the field of human lactation. She (or he - some male physicians are IBCLC's) must also have documented a specified number of hours of direct contact helping mothers and babies breastfeed. Then the candidate takes a challenging board exam and must achieve a passing score. Every 5 years IBCLC's must recertify either by continuing education hours or by exam. However, they are required to recertify by exam at least once every 10 years.

Other programs do exist that certify lactation educators or breastfeeding consultants, but none is as stringent as the IBCLC. Hospitals looking for a breastfeeding professional want the IBCLC designation, and honestly, if you're looking for the best possible care, you should, too. You can find an IBCLC near you at the ILCA site.

When Should You Call?
As long as your baby is nursing well, you're nipples aren't sore, and baby is gaining weight, you probably won't need to see a Lactation Consultant. However, if your nipples are still sore after the first few days, or your baby isn't gaining weight like he should, you definitely need to set up an appointment. Some IBCLC's will come to your house. That is really the ideal because you are in your own environment, and she can help you find the very best way to nurse there. However, you may have to go to her office. Be sure to take your breast pump and any other accessories you have been using.

Often nursing will start out just fine, then after several weeks or months, all of a sudden mom's nipples will become very tender. It's a good idea to go see a lactation consultant so she can check you for thrush. Sometimes when a mom returns to work she will need to see a lactation consultant to put together a pumping plan. IBCLC's are usually able to help working mothers find a way to blend breastfeeding and work fairly seamlessly. Occasionally a mom will get sick or need surgery. The IBCLC can help her create a plan to sustain breastfeeding through this period.

Many hospitals have one or more lactation consultants on staff. It's always a good idea for first time mothers to make sure they get to see one before they go home with their new baby. However, many IBCLC's are in private practice. They tend to do home visits and may even have a breast pump rental business. Some IBCLC's host support groups for moms. If you are able to attend a moms' group hosted by an IBCLC, by all means do so. You will get expert advice without paying consult fees. Furthermore, being around other nursing mothers will encourage you, and you just might encourage them, too.

Next week IBCLC's from all over the world will converge on Orlando for the International Lactation Consultant Association meeting. This professional organization for IBCLC's (and those studying to become IBCLC's) helps members stay up-to-date in their practice. Recent research will be presented, and participants will come away renewed and re-energized to provide you with the very best breastfeeding support available!

Cruising Through 25 Years Together – Part 3

2009-07-09T07:09:00.002-05:00

Wednesday

We awakened this morning in Endicott Arm, a fjord filled with chunks of glacial ice. We were supposed to go to Tracy Arm, but a huge glacier blocked our entrance. Nevertheless, our naturalist said that Endicott Arm, which leads to Daw's Glacier is perhaps even more spectacular than Tracy Army. A fjord is a U-shaped valley that is carved by glaciers. At one time this was all ice! Waterfalls on each side cascade to meet the sea. Every once in a while we see ice that actually looks blue. This is called "heart ice" because it comes from ages of snow being packed making for very dense ice. It is spectacular! We learned that an iceberg has to be 20 feet or more. A growler is a medium size piece of ice. The closer we get to the glacier, the more we see pieces of ice of all sizes all around us. We are enjoying the show from the comfort (cold though it is) of our balcony. I have decided that the one absolute MUST for an Alaskan cruise is a balcony room! Our naturalist has a running commentary on the TV. She explains that we are only seeing 10% of the ice; the rest is below the surface of the water. I tell Keith that I have to blog about this as we are experiencing it because I want to capture this surreal once-in-a-lifetime event as we live it. If I wait until later, I might not convey the wonder and amazement we are feeling at this moment. As we approach the glacier, it looks like a field of ice lying in front of us. The water is aquamarine, and the air is crisp. I wonder how in the world we will navigate through it. But our naturalist has assured us that we have 2 experienced Alaskan pilots aboard who know these waters better than even our ship's captain and pilot. Furthermore, they use radar to guide them so that we don't experience a Titanic-like tragedy. It does make me feel better that nobody has claimed "Not even God could sink this ship." At last we see the glacier ahead of us wedged between two rocky mountains. It looks like tire tracks run down the face of the glacier, as if some enormous four-wheeler has been playing here. But our naturalist explains that these are created by sediment from the rocks and mountains. We're nearly 4 miles from it, but it seems huge. Seeing this glacier is one of the most amazing things I've ever done.

After finally seeing the glacier, we headed up to the Horizon buffet for a late breakfast. Then we went down to the Vista Lounge on deck 7 (the Promenade deck) for a little line dancing. We both had fun learning new steps and trying to keep up. Keith tried to sit out for a minute or two, but his task master (me) wouldn't let him. We had thought about going to the gym to work out, but our line dancing class gave us a great cardio workout! Trivia was at 11:30, so we headed into the Wheelhouse Lounge to join in. Our team didn't do so well, only 11/20. I've always thought the Statue of Liberty was on Ellis Island. It's not; it's on another little island called Liberty Island. That's just one of the many things I learned today. By then it was time to celebrate Canada Day in the Piazza. Keith donned his Canada t-shirt, and off we went. We stood for a lovely rendition of O Canada – I think it was the first time I really paid attention to the words. Then the band struck up a Dixieland concert. So we grabbed a very light snack of quiche coupled with shrimp and mushroom salad at the International Café. We shopped a little – they have daily big bargains on the boat. Then we headed up for an Alaskan lunch buffet. I tried Caribou which was delicious!

The ship docked at about 2:00 in Juneau, and we headed into town for some shopping and sightseeing before our tour. We found the state capital and got to tour it. Governor Palin wasn't in, but I did manage to get a contact name for an article I'd like to do about her. She's a breastfeeding, baby-wearing mom whom I'd love to profile in Valley Babies. We had to sort of hustle back to the bus which took us the mile or so down to our boat where we were scheduled to catch our tour. We made it just in the nick of time and headed off to glacier gardens. I've been to some beautiful gardens in my life, but I've never seen anything like this. It is built on the site of a mudslide, and the variety of flowers which grow in this rainforest environment is amazing. After seeing the lower part of the gardens, we boarded golf carts to take us up a long trail through the forest to a boardwalk overlooking Juneau. The ponds, little waterfalls, and upside down trees used as planters made for a breathtaking ride. Our drivers were eager to share their wit and knowledge of the area with us, which made the trip even more enjoyable. We came back down on a "monster" golf cart – I think it seated 16.

After the gardens, it was time to go to Mendenhall glacier. We learned that this glacier is now receding about 230 feet/year. We got stunning photographs, but they can't begin to capture the incredible sensation of seeing such an enormous piece of ice. On the way back into town, the bus dropped us off by the Red Dog Saloon, a saloon with swinging wooden doors, sawdust on the floor, and the most delightful eclectic collection of memorabilia. After shopping a bit we headed back to the boat –almost a 2 mile walk. We're definitely getting our workout. We had a very late dinner followed by pure, sheer, unadulterated relaxation in the whirlpool. It could have been a little warmer, but it felt divine to relax. Now I'm trying to stay awake to finish writing about today, but the foot massage my dh is giving me isn't helping at all!

Thursday

We had already docked in Skagway when we awakened around 7:00 and went upstairs for breakfast. Leaving the ship, we noticed many of the rocks on the mountainside in front of us had the names of ships and captains painted on them. For over a hundred years, it has been the custom to paint the name of each ship and each captain on the rocks of Skagway the first time they dock there. We walked about a half mile into the town which, at first glance, appeared frozen in time. Relatively few vehicles were in the streets; most of them were carrying tourists somewhere. The population of Skagway (which means wind) is between 800 and 900. The summer cruise season swells the number of people there each day to as many as 8000. One indication that this quaint town is very tourist oriented is the number of major jewelry companies that have storefronts here. Diamonds International, Venetian, Effy – all names we've seen at other stops. We tried to shop the locally-owned stores as much as possible.

We didn't have an excursion planned, but we did plan to see The Days of '98 Show, an 84 year old musical depicting the history of early Skagway. We lucked out with a combination deal that gave us a 2 ½ hour tour plus the show for $50/person. Our tour was on a 24 passenger shuttle with a delightful driver named Ty who is an Alaskan transplant from New York. He got tired of driving cabs and moved west. He's been here 12 years and was an entertaining fountain of information. We drove up the highway to White Pass passing the continental divide and International Falls. We also saw Pitchfork Falls and Bridal Veil Falls. We got loads of pictures before my camera broke! The scenery as we were driving was unbelievably spectacular. We saw glaciers wedged between mountain peaks, valleys full of lush vegetation, rocky plateaus covered with Christmas Tree lichen, and the churning waters of the Chilkoot River. We crossed into Canada where we stopped to explore, crossing a small creek and ending up on a rocky ledge where our guide showed us evidence of the various stages of regrowth following the melting of a glacier. Returning through Customs, we didn't even have to show our driver's licenses. Our driver just told them how many US citizens and how many Canadians were on the bus and that we were all tourists from the ships – nothing to it at all!

On our way back we visited "Boot Hill" the Gold Rush Cemetery where local legend Frank Reid is buried with a huge memorial proclaiming him as the man who made Skagway safe again because he shot conman Jefferson Randolph (Soapy) Smith. Both men died, but thousands showed up for Reid's funeral and he was buried in the middle of the cemetery. Only the preacher (who had to be asked twice to perform the funeral) and two others (a mystery woman veiled completely in black and a Teamster who quickly fled town) showed up, and Smith was buried just outside the boundary of the cemetery. We noticed that many of the graves indicated relatively short life spans – 38, 45 years – too young to die! Even more eye-opening was the number of graves for infants and small children. This was truly a difficu Bytlt place to survive!

Back in town, we went to The Days of '98 Show which depicted the story of Soapy Smith and the "ladies" at his establishment. Apparently he had a wife and several children back in St. Louis, but in Seattle he had met Belle, and she had come with him to Skagway. The musical was funny in many places, with the dancing girls getting members of the audience actively involved. Nevertheless, it ended with the Soapy's death at the hand of Frank Reid. By the time the show was over, we just had time to drop by one museum quickly where we saw artifacts from Alaska's history including whale bone swords and whale teeth. We also learned that the last shot of the Civil War was fired in Alaska two months after Lee surrendered. A Confederate gunboat had traveled up to cut off a northern supply route, and they didn't get the message that the war was over!

Back on the boat we changed for dinner and once again enjoyed a lovely meal with our table companions. We finally got the Alaskan King Crab legs we had been hoping for all trip! The crew had put together a talent show for us in the Princess Theater for Thursday night, so we decided to attend. From waiters juggling to a belly dancer from Peru, we were thrilled by the talents of the crew members. Housekeeping staff, waiters, casino dealers, engine room workers…a wide variety of crew members shared their talents with us. It was a lovely evening. After the show we wandered up to the top deck and decided to visit Skywalkers Lounge perched high atop the back of the ship. It is a great place for 20 and 30 somethings, but we decided we would rather go down to the Promenade lounge where Bruce was playing again. We were becoming regulars with Bruce the piano player. He ended at midnight, so we came back to the room and watched a Loveboat rerun on TV!

Friday

After our late night on Thursday we slept in Friday morning until nearly 10:00! We had gotten in the habit of falling asleep with our curtains open so we could see the ocean, but usually around 3:00 it would start getting light, so one of us (usually me) would get up and close the curtains. Thursday night we knew we were going to sleep in on Friday, so we closed the curtains before going to bed. No alarms, no ringing phones, no children…nothing to awaken us but our own internal clocks! It was heavenly! We headed down for a late breakfast at the Horizon buffet. Then we went to see an ice carving demonstration by the Neptune Pool. In just 15 minutes or so two carvers each turned a 300 pound block of ice into a piece of art. One created an eagle with his wings up as if he were coming in for a landing. The other created a fish – it looked like an aquarium fish, perhaps an angel fish. Watching them work was fascinating. They begin with a picture in their mind's eye, and with each successive stroke of their tools, that image took shape and seemed to come to life.

Keith and I both love games, so we headed down to play Taboo in the wheelhouse lounge. We joined two teens from Connecticut, Josh and Alyssa, as we laughed our way through definition minefields. We had eaten a late breakfast, but on a cruise ship it seems that it's always time to eat again….so we did. It was Mexican Day in the buffet line by the Conservatory Pool, and we love Mexican food! I couldn't eat very much, but I did manage to enjoy a fajita and some of their incredible guacamole sauce. Then it was off to hear Kathy Stamp, our resident naturalist talk about whales and other Alaskan wildlife. She first came to Alaska when she was 4 years old with her parents who were missionaries. Her knowledge, her pictures, and her stories were all fascinating. Although we didn't get to see a bear or a whale in person, Kathy's pictures just about made up for it. Besides, Keith got his bear fix Thanksgiving two years ago when we were in North Carolina at my brother's house…but that's another story for another blog! We actually bought both of Kathy's books, Little House in the Arctic and Little House in the Rain Forest.

At that point Keith and I parted ways L but only briefly. He wanted to go see the movie Eagle Eye on deck, and I wanted to go to the Vista Lounge for Nowhere Near a Millionaire. This hilarious take-off on the popular game show had me laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. Suffice it to say that the Entertainment Staff on a Princess Cruise work hard to keep lots of endorphins flowing! At 3:30 we met at the Portofino for high tea. We sat with a former Huntsvillian, Carol, who graduated from Lee High School and UAH. She now lives in Phoenix. High tea was always fun, but the challenge was to just eat very little since formal dinner followed so closely afterwards.

Friday evening was our second formal night, so I got to wear my pretty little black ruffled cocktail dress with its accompanying shawl, and Keith wore his dashing black suitl. Roz looked lovely in a sparkly silver and black pantsuit, and Elliot was in a tux. But Gregory was the real hit as he approached the table dressed in a handsome suit and tie with his sunglasses on! He was every bit the debonair young man as he dramatically doffed them to greet us! I thought again how much our Son #2 would have enjoyed hanging around with him! We began our meal with a seafood pate and caviar, followed by salad. Dinner was lobster tail and prawns with drawn butter. Unlike our previous lobster experiences in Maine, we didn't have to do any of the work; they did it all for us. Dessert was Baked Alaska on Parade. They literally paraded lit Baked Alaskas around the entire dining room. Now I've heard that in the past they were lit with sparklers; ours, however, had battery operated candles…not quite the same impact, but still fun. For the benefit of those who've never tasted Baked Alaska, I have to take a moment to describe it. It looks like an enormous big meringue-topped pie. When you cut into it, there are 3 layers of ice cream, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. It is so unbelievably rich that it must be tasted to be believed!

Words and Music was the Friday night show in the Princess Theater. It was a tribute to some of Broadway's greatest composers and their most famous musicals. From Les Miserables to West Side Story, the cast sang and danced its way through numerous Broadway numbers. Following that, we headed to the Vista Lounge to hear Tony Daro at 10:30. He kept the audience in stitches as he talked about parenting teens and young adults. Boy could we relate! Our kids are terrific, but he really hit home when he talked about adolescent girls and menopausal women living under the same roof! The sad thing, though, was his negative humor about his wife. I know he was trying to get laughs, but it was depressing to both Keith and me to hear the way he talked about her. We've been married 25 years, and I can honestly say I love him so much more than I did 24 years ago, and I feel pretty certain he would say the same thing. Excuse the mini-digression here, but unless you both take time to nurture your marriage like a precious green plant, it won't blossom the way it should! We've worked hard over the years to fertilize and water our relationship so we would have deep roots for optimal growth. Of course, we had to end our evening with our favorite piano player, Bruce, who played Rocky Top but didn't know Sweet Home Alabama!

Saturday

To those of you who've stuck with this travelogue thus far, Thanks! After breakfast Saturday morning we went to the Interdenominational Worship Service with Cruise Director Lee Childers again. His message this time was from Hebrews 12 about faith. He spoke about the faith exhibited by Abraham, Noah, and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. His encouragement to us was to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. After the service we gathered at the Piazza for the singing of the National Anthem and God Bless America. The deck was festooned with red, white and blue, and several beautiful cakes celebrated the Fourth of July. Ron Pearson, juggler and comedienne extraordinaire entertained us afterwards.

We decided to change up our lunch routine and ate in the Portofino where we were seated with two interesting families, one from Kansas City and one from Arizona. We decided it was time to explore the ship a little more since it was our last day, so we headed up to the Princess Links on deck 16. Have you ever tried to hit a golf ball with a foghorn blowing in your ear? Interesting experience! Keith was so proud that he ended up 2 under par…he's gonna tell all his friends he went 2 under on the front nine of a brand new course! (Of course, he's not going to mention it was just a putting green) In the afternoon we played Independence Day Trivia (we only got 12/26 points…do You know who the shortest President was, or what Eleanor Roosevelt served her guests that caused a huge media stir?? Neither did we! Then we played Taboo – we named ourselves "The Honeymooners," and lost out to "The Dragons" and "The Tigers," both teams of 20-something women who were pretty sharp! (Keith says they just had easier questions!)

Miraculously, by the time we docked in Victoria the fog had lifted, and the sun was shining gloriously. We disembarked and opted for a walking tour that first took us down to Fisherman's Wharf in the Inner Harbor. What a lovely, quaint little wharf. Floating Houses and Houseboats line the docks. Some look Dutch; others look Victorian; still others look modern. All are colorful with flowers decorating every available nook and cranny. Approaching the end of one dock, we noticed a family was taking pictures, so we offered to snap a shot of all of them together. AS they walked away, one lady turned around and came back to us, saying we looked so familiar to her. She asked where we were from; when we said Huntsville, she asked our names. It turns out she and her husband were members of the first church Keith pastured in Huntsville before moving to Atlanta in the early 90's. Another lady in her party was from Guntersville and recognized Valley Babies! I guess I'll always be "The Valley Babies Lady."

We continued on our walk along the lakefront as we approached downtown Victoria and the Parliament buildings. Across from the domed Parliament was the grand old Empress Hotel, a destination in its own right. This lovely Victorian era hotel boasts gardens, a famous tearoom, shops, and unbridled luxury. Leaving the hotel we wandered past the Gatsby Manor Bed and Breakfast. Just as soon as they create a Babymoon Package, I'll feature them in Valley Babies! We headed past the Royal British Columbia Museum and the original St. Ann Schoolhouse to beautiful Beacon Park. This inner City park covers hundreds of acres. Filled with duck ponds, lakes, peacocks, winding paths, beautiful gardens and even a children's petting farm, this park seems to epitomize the charm of Victoria. Leaving the park we strolled down through the St. James Bay district with its charming Victorian houses and old-world neighborhoods. Victoria has a delightful mix of modern architecture and old British style. I can see why people love living there. Residents we met told us they have a relatively mild climate year round.

Returning to our ship around 9:00 in the evening, we opted for a buffet dinner in the Horizon. We were tired and somewhat saddened that we were coming to the end of a wonderful cruise, so we decided to stay in our room. We also had to have all luggage except our carry-on pieces outside our door for pick-up by 10:00. Marley and Me was on TV. Though I had seen it, Keith never had, so we relaxed, finished off our anniversary dessert from Tuesday night, and worked on this blog!

Sunday

Dawn came much too early on this final morning of our adventure. After a final visit to the Horizon buffet for breakfast, we finished gathering our carry-on luggage and headed for the Princess Theater one last time where we got to watch a Loveboat rerun as we waited for our group to be called to disembark. Two uneventful flights later, we arrived back in Huntsville tired, but with memories that will last a lifetime.

Cruising Through 25 Years Together, Part 2

2009-07-07T22:55:00.004-05:00

We began the celebration of our 25^th Anniversary on May 24 with an afternoon vow renewal ceremony at our church followed by a reception. Son #2 graduated from High School on May 22, and all our family from both Florida and Texas were here to celebrate with us, so we decided it was a great time to go ahead and renew our vows. When we married 25 years ago, my father was unable to attend our wedding because my grandparents who raised me loathed him and said they wouldn't attend the wedding if he were there. It was a truly awful thing for them to do to a young bride, but they weren't thinking about me, only about themselves. Both of them struggled with mental illness, so I can't be bitter, but I'm so thankful for the wonderful relationship I have with my Daddy now. He walked me down the aisle at our vow renewal. Words can't begin to express the overwhelming sense of completion I felt as I walked down the aisle on my father's arm in my formal black gown with glittering rhinestones. Our dear friend, Rev. Keith Cook performed the ceremony (which we had initially planned for June 26, then changed 2 weeks earlier – what flexibility!)

Our wonderful church family helped us put together a wonderful reception. However, we still had just over a month left before we headed off for our second honeymoon!

Saturday

The fun really began early Saturday, June 27 when we left our house at 5:30 for the Huntsville airport. After making our connection at DFW, we landed in Seattle shortly before 1:00 pm. The flight from Dallas was spectacular as we saw snow-capped mountains in Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho and Washington. Mount Ranier loomed majestic right outside our airplane window. What a magnificent backdrop for a truly beautiful city! Upon arrival, we were immediately impressed with the friendliness and helpfulness of the people. Although we weren't scheduled to sail until Sunday, Mona from the cruise transport company provided a wealth of information, even giving us a map and telling us what bus to take to get downtown. We settled into our Holiday Inn Express, though I must admit that my first impression of the hotel was not very positive. Someone had the bright idea to use two clashing shades of green and a nondescript shade of beige the paint the outside. Ugly doesn't begin to describe it. But inside it was quite nice, and our room was very comfortable. The staff was both friendly and helpful. After Keith rested for a little while (don't forget, he IS 3 years older than I am…and he's already in his 50's…) we decided to take the city bus downtown. The hotel staff recommended that we take the shuttle which was "only $14 a person." We thought $2 a person on the bus sounded better, plus we wanted an adventure!

On the way to the bus stop we happened upon an International Festival in a park overlooking a lovely lake. We meandered through the festival for 15 minutes or so. That's all it really took to get an overview, although there were some interesting vendors with nice things. However, we were eager to get to the famous Pike Market. Our bus came, we hopped on, paid our money and got our transfers for the ride back, and off we went on our Seattle adventure. One thing that stood out to me about Seattle is how clean the city is. Another thing that impressed me is the multi-cultural aspect of the city. We heard a variety of languages on the bus and saw people from many different ethnic backgrounds. Fellow passengers were very friendly and told us where to get off and how to get to the Market. As we approached downtown, the bus entered an underground tunnel – a unique innovation in Seattle which helps clear the streets of congestion. They also have a train system that runs through the tunnel, so it almost seemed as if the bus was driving on the train tracks – in fact, it probably was.

We got off the bus and a lovely young women showed us how to get out of the tunnel and gave us clear directions. A few minutes later, a young man from LA who had just participated in a marathon began talking to us. Turns out he has traveled to several marathons, but he hasn't made it to Huntsville yet! We chatted until we reached the market at which point we parted ways. The Pike Market is amazing. They really do throw fish….and I didn't hear the fish complaining at all! The recent uproar about the fish throwing made me really curious about it; it is fascinating to watch. The market stretches for about 4 blocks and is on two levels. It's actually a wonderful collection of markets, specialty shops, restaurants and souvenir shops. We wandered through the market for over an hour. As we were emerged from the inside section of the market to the outside vendors, we heard somebody say, "Is that an Auburn shirt?" My husband was indeed wearing an Auburn shirt, and it opened the door for us to make the acquaintance of a family from Muscle Shoals. In fact throughout the day we heard "War Eagle" at least 3 times from different people! No trip to Pike Market would be complete without a visit to the original Starbucks. Keith got a souvenir travel mug and we enjoyed a strawberry and cream frappacino. After another hour of walking, we were starting to get hungry, so we began looking for a place to eat. We wound up in a little oyster bar set back inside a shopping area. The outside seating had a view of a terraced garden – it felt like a lovely little grotto. I wish I had written down the name, but I hadn't yet had the idea to do this blog! We had fried zucchini and a seafood sampler. Then we climbed the stairs beside the terraced garden to an alleyway with more shops and restaurants. We made our way back to the bus tunnel with no incident, and headed back to the hotel for a wonderful night's sleep!

Sunday

We awakened early Sunday because we were just so doggone excited we couldn't sleep! The hotel had a nice spread for breakfast, but the eggs really left a lot to be desired….so did the biscuits and gravy. They might be friendly in Seattle, but they sure don't cook like Southerners! We boarded a shuttle back to the airport where we met our transportation to the cruise ship. Hundreds and hundreds of people with thousands of bags were waiting to be transported. Our cruise terminal services Holland America as well as Princess. Finally we boarded a bus and began the trip to the terminal. We saw the Norwegian Pearl on the way and oohed and aahed. But suddenly we turned a corner and there looming before us was the Star Princess. She is a beauty to behold! Our ship is white with lovely lines and exquisite style. I learned that the 1970's show Loveboat was filmed on a Princess Ship. We entered the terminal, went through security, checked in and received our cards which do all kinds of good things: open the door to our stateroom, allow us the buy things, and let us get on and off the ship. After standing in line forever, we finally got to board and were shown to our stateroom on the Aloha deck (the 12^th floor). The room is small, but nice. Our steward is delightful, and the view from the balcony is amazing – especially if there's land nearby. The first order of business was getting some lunch at the Horizon buffet. What a spread! We decided that we'll have to do a lot of walking – lots of stairs and no elevators- just to keep from gaining a ton on this cruise! We completed a scavenger hunt to get to know the ship and attended the Sailaway Party by the pool on the Sun Deck. During the party Keith won a book full of coupons and free items from various stores in Alaska. We even have a coupon for a free 2 carat sapphire! We watched from the upper deck as the ship left Seattle, then we explored some more.

Our dinner seating time is 5:30, so we returned to the cabin, dressed for dinner and headed down to the Amalfi dining room. When we arrived at our table, one lady was already seated there. She said her husband would be back shortly. Well, he did come back shortly…and told her to get her things and follow him…apparently they had some friends they wanted to sit with, which is quite understandable. But we were all alone at a table for 7! We waited and waited, but finally we ordered appetizers. I had spring rolls and Keith had a lobster pate – both were delicious. About that time our new dining companions showed up, Roz and Elliot with their 11 year old grandson Gregory. They were from Southern California and had taken each of their grandsons on a special cruise to Alaska. Greg was the youngest, and it was finally his turn. As we got to know each other, we discovered that Roz teaches Hebrew for young men and women who are preparing for bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. We learned so much about Judaism from Roz and Elliot – they were a true delight! For dinner I also had a French mushroom soup followed by pan-seared perch with delicious asparagus and rice pilaf. Keith had prime rib. After dinner we went to the Welcome Aboard variety show in the Princess Theater. The comedian was okay, but not great. It had been a long day, so we returned to our room to crash. Keith found My fair Lady on TV, so we fell asleep watching that and being lulled by the gentle motion of the ship. What an amazing first day!

Monday

We awakened around 8:00 and had a delicious buffet breakfast in the Horizon Dining Room on the Lido deck (14^th floor…great view.) We attended an interfaith worship service in the Vista Lounge at 9:30. Sadly, only about 20 people showed up, but the message was good, and we felt refreshed and renewed. Then Keith went to a seminar on health and getting a flat stomach…they tried to sell him a detox program. I went to a seminar on shopping…they tried to sell me on the idea of buying diamonds and alexandrite here. Nevertheless, we had won a little book with coupons for lots of free stuff, so I paid attention to the info on the many bargains available to us in Ketchikan. For attending I received an Alaska charm bracelet and some other pretty jewelry that will make a great gift! Keith started feeling a little motion sickness, so we had a buffet lunch – I made an amazing salad at the salad bar – then we came back to the room and slept for an hour and a half. Next I went to a seminar on diamonds, gemstones and watches…learned a lot and got a certificate for another free pair of earrings. Keith and I met for High Tea; it started at 3:30, and I didn't get there until 4:00. I felt so sad when I saw him sitting there all alone waiting for me.

Dinner was a formal affair Monday night, so I wore the gown I bought for our vow renewal and decked myself out with beautiful jewelry. My appetizer was shrimp cocktail followed by a salad of mixed greens. Keith had mushroom soup, then Shrimp Newberg for his entrée. My entrée was Cornish game hen with tender spring vegetables. For dessert he had a chocolate raspberry soufflé and I had a small bowl filled with a hot baked cookie doused with rich crème. Oh my…delicious doesn't begin to describe it. The captain's welcome champagne party in the elegant Piazza began at 7:15. From the champagne waterfall (750 glasses stacked in such a way that when champagne was poured into one glass, it overflowed and cascaded down filling the glasses below it.) I had a mimosa and a champagne as the captain welcomed us to the ship. He said we had over 2800 passengers on board. It certainly doesn't seem like there are that many of us! I don't feel crowded at all.

We returned to our room to change into something nice and warm. I wrapped up in my Alpaca cape, and we headed up to the Lido deck for movies under the stars. Bear in mind this ship does do Caribbean routes, so I can imagine that people would love the idea of relaxing on deck under the starlight of the Caribbean sky. First of all, here it doesn't even begin to get dark until 9:30 or later (the further north we go, the later it is.) Secondly, it's downright cold up there. But we both wanted to see the feature movie, Frost/Nixon. It was worth braving the elements. They did provide us with blankets to wrap up in, and my Alpaca kept me quite toasty! The movie was fantastic – what an amazing job David Frost did of finally getting President Nixon to admit his wrongdoing. Yet President Nixon was a pretty sympathetic figure in some ways, too. I found myself feeling sort of sorry for him, even though his downfall was totally and completely his own doing, as he finally admitted. I remember living through that time period as a high schooler, and the movie brought back memories. After the movie we headed into the Horizon for a tiny late night snack, then down to the Promenade Lounge where Bruce the piano player delighted us with tunes from old TV shows favorites from the 70's. Finally around 11:00 we headed back to the stateroom, deciding it was time to call it a night, but almost too excited to sleep because we knew we'd wake up in Alaska!

Tuesday

Excitement about awakening in Alaska kept us from a really sound sleep. We fell asleep with the curtains open, but by about 3:30 the dawning light woke us up, so we closed the curtains to get a couple more hours of shut-eye. By 5:30, though, we just couldn't stay in bed any longer. We were approaching the quaint village of Ketchikan, and wanted to grab some breakfast before we headed out for a well-planned day of shopping. We found a window seat for breakfast and watched as we neared the dock, joining two other ships who had just docked this morning. Shortly after 7:00 we left the ship for our first Alaska experience. A boardwalk runs along the dock, and several visitor information centers awaited us. At one, we found an excursion (greatly discounted from the shipboard price) which we booked for 8:15. We had about forty-five minutes left, so we pulled out our shopping guide and got busy looking for the freebies. From a whaletale pendant to tanzanite earrings to a 2 ct. sapphire, we got lots of goodies throughout the day. One of the best was a collection of four distinct crystal Christmas ornaments from four different stores.

At 8:15 we boarded our shuttle for a trek into the wild. I hoped we would see a bear, but we never did. However, we did see majestic bald eagles as well as leaping salmon struggling to make it upstream so they could spawn and then die. Our first stop was a waterfall tucked into a wooded area (See the picture above). We explored the area for about 10 minutes, then boarded the bus for our second stop where we saw the salmon and bald eagles from a great vantage point. Then we traveled into Saxman, a native village made popular by the abundance of totem poles. We actually saw the carving house as well as the tribal meeting place. We weren't allowed to go into the tribal meeting place, but we could hear some sort of chanting coming from inside. It might have just been a recording, but it sounded impressive. Each totem pole tells a story. One particularly interesting pole is a ridicule pole of William Seward, the man who purchased Alaska for .02 an acre in the 1800's. He had been invited to 4 different potlatches – special meals where gifts are given to the honoree – by 4 different clans. Courtesy dictates that he should have given some sort of return gift within 2 years, but that didn't happen. So they carved him sitting on top of a ridicule pole. What a way to be memorialized just because you happened to have bad manners! As we left Saxman we saw a tall tree with a bald eagle nest complete with mother and babies. (It took binoculars to see the activity in the nest, but it was there!)

Back in town we visited Dolly's House. Dolly was a madame who moved to Alaska to make a living in the world's oldest profession. She and her "soiled doves" even had a "married men's path" to the back door of the house. It was such a sad story – I asked the hostess for more information about Dolly, and she told us that she was abused from the time she was 6 until she was 11. The love of her life was money. Keith and I both felt so sad as we left. We continued down the Ketchikan boardwalk, visiting various little shops along the way. Around 1:00 we came back to the ship for lunch in the Horizon buffet. We were thrilled to find flowers from my dad waiting for us in our room. What a delightful anniversary treat! I took a few minutes to call my dad to thank him, then we went back out or some more shopping. We had to be back on the ship by 4:00 when we set sail for Juneau.

At dinner we celebrated our anniversary with our tablemates, Roz, Elliot and Greg. We got a bottle of wine and toasted our 25 amazing years together. Roz and Elliot recently celebrated their 52^nd anniversary, so it was a joy to share this time with them. At the end of the meal, our waiter brought us a small chocolate cake courtesy of the Captian for our anniversary. We were too stuffed to even think about eating it, so we brought it back to our room to enjoy later. After dinner we went to Motor City, a musical production in the Vista Lounge celebrating the history of Motown. Then we came back to our room to finish our celebration!

Cruising Through 25 Years Together, Part 1

2009-07-06T23:02:00.004-05:00

June 30 was my 25^th anniversary. We just celebrated it with an Alaskan cruise on the Star Princess. Twenty-five years ago I was a 24 year old English teacher who felt called to be a pastor's wife embarking on the journey of a lifetime. I met my husband Keith in a summertime seminary class. I had decided to begin working on a Master's in Counseling. The minute he walked in the classroom the first day I noticed him…in fact, I had a pretty strong reaction when I first laid eyes on him: "Oh no, Lord, You wouldn't dare!" In my defense I have to tell you that it was a windy day in Memphis, and he was already starting to lose his hair, so he had allowed the hair on the top of his head to grow a little longer, and the wind had it standing straight up so he looked sort of like a blue-eyed, suntanned mad scientist. Of course he smoothed the hair down, and after class he made a beeline to meet me. I wasn't overly impressed, so when I saw my roommate's (happily married) brother in the hall, I greeted him enthusiastically. Turns out Keith was good friends with him, too!

After that less than auspicious beginning, he began sitting with me in chapel every day, then waiting to have lunch with me. Now if you know my husband, you know he likes to eat. I had another hour long class after chapel and before lunch, so that meant he had to wait an hour to eat. The guy was pretty committed to getting to know me, I guess! After a couple of weeks of this, he finally asked me out on Tuesday for the following Saturday. I said yes only because I had promised the Lord I would never say "Yes" to a first date with a guy who didn't love Him, and I'd never say "No" to a first date with a guy who did! Be careful what kind of promises you make to God!! I spent the rest of the week dreading the date. Finally on Friday I decided not to worry about it anymore. After all, it was just one date…then I would fulfill my promise to God and be done with it. I wasn't going to marry the guy!

A funny thing happened. After I let go of my dread, I actually began to sort of look forward to getting to know Keith better. After all, he did seem like a nice guy, even though I wasn't interested in being anything but his friend. Saturday came, and he picked me up for our date to the Memphis zoo. He showed up in shorts and a polo and looked pretty good. In fact, he looked awfully good in shorts! As we walked around the zoo, we talked non-stop about our backgrounds, our testimonies, our dreams for the future. I found myself enjoying him more than I had imagined possible. After the zoo he took me to a sidewalk café in downtown Memphis where we continued our comfortable conversation. He took me home early because he had to work that evening as a security guard. Did I mention how handsome he looked in his security guard uniform??

Over the next couple of weeks we saw each other at school all the time. Now I didn't feel frustrated when he waited for me at lunch time. And I didn't try to escape from him before chapel so I could sit with somebody else. If I was studying in the library, he would send a paper airplane my way, or I would find a sweet note tucked into my books. I was really starting to fall for him! Just two weeks after our first date, he took me to Victoria Station, a fancy restaurant housed partially in an old train. It was obvious to both of us that we were certainly past the "just friends" stage. That night he kissed me for the first time. We made plans for me to accompany him the next morning to the little church in eastern Arkansas where he preached each Sunday. Then he would attend my singles group at the megachurch I attended in Memphis. Sunday was a terrific day for both of us (except for the fact that he wore plaid pants straight out of the 70's – I had a lot of work to do on his wardrobe still). That night he told me he loved me. In shock, I said the first thing that came to my mind, "My mind and my will are there, but I just don't feel that in my heart."

His immediate response, "Don't worry, you will. Just give it time," wasn't the least bit arrogant. It simply belied the confidence that he felt about our growing relationship.

So I left Memphis that night (I had an apartment there with 2 roommates) to return to Hughes, Arkansas (an hour away where I lived in a teacherage.) I spent the drive praying about Keith and our relationship. There were two other young men who were very important to me at that time. The first, Don, had sort of been my boyfriend my sophomore year of college. After his graduation, we had stayed close, but hadn't seen each other for several years. I was preparing to go visit him in Arizona for the Fourth of July. The second, Kyle, had been my best friend and partner in crime our senior year of college. He had just finished getting his MBA and was moving to Memphis in two days where he had landed a job with a large accounting firm. I'd had feelings for Kyle for a long time and had hoped that something might happen to take our friendship to the next level after he moved to Memphis. I hoped he felt the same way, but didn't really know if he did or if we'd just remain in the "friend zone" forever. As I drove and prayed that evening, I realized that what I had told Keith was true. In my mind I knew that he was exactly what I needed in a husband, and I knew that I was called to be married to a minister, and neither Don nor Kyle were headed into the ministry. So I made a commitment to the Lord that I would cancel my trip to Arizona and I would tell Kyle when he arrived in 2 days that I was dating somebody seriously.

I can't begin to describe what happened next. It was like something out of a cheesy romance novel, except it was real, and it was happening to me. Immediately after I made that commitment to the Lord, I was overwhelmed with the most amazing, incredible, dizzying sensation of being in love that I have ever experienced. It was almost a physical reaction to the realization that I was truly head over heals in love with Carl Keith Lorick! I must tell you that I have never felt anything like it before or since that night, but that night as I prayed the Lord certainly made sure that I felt in my heart what my mind and will already knew.

I was so excited! I couldn't wait to tell the whole world, especially Keith, that I loved him. On Mondays we didn't have class because, like Keith, many of the seminary students preached in small churches on Sunday. So I had invited him to dinner that night at the teacherage. Our wonderful cook, Victoria, was making a special meal because she knew love was in the air. That day I visited the nursing home in West Memphis where I occasionally went to minister. One precious little lady was always such an encouragement to me. As I told her my story, she rejoiced with me, and urged me to always keep Christ first and let Him lead. Driving back to Hughes where I lived, I prayed again about Keith. I went through I Corinthians 13 in my mind and compared Paul's ideal of love to what I felt. I thought I was in pretty good shape, but I still didn't have peace in my heart about telling Keith I Ioved him. It was really distressing, but then the Lord reminded me of the promise I had made to Him my freshman year of college.

Towards the end of my freshman year I had begun dating a wonderful, Godly young man named Tim. He really kept Christ at the center of our friendship, and I fell hard for him. That summer I longed to hear from him more than I did, and when we returned to school in the fall, it was obvious that he didn't feel about me the way I felt about him. In fact before long he began dating someone else. I was devastated. (He married her, and they have had a wonderful life and ministry. As I look back now, I'm so thankful that Tim taught me to wait for God's best, and I'm thankful that he has enjoyed life with God's best for himself!) During that time I spent a lot of time on my knees. One night when I was still a freshman, I was in my room praying he would call and trying to keep my eyes on the Lord. It was then that I read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 which talks about two being better than one and the "threefold cord" that isn't easily broken. It was as if God burned those verses into my very being telling me that I needed to wait on Him to bring me the right mate for me. I acquiesced, promising Him that I would wait on Him (it got awfully hard at times). I even promised Him that I wouldn't marry anyone until God gave him the same verses.

So here I was, eager to tell Keith I loved him, but constrained by the promise I had made to God. I knew that I could rush in with my declaration of love and do things my way, or I could wait on the Lord and let Him lead. Fortunately I had enough common sense to wait on Him. Keith arrived, and we had a wonderful dinner after which we went into the parlor. We were finally alone, and I just gazed into his eyes. He could tell something had changed. I began, "I want to tell you I love you, but I just can't quite yet."

His logical response, "Why not?"

"Well, there's this verse that God gave me, and I'm sure He'll give it to you, but I just have to wait," I stuttered somewhat awkwardly.

"Is it in the Old Testament?" He immediately asked.

I thought, "Great, we're going to play 20 questions now!" But I simply said, "Uh, yeah…"

"Is it Ecclesiastes 4:9?"

The fireworks exploded as it sunk into my consciousness that out of the millions of verses in the Bible, Keith had just identified the ONE VERSE that God had given me 6 years earlier. Remember how I said that we didn't have school on Mondays? Keith regularly met with a friend to pray every Monday morning. That morning Keith had been telling his friend about our growing relationship and his feelings for me. His friend had prayed our verse during their time together, and Keith, struck by the power of those words, had gone home to look up the words in his concordance and figure out what verse it was. So it was fresh on his mind. He had planned to share it with me at some point in a letter, but when I mentioned that there was a special verse, he just knew that was it!

Now I must admit it takes a lot of faith to say, "Okay, God, I won't get married until you give some guy this verse." But I knew that if I tried to pick out my own husband, I might really botch it. I wanted to get married one time and spend a lifetime loving one man, building a family with him, and growing old together. I never wanted either of us to be able to second guess our decision or even consider divorce as an option. By allowing God to be my Heavenly Matchmaker, I got all that and so much more!

We met and fell in love in May of 1983. In October his cousin got married in South Carolina. I had met his parents, brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew, but not the extended family. Keith turned 27 in July after we met, but his mother made comments about not getting married until he finished seminary. Hah! Not likely! (But I couldn't tell her that!)
The week before we left for the wedding, Keith took me to dinner at a revolving restaurant high over Memphis called Windows on the River. He suggested I dress up. Though it wasn't particularly cold, I noticed he was wearing his overcoat – rather odd, I thought. We enjoyed a lovely meal seated adjacent to the piano player, then he excused himself for a moment. When he returned they brought dessert: a fruit volcano with dry ice smoke – very elaborate. When the smoke cleared Keith began, "Glenni, I've really enjoyed these past months with you. I love you and I believe God has brought us together. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" I think he dropped to one knee, but it was all such a blur! Before I knew it the most beautiful marquis diamond ring was sparkling on my finger, and I was crying tears of joy. I think the whole restaurant knew what was happening by now, and the piano player played a love song as we embraced and Keith dried my tears! (Okay, I admit, writing about it now after all these years still brings the tears…am I not incredibly blessed??)

The next week I traveled with him to South Carolina as his fiancée. His whole family was ecstatic! We had 8 months to plan our wedding. During that time we attended pre-marital counseling with our pastor Billy Spink of Riveroaks Reformed Pres. Church in Memphis. As the time drew closer for our wedding, we found that we had to spend less and less time alone together! We were so excited about getting married for so many reasons, but the fact that we hadn't slept together certainly increased the anticipation! Finally June 30, 1984, arrived, and we entered into a lifelong covenant with each other and with God. We've had lots of highs and lows, but it has been a remarkable journey so far, and we still have a long way to go!

Repeat After Me: "I Don't Do Guilt!"

2009-06-18T23:04:00.004-05:00

Why are moms so prone to guilt? In the last week I've had a couple of long conversations with mothers who were feeling tremendous amounts of guilt. Interestingly enough, both of them had to do with breastfeeding (not surprising, actually, since I'm a lactation consultant.)

One mother needed to talk to me because she was struggling with her decision about when to wean. She's a terrific mom...really sort of a superwoman, like so many moms I see every day. She is mothering a precious baby, working at a demanding job, and taking care of home and hearth. She struggles with feeling guilty about the time she takes at work to pump, even though her job performance continues to be excellent. Her husband feels like pumping might be draining her and has suggested she wean. She doesn't really want to wean quite yet, but feels bad about not taking hubby's advice after she asked him for it. What a conundrum.
As an IBCLC, my job is to support and encourage breastfeeding mothers, but each mother has to make her own decision about how long she's going to nurse. So instead of trying to give her a bunch of options, though we did talk some about management, I focused on guilt. I asked her to make a point of telling herself each morning, "I don't do guilt!" I know she'll make the right decision for herself and her baby, but she doesn't need to feel guilty if that decision involves weaning before baby is a year old!

The second mother had lactation failure with her first baby. She has been pumping and trying very hard to develop a supply, but yesterday she brought her pump back. Depression has set in, and she feels terribly guilty for giving up. To make matters worse, she speaks very little English, and her doctor, who speaks no Spanish, insists she use a formula that doesn't seem to agree with her baby. She has begun taking antidepressants, but still feels overwhelmed by guilt. It doesn't help that her peers tell her the reason her baby is small is because she's not nursing.
I think it would be very wrong for me to add to her guilt at this point. Instead, my job is to encourage her because she has tried so hard. I told her that breastfeeding is NOT what makes her a good mother. I reminded her that she was the expert on her baby, not the doctor and encouraged her to talk with the doctor (via translator) again. I don't know how much good I did, but I told her the same thing I told Mom 1: Tell yourself daily, "I don't do guilt."

It's taken me 49 years to learn this myself. I've done guilt all my life. My dad and stepmom spent years trying to help me learn the "I don't do guilt" lesson. It finally sunk in (more or less). Life is just too short to waste it on guilt. Unless a mother is truly a monster (like the Alabama mom who set her house on fire with her child inside), there just isn't any need for her to feel guilty. We all learn as we go, and children are unbelievably forgiving (at least before they become teens).

So if you are letting others make you feel guilty about breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, about co-sleeping or not co-sleeping, about working outside the home or not going back to your job, STOP! Repeat after me: "I DON'T TO GUILT!"

Congress Considers BF Promotion Act

2009-06-15T23:43:00.002-05:00

On June 11, 2009, Representative Carolyn B. Maloney (NY) and Senator Jeff Merkley (OR) introduced the Breastfeeding Promotion Act in both houses of Congress. The purpose of this bill is to provide a unified national policy to keep mothers, their children, and their communities healthy. In the past, a similar bill has been presented to the House, but this is the first time the bill has been introduced in the Senate.

The United States Breastfeeding Committee has posted contact information so that interested parties can let their representatives and senators know they want to see this bill passed.

The Breastfeeding Promotion Act (H.R. 2819, S. 1244) includes five provisions:

1. Amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect breastfeeding women from being fired or discriminated against in the workplace.
2. Provides tax incentives for businesses that establish private lactation areas in the workplace, or provide breastfeeding equipment or consultation services to their employees.
3. Provides for a performance standard to ensure breast pumps are safe and effective.
4. Allows breastfeeding equipment and consultation services to be tax deductible for families (amends Internal Revenue Code definition of "medical care").
5. Protects the privacy of breastfeeding mothers by ensuring they have break time and a private place to pump (applies to employers with 50 or more employees, see text of legislation for details).

If you want to read the full text of the bill, you can do so here.

In light of President Obama's speech today calling for increased attention to prevention of disease, this is the perfect time for this bill to receive widespread attention. The well-documented health benefits of breastfeeding are a crucial component of a prevention-based medical model. Make sure your congressional delegates move to embrace this bill!

Time for Another Giveaway

2009-06-12T09:29:00.003-05:00

It's time for another Conservative Granola Mommies blog giveaway! The magic number this time is 60! As of this writing we have 42 followers. When we hit 60 followers for our blog we are giving away....

Are you ready for this??

Do you really want to know what the giveaway is this time?

As you may recall, our last giveaway was Babylegs. That's not a bad giveaway. Everybody loves Babylegs. They make a great fashion statement and keep little knees from getting carpet burn when baby is learning to crawl. Plus they're just so darn cute!

But this giveaway is much more than a cute fashion statement! Because I want to do all I can to promote the wonderful moms on the Sling & Swaddle journey, we are giving away a Miracle Blanket!

As soon as we have 60 followers, we will draw the name of our winner and announce it here as well as on Twitter.
So get busy helping us round up some new followers! Let's see if we can give this blanket away in the next 2 weeks (before I head off to Alaska for a week!)

Sling & Swaddle...It's Great for Mom and Baby!

2009-06-06T21:42:00.003-05:00

The Sling & Swaddle Journey has begun! 30 moms have been chosen to Tweet about their use of the Miracle Blanket and the Hotsling. This is an amazing way for moms throughout the Twitterverse to learn about the benefits of baby-wearing and the amazing Miracle Blanket.

Why Swaddle?
Newborns are used to being in the womb where movement is somewhat restricted. Swaddling helps them settle and sleep better. When my children were little we used a baby blanket and wrapped it snugly around them to help them sleep. Of course, they managed to work their arms out and would often startle themselves awake. Several companies have produced swaddlers. Some have velcro, but none that I have evaluated comes anywhere near the Miracle Blanket.
A mother/baby nurse from Huntsville Hospital told me about it after her second baby was born. She said I just had to get them in my store. So I called the company to find out more. I thought they sounded a little expensive. Since baby blankets haven't been very good sellers for us, I decided to pass. The company representative called me back and made me an incredible offer if I would just try them. My first order of 12 blankets arrived and sold out within a few weeks. We've just made our third order, and have a hard time keeping up with the demand.
Unlike other swaddlers on the market, the Miracle Blanket has no velcro, snaps, zippers or anything else. It simply uses an ingenious design and baby's own weight to keep baby securely swaddled. Moms love it and so do babies. Any parent who is longing for a good night's sleep would do well to invest in a Miracle Blanket!

Why Sling?
As babywearing has grown in popularity during the last decade, so have the types of slings and carriers. At A Nurturing Moment we carry several pouch slings: the Hotsling, The Peanut Shell, and the Organic Dittany Baby sling. Pouch slings usually hold babies from birth to about 35 pounds. When you purchase a pouch sling, it is best to try it on with baby. Ideally you should look for a store with personnel trained to help you find the right fit and teach you how to wear your baby.
Another kind of popular infant carrier is the Mei Tai infant carrier. Many parents like the versatility of being able to wear baby on the front or back. The Moby wrap allows the same versatility. However, some parents prefer the convenience of a two shoulder sling that you don't have to tie like the Baby K'Tan.
Colicky babies often settle when they are worn or swaddled. One of the greatest advantages of wearing your baby is the easy nursing access. I always encourage mothers to practice nursing in their sling, preferably in front of a mirror, so that they'll be comfortable when they go out and baby gets hungry. I remember nursing babies in grocery stores, in airports, in restaurants, in church, at Little League games...everywhere I went, I had my sling and a my baby's favorite fast food!
If you aren't a Twitterer, this would be a great time to jump on board. Follow us and follow the terrific moms on the Sling & Swaddle Journey.

Parenting Teens Can Be a (wonderful) Challenge

2009-06-02T13:40:00.005-05:00

I know most of my readers are still dealing with the issues of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and the amazing preschool years. I remember thinking how great it would be when my kids got older.We would have such great communication, and so much fun together!

Reality Check!
I do have pretty good communication with my adult daughter and also with my 18 year old son. But it wasn't always that way... When Daughter #1 was about 14, the going got really tough. It stayed tough for several years! She was the epitome of the rebellious preacher's kid! I cried when she graduated from her Christian high school mostly because I was so relieved that she hadn't gotten kicked out!
Son #1 has always been pretty compliant, although he does have a temper. During his high school years we often had to remind him to exercise "Godly self-control." He was wonderful to everybody else, but at home that temper could flare! Now that he's heading to college, though, I realize how much I'll miss him. He helps me out in so many ways. I'm sure I won't really know just how much of a help he is until August when he moves to Cullman!

Reality Check 2
Now Daughter #2 has hit the age where Daughter #1 became increasingly difficult. To make matters worse, Daughter #2 has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar syndrome. It is somewhat better now that she's on medication, but she still has highs and lows, and her mood can shift with no provocation at all. I know all teenage girls are hormonal and get moody, but being bi-polar makes it doubly challenging. When she is at a low point, I know she's hurting, but she lashes out at me with such vehemence that it breaks my heart.
I am slowly learning how to manage this awkward dance that we perform each day. When I need to address clothing, behavior or other issues with her, I wait until she's "up." And I have to do small doses. When we have to enforce consequences for behavior, we try to explain it when she's "up." But of course, the punishment (as she perceives it) sends her right back down. So I feel like I'm living on a roller coaster.
The good news is that she has a wonderful Christian psychiatrist, and next week we'll begin seeing a Christian counselor who will hopefully help us navigate this minefield. She once told me that someday we'd write a book together from both of our perspectives about what it's like being a bi-polar teen and being the mother of a bi-polar teen. We'll see.
I am so thankful that we established a strong bond in her early years. Sometimes I wonder how we'd survive if we didn't have that! It's that attachment that brings us back together when she's "up."

Son #2
Another thing I'm thankful for is the space between our kids. Daughter #1 survived the teen years and is helpful both to me and to her sister. Son #2 is just 10, so we don't have any teen stuff yet! Last night was particularly challenging, and Son #2 came downstairs to where I was sitting on the sofa. He saw my tears and just put his arms around me. I wonder if there is a magic potion that will keep him this sweet for the next 8 years??

The spring rush has arrived!

2009-05-16T09:55:00.003-05:00

I don't know about all of you, but my life has been hectic these past few weeks. Since the first of March, I have been out of town 6 times (a couple of those times were for five days), my husband has been on three business trips, my daughter has played through a season of soccer and has started on tee ball, my own softball season has started, my daughter's been going to school more than normal in preparation for the end of the year, the stormy weather has knocked a tree down into our garden and broken garden boxes and our greenhouse (and because it's been raining so much, we've had to try to fix it in spurts, so it's still not ready for us to garden!), we've celebrated five birthdays and an anniversary and Mother's day, and all the other stuff that comprises our normal lives.

And to top it all off, my allergies are bad enough that I've finally given in on taking allergy medicine, but the only medicine we have has made me feel exhausted constantly, and we haven't had the time to go to the store yet to get a different kind.

I'm tired.

But that is nothing new to any of you, I'm sure. I don't think mothers are not tired at any point in time for many years after their youngest are in diapers.

My kids are taking the rush tolerably well. My daughter, independent and out-spoken 4.5 year old that she is, has taken this all in stride and is just going about her merry way. The couple of trips I was gone for several days, she was a little whinier the day I got back, but otherwise she's been fine. I've been worried about my son who's 2.5 years old and still nursing, particularly with the travel and me being gone for so many days in a row. The first 5 day trip I took, he was fine when I came home, if a little clingier for a couple of days. The second 5 day trip I took, though, he didn't do as well at. His sleep patterns totally shifted, which was oh-so-much-fun. Luckily, by now we've gotten back to normal, and since we don't have any other long trips away planned until at least August, life will be normal for a while before I/we are gone again.

Of course, this isn't to say that life won't be hectic. Tomorrow we're all leaving for NC for a wedding my husband is in. We have another wedding next month. At some point we'll take a nice, relaxing (hah!) visit to the beach. We have another wedding in August, as well as a possible trans-Atlantic trip for me. I'm sure that we'll have pressure (not necessarily of the bad sort) to take the 14+ hour drive up to the in-laws since it'll have been a year in July since we've been up there. Whether or not we give in to the pressure is a different story.

But that's sort of the way we like it, I think. We do it every year - the hectic running around and never sitting down thing. It lasts from about March until December. I'm just glad that the kids go so easily with us. I think we're helped greatly with that because we co-slept with both of them, co-sleeping in hotel rooms is not something new to them, and extended nursing really helps my son. Despite the craziness of my travel schedule, he has come back to nursing every time I've gotten back from traveling. It might take him an hour, or even twelve, to ask to nurse again, but he has done so without fail. And while at one point, I couldn't wait to be done nursing, I find that it serves as a comfort and re-connection for both of us now when I come back after being gone for a few days. I definitely never thought that I would be a mother who nursed her child for several years, but it appears that I will be, given that my son turns 3 this summer.

Of course, it could be that he gets done this summer. All the travel may get him too busy, and we may just wake up one day and realize we haven't nursed in several days. He may potty train this summer, though I have no hopes for that. Who knows what other milestones he may reach this summer, or if he reaches any at all?

As always, I find myself looking forward to what the coming months will bring, and who we'll be when they're over.

Coping with Criticism about Breastfeeding

2009-05-15T23:03:00.002-05:00

"Why don't you just give that baby a bottle?"

"When are you going to stop nursing....he's starting to walk now!"

Comments like these can be very hurtful to a mother who is trying to do what is best for her baby. Sometimes friends or relatives are simply uninformed about the many benefits of breastfeeding. Or perhaps they may not understand how important it is to a mother to nurse. The sad fact is that even some doctors are not very well informed about breastfeeding. While they learn the basic anatomy and physiology of breastfeeding in medical school, they are often not taught how to support and encourage nursing mothers. If they don't have personal experience with breastfeeding, they may not be very supportive at all. Mothers need to think through their responses before they encounter this situation. In her article "Coping with Criticism about Breastfeeding" in Valley Babies magazine (Vol 3, No 1), Suzanne Rickman offers some excellent pointers.

The Critical Health Care Professional
Any time a health care professional suggests she wean, a mother should get a second opinion. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life, with continued breastfeeding for a year or as long thereafter as both mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization (WHO) actually recommends that mothers breastfeed for at least two years. So if a doctor or other health care professional expresses disapproval of a breastfeeding relationship, a mother can calmly explain the AAP and WHO recommendations. If the disapproval becomes harassment, she may need to find a new health care professional.

The Critical Friend
Sometimes a mother may feel pressure from friends to stop breastfeeding. If a close friend didn't have a positive breastfeeding experience, she may unwittingly discourage the new mother. The fact is that breastfeeding really can be very challenging in the early days. So if a woman is surrounded by friends who don't support her decision to nurse her baby, she may very well decide to give up. That's why it is important for expectant mothers who want to breastfeed to ally themselves with a good support group prior to giving birth. Then those mothers who have been successfully breastfeeding will be able to provide the necessary encouragement.
The Critical Family Member
It can be especially hard when a new mother receives criticism rather than support from her own family. If her mother didn't nurse, she may not understand why it's so important. When the criticism comes from a mother-in-law, it can be just as difficult. In a situation like this, the new father is a key player. He needs to run interference for his wife and protect her from discouraging members. He might even provide those critical relatives with some helpful resources.

The Annoying Stranger
When a stranger makes a comment about her breastfeeding, a mother has several options. She can ignore it, respond to it with tact, or get upset. Certainly, it is better to avoid the latter! Here are a few options for a tactful response:
• Use friendly humor. If someone says "How long are you going to nurse that baby?" You might respond with, "Oh, at least for the next five minutes."
• Be gentle, not defensive. Perhaps the critic has never seen a nursing mother. Maybe breastfeeding is something new. Realize that this might be the perfect opportunity to educate her about breastfeeding.
• Give a factual response. Explain the AAP recommendations. Give the critic some food for thought.

Human Milk in the NICU

2009-05-08T22:41:00.002-05:00

In February of 2009 the National Association of Neonatal Nurses Board of Directors published a position statement entitled "The Use of Human Milk and Breastfeeding in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit."
Based on a body of research which clearly demonstrates the superiority of human milk for premature infants, this position statement clearly enunciates optimal guidelines which should all NICU nurses should follow.

Responsibility toward the Mother
It is critically important, according to this position statement, that mothers be provided a hospital-grade double breastpump and pump kit. They should be encouraged to pump every 3 hours for optimal milk production. Keeping a pumping log will help both mother and healthcare provider to make assessments and adjustments. Receiving the mother's colostrum helps prepare the immature intestine by coating it with Immunoglobulin A. Fat content is an important factor when looking at the milk a mother pumps for her preterm baby. The paper recommends the use of a crematocrit to determine the fat content in order to determine how much human milk fortifier might be necessary to provide the caloric value necessary for optimal growth and development.

Responsibility toward the Infant
Obviously the neonate is the nurse's primary patient. Studies show that even a preterm baby as young as 28-30 weeks can demonstrate rooting and areolar grasp and latching behavior. Skin to skin exposure has been shown to have a myriad of benefits. After pumping a mother can allow her baby to nuzzle and lick her empty breast. The authors of the position paper recommend the use of a nipple shield to help the premature infant suckle more effectively and obtain more milk in early feeds.

The publication of this position paper is an important step in validating what many NICU nurses already knew. As research-based evidence continues to mount about the amazing benefits of breastmilk for at-risk infants, hopefully we will see more and more breastfeeding support in NICU's everywhere!

Breastfeeding Claims Under Attack...Again

2009-05-03T19:56:00.004-05:00

In an article published on abc.com on April 27, Lauren Cox asserts that claims about the benefits of breastfeeding are overblown. This comes about a month after that Atlantic article in which Hannah Rosen disputed the medical benefits of breastfeeding. I actually responded to the Atlantic article in a previous post.

This interesting timing of these 2 articles undermining the benefits of breastfeeding in such a short period of time makes me wonder what's up. I've thought of several possible reasons
1. Some mothers may feel pressured by the growing pro-lactation movement and are reacting to that perceived pressure in writing.
2. Maybe the artificial human milk industry has done a pretty decent job of convincing the general public that breastmilk and infant formula are about equal.
3. Or perhaps, as I wrote in my previous post, the studies that do indeed show conclusive benefits are titled and the abstracts are written in such a way that artificial milk isn't depicted as a causative factor in multiple negative infant outcomes.

Whatever the reason, it is more important than ever that breastfeeding advocates rely on solid scientific evidence for every claim we make. The American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement, Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, contains 216 references to studies, scholarly articles, and public policy documentation dealing with the superiority of breastmilk over artificial milk for infants. While it may not be feasible to read every study in detail, a cursory review of this literature demonstrates overwhelming, objective evidence gathered in reproducible study conditions that repeatedly prove the inferiority of milk substitutes.

It is true that some mothers are unable to breastfeed for one reason or another. And some mothers do struggle with supply issues. A lact-aid with supplement can help. Nevertheless, there is an International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes which strictly prohibits many of the kinds of marketing which the large infant formula companies do in this country. Until the United States government decides to enforce this code, we will continue to see the systematic undermining of breastfeeding in this country. No doubt about it, our work is cut out for us! But we have science and nature on our side, and that's a winning combination!

Mom is Definitely Worth Celebrating!

2009-04-27T22:44:00.004-05:00

Several years ago Corina Dubois, an incredible mom with an entrepreneurial spirit, launched what has since become a national movement, Celebrate Mama! This event which is usually held on the weekend before Mother's Day is all about MOM and making her feel special. The cornerstone is the Mama Marketplace where vendors have a wide variety of creative gifts for Mother's Day. Events in many locations have a raffle. They may also have a donation box for a local charity. Many locations also provide entertainment throughout the day.

Huntsville's Celebrate Mama!
In Huntsville, AL (the home of A Nurturing Moment and Conservative Granola Mommies) Valley Babies magazine will be hosting the 2nd annual Huntsville Celebrate Mama! this coming Saturday. We have over 30 vendors in our Mama Marketplace which will be in the Westin Hotel at Bridge Street Town Centre. Beginning at 11:00 we will have entertainment in the mall area. Local celebrity Lee Marshall, founder of Kids to Love will be with us in the morning. Later in the day we will have performances by groups from The Little Gym, Musicology, and Grace Lutheran School. Riviera fitness will get us pumped up and into shape! You can see the full schedule here.

Silent Auction to Benefit Choose Life
One of the key components of the Huntsville Celebrate Mama! is a silent auction to benefit Choose Life of North Alabama. Auction items include a night at the Marriott Shoals, Silpada Earrings, a Strasburg outfit, a home visit from a lactation consultant, gift baskets for moms, piano tuning and dozens of other great items! This year we are also beginning the Christian Schools for Life program. Grace Lutheran School is auctioning a full tuition scholarship, and Wall Highway Baptist Mother's Day Out is auctioning a partial tuition scholarship for next year.

If you live in North Alabama, I hope we'll get to see you Saturday. Stop by the Valley Babies table to say hi!

One Mom's EC Story

2009-04-24T17:31:00.001-05:00

We have a guest blogger today, Beth Partain. I hope you enjoy her story about elimination communication.
The first time that I heard about EC was from a pregnant friend who was considering trying it with her child. My response was completely negative, there was shock, disbelief, and I am pretty sure that I said “that will never work”. To my friend, I am very sorry that I was not more supportive; all I can say is that I am working on it.
I did not give EC another thought until I was pregnant several months later with my first child. I scoured the internet for all the information that I could find. Then I did what every good American woman does, I bought a book. After reading it and discussing it with my hubby we decided to give it a try. The concept seemed very easy and very relaxed. I tried to talk about it with my friends and family, but I experienced the same reactions that I gave to my friend. In fact, the almost outrage from others that I would try something other than the traditional disposables until three, led me not to talk about it with anyone until my child was six months old.
So now that my daughter is 18 months old and potty trained. I feel like I can finally talk about EC and share some of the ups and downs of our experience with others. So how did we do it? By trusting our instincts and doing what worked for us at the pace that worked for us.

Let me start at the beginning.
After our daughter was born I completely forgot about EC for the first three weeks or so because it was hard enough to figure out how to work in my shower. Then one morning while laying in bed with hubby and baby, she pooped while sitting up leaned against my legs. While she was pooping I said “go potty.” Not the traditional words used to cue a baby, but it worked for us. The next several mornings the same thing happened and any time that we knew she was pooping we would put her in a sitting position with her diaper on and cue her by saying “go potty.” Daddy note: As she went and even today, we reward her by clapping.
I would say about two or three weeks later she was having bad gas pains and was generally unhappy, so after rubbing her tummy and bicycling her legs and nothing really happening, we put her in a sitting position and cued her. It was the light bulb moment! She looked at us and just started trying to poop--and she did! The excitement level in our house that day was like going to Disney world. We would continue to cue her when we knew that she had to potty, but that is all that we did until she was about six months old.
When she was almost six months and sitting with assistance we started putting her on the little potty when we thought that she needed to poop. I have to say that the first time she pooped in her potty we were ready to rent a billboard and announce it to the world. I don't think that “excited” explains how we felt. We concentrated only on poops thinking that it would be easier for all involved. It seemed like that was all it took and within 2 weeks she was pooping on the potty 9 out of 10 times that she pooped. That is how we continued for the next 7-8 months. Daddy note: I often tell people that no matter what they think about EC, at least my little girl goes poo in the potty and I am not stuck changing a smelly diaper. Occasionally we would catch a pee but it was not something that we worried about. I had in my mind that we would really get serious when she started walking, and for her that happened between 14 and 15 months. After that, when we got serious about it, it was only 2 weeks before she was having almost no accidents. At about 15 months she was pretty much potty trained, and wearing her big girl panties.
As we stand today we have good and bad days. Like any toddler we do have accidents but not so many that I feel like I need to put her in diapers anymore. The exception is that she does still wear a diaper at night - more for my convenience - and she does wake up many mornings dry. We have been very pleased with the relaxed nature of this potty training method, and we do plan on using it on the next. There are a few tricks that we have learned in our journey that may make it easier the next time around.
I found that cloth diapers made it easier for both baby and me to tell when she was wet which helped tremendously. Also, when she has a cloth diaper on I am less lazy. I will get up and take her to the potty and not think, “Oh, she can just go in her diaper.”
I think that our daughter would have done great without diapers earlier if I had not been waiting on my self-imposed time table.

So now I do all the things that I scoffed at before, I am a baby wearing, cloth diapering, EC practicing, granola mommy. That's ok, it works for me.

Baseball Boy Snuggles

2009-04-20T23:12:00.005-05:00

Okay, I admit it, I'm fast approaching 50, and my nest is slowly but surely emptying. But we still have one who hasn't entered the foreign territory of Teendom quite yet. At 10 years of age, Child 4 is delightfully preoccupied with baseball, his fourth grade friends, Webelos, and Club Penguin. He can't wait for football sign-ups even though he will probably play as an "older, lighter" player in a younger category. That's simply a nice way of saying that he's just not a very big little guy! But there's a ton of heart tucked away in his little 65 pound frame! He idolizes his big brother who has always given 110% to every sport he's every played and seems to be following in those footsteps!

Nevertheless, when the weather gets bad, or he has a bad dream, or he just feels like a Mommy/Daddy fix, our 10 year old bundle of energy ends up snuggled right up next to us in our king-size bed. (Yes, we took Dr. Sears' advice that the best piece of baby furniture you can buy is a king-size bed! That was one of the smartest things we ever did!)

I've heard lots of moms wonder when they're going to get their kids out of their bed. I have to admit that there have been moments during the last 20 years when I longed to have my bed back to myself (with just my DH to snuggle)! And now we pretty much do have our wish. So that's what makes it so sweet when Child 4 comes in at 5:30 in the morning to get his snuggle fix.

If the truth be told, I think my DH will miss our baseball boy snuggles as much or more than I will when Child 4 decides he is too old for Mommy and Daddy snuggles. In fact, I've noticed that some nights when I work late and DH has gone to bed already, I go upstairs to find Child 4 snuggled right up to his Dad - and I suspect that was Dad's idea ("Why don't you just snuggle here with me a while, Buddy?") What a wonderful blessing to know he is growing up feeling secure and loved day and night. I'm so thankful that Dr. Sears taught us about the family bed. It has been a tremendous source of comfort, blessing and security for all four of our kids.

I guess once Child 4 decides he's too old...(I know that day isn't too far away) we'll have to hold out for Grandchild 1! Since we don't expect grandchildren in the foreseeable future, we'll have to hope and pray that Child 4 needs his baseball boy snuggles just a little longer!

Why Would Anybody Use Cloth Diapers??

2009-04-16T22:34:00.007-05:00

I must confess that there was a time - about 21 years ago - when I myself wondered this very thing. Then I gave birth to my first child and tried to make ends meet on my husband's salary as a youth pastor! Breastfeeding wasn't just a choice, it was a necessity because formula was way outside of our budget. We did buy disposable diapers, but felt like we were just throwing money away with every pack we purchased. By the time our second child was born I was a firm Attachment Parenting advocate. I began cloth diapering primarily to save money, but also because I had discovered the awful truth about disposable diapers and landfills!

The Disposable Diaper Dilemma
Did you know that it is against the law in most states to dispose of human waste in landfills? Concerns about bacteria and viruses entering the ground water supply have led to these laws. Yet every year 18 billion diapers end up in landfills! These diapers will sit there for the foreseeable future because their components are not biodegradable. Many people are concerned about the long-term effects of landfills. Of course, disposable diapers aren't the only non-biodegradable product entering landfills. But they certainly contribute to the problem.

The Cloth Diaper Solution

Today's cloth diapers are definitely NOT the diapers your mother used! So many cloth diapering options are available for moms today, and the clean up isn't nearly as bad as it was back when I was dunking diapers in the toilet to get rid of the solids before I dropped them into the diaper pail. You can choose from an all-in-one diaper that combines absorbancy with waterproof protection. Another option is a fitted diaper with a waterproof diaper liner over it. If you're thinking rubber pants, think again. Diaper covers today are attractive, lightweight and easy to use. The least expensive option is prefolded diapers with a diaper cover. The days of diaper pins are long gone. Savvy moms today use Snappis diaper fasteners, a practical fastener that uses grips to hook the diaper fabric and keep it securely in place.

When it comes to clean-up, the coolest option is the Bum Genius diaper sprayer which attaches to your toilet's plumbing. Another option is the bio-soft liner which allows you to simply flush your baby's bowel movements. Cloth diapers need to be washed in hot water with soap that is free from all additives. Occasionally they will need to be stripped, as well.

Getting Started
When I began cloth diapering, I just went to the store and bought inexpensive prefolds and diaper covers that didn't always keep the wet in. Later a friend introduced me to fitted diapers and gave me a cloth diaper baby shower before my third baby. But I didn't know much about caring for my diapers. Moms today have so much information available at their fingertips. Diaperpin.com is a terrific resource for parents who are beginning to explore cloth diapering options. Many moms really enjoy the community of cloth diapering moms that they meet at diaperswappers.com. A final resource that offers a wealth of information about cloth diapering is Diaperjungle.com. Just one quick word of warning... cloth diapering can be addictive! With so many cute patterns and great diapers to choose from, once you start, you just might not be able to stop!

Daniel Is an Adult!

2009-04-15T21:10:00.004-05:00

Today Daniel, my 2nd child, turned 18. In the state of Alabama that means that he can now be drafted, go to big boy jail, and go to the mall unescorted (here in Huntsville) on weekend nights. He still can't own property or enter into a contractual agreement of any kind. And he can't drink...which isn't really a big deal because he doesn't really want to (and plenty of kids his age are getting DUI's right and left).

I've thought a lot about Daniel today and have come to the conclusion that all I can really do is thank God for the way he has turned out. Every time I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said that he really didn't need anything. He's content with what he has. That's a lesson a lot of adults need to learn! He's getting a new laptop for graduation next month, so we're settling for clothes and shoes (despite his protests that he doesn't need anything) for his birthday presents.

Daniel was our first child to experience the benefits of Attachment Parenting from the time he was born. He nursed almost immediately after the midwife delivered him. He slept with us, we wore him, and he even got to homeschool on year when we were home on furlough! He's been in Christian schools most of his life and has been blessed with terrific friends. But honestly, we've seen the Lord's hand on Daniel since he was very little.

He was only 2 1/2 when he asked me if he could know for sure he was going to Heaven. That morning he prayed asking Jesus to be His Savior, then ran into wake up his big sister to tell her the big news! He was 10 when he committed his life to the Lord's service. He plans to study International Affairs so that he can support himself and serve the Lord abroad.

As we approach graduation, I realize that his story is only just beginning. I can't wait to see how the plot twists and turns. I know there will be amazing ups and downs. But through it all, I have the confidence that He has a secure faith in God that has been shaped throughout his life thanks to the Biblical principles of AP!

My 17 yr. Old Son's Story

2009-04-11T00:19:00.008-05:00

Today's blog is a little different...I didn't write it, my son Daniel did. He often texts stories to a friend of his as she's going to sleep. Last night she needed to stay awake for a while, so she asked for a suspenseful story. As he began texting, he wasn't sure where the story would go. When he got home last night he told me the story and I asked him to share it here with you. I hope you enjoy it...and yes, this boy is definitely a product of AP!!!

A sage green truck sped down an old road to the country. The lights were off and the driver was being very quiet. He pulled up to a dark red barn and looked around before uncovering the truck bed. He pulled out seven boxes and buried the contraband in the straw.
The police caught up with him six miles down the road. The officer in charge said that if he told them where he hid the Bibles and gave up his Christian brothers he could live; the man smiled and replied, "For me to live is Christ; to die is gain." They pulled him out on the side of the road and beat him. He prayed to God and praised Him for allowing him to die the same day his Savior did. The officer walked over, shot him in the heart, then kicked him in the side.
The next day the police officer who killed the man opened up his file of paper work and on the the top of the stack was Romans 12. Every day after that a new piece of paper appeared on his desk; each paper was a sheet out of the Bible. This kept happening until one day he read that if we acknowledge Christ in front of men, He will acknowledge us in front of the Father. Knowing it would cost him his life, he preached to the whole police station. Forty-three days after the man with the Bible was killed, the Great Commission was once again being fulfilled following 13 years of suppression by a godless regime.

Attachment Parenting, Trust and Good Friday

2009-04-10T22:35:00.002-05:00

I've done a lot of reflecting today on what Good Friday means. First and foremost is the obvious significance of this day to all who embrace the Christian faith. We remember the suffering and sacrifice of our Savior as he experienced utter separation from God the Father while he hung on the cross.

However, as an attachment parenting advocate, my thoughts today wandered beyond the obvious Good Friday implications. I recalled the first book I ever read by Dr. William Sears, Christian Parenting and Childcare. One of the things that grabbed my attention 20 years ago was his assertion that parents who teach their children to trust by meeting their needs during infancy are laying the foundation for a lifelong trust in their Heavenly Father. My first child was 6 months old, and we had been following parenting advice that led us to leave her in her crib crying when it was bedtime. Don't get me wrong...she had nursed; I would sing to her and pray with her, but then I'd lay her down and the screaming would begin. I was so afraid of spoiling her or letting her manipulate me that I wouldn't pick her back up. So she would cry in the nursery, and on the other side of the wall, I would sob in my bedroom. It was awful! Dr. Sears' words gave me the freedom I needed to trust my instincts and soothe her to sleep. Before long we were co-sleeping, and the rest is history!

As subsequent babies arrived, we practiced the wonderful principles we had learned from Dr. Sears from the time they were born. We met needs and taught them to trust their ability to communicate with us. It is interesting to note that as our first child went through her teenage years, we had serious trust issues. Our second child will be 18 this week, and although he isn't perfect, he's never given us reason not to trust him. Now that our third child - another girl - is in her teens we are seeing the benefits of attachment parenting with her, too.

For a Christian parent, the greatest joy of all is seeing your children follow the Lord. I'm convinced that Dr. Sears is right on target when he says we're laying the foundation for a life of trust in God. My second child can't really remember a time when he didn't trust the Lord. His faith has grown and matured as he has grown, but He has always trusted. Child 3 is strong in her faith, too. It's important to her to please the Lord. Child 4 is only 10, but we see strong evidence of faith in him, too.

If I could change one thing about my parenting, I would give my precious firstborn daughter the same trust advantage that her siblings have. I do believe the verse that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." We have sought to give all our kids a strong foundation of faith, and I believe that ultimately all our kids will live their lives for the Lord. But daughter 1 missed out on those crucial first 6 months of trust-building, so it may just take a little longer! Nevertheless, the Resurrection which we will celebrate on Sunday fills my heart with hope!

Mom to Mom Support

2009-04-06T23:42:00.003-05:00

Why is it so important for new mothers to get support from other mothers? I'd love to hear your opinions on this question, but I'm going to offer several reasons why I think every new mom needs strong peer support.

It Helps the Learning Curve
No doubt about it, becoming a mother definitely entails a pretty significant learning curve. You can take a breastfeeding class, a parenting class, and even an infant health and safety class, but that's no substitute for the on-the-job experience you get once baby is actually here! Being around other mothers who have already been where you are helps in several ways. First, you learn by watching them. You learn what works and what doesn't work. Although every baby is different, you may pick up techniques that will work with your baby. Also, as you develop relationships with other mothers, you build a resource network of people you can go to for advice in various situations. Finally, as your own mothering skills grow, you begin to find that you are able to help other mothers. The sense of well-being you receive from helping someone else may even help you maintain a healthy sense of emotional well-being.

It May Help Alleviate PostPartum Depression
Many women experience a day or two of "Baby Blues," but some women actually enter into a full-blown postpartum depression or PPD. The combination of hormonal changes with new stresses in her life may predispose some women to depression. Participation in a Mom to Mom Support Group may not completely prevent PPD; however, it may help to alleviate some of the symptoms and lead to a quicker recovery. Isolation only makes depression worse; so mothers who interact with other new moms generally have an easier time recovering.

It Helps You Meet Other Women Who Share your Life Circumstances
Finding a Mom to Mom Support group helps you build friendships with other women who are at the very same place in life where you are. If you have a baby before your friends do, you may find that you just don't have as much in common with them after the birth. You might even realize that you long for the company of other women who are also experiencing motherhood. In a Mom to Mom Group, you can meet a variety of women and figure out whom you want to get to know better.

Finding a Group
There are several ways to find a local support group. Depending upon your community, one or more of the following might work for you.
1. Ask other mothers. When you meet another mom, find out if she is part of a group. If you're outgoing, you might even approach other moms in the park or library to begin a conversation.
2. Look at your local community calendar. Do you have a TV news station? How about a local parenting magazine? Usually these media outlets have calendars which list events in the community.
3. Find a La Leche League group. La Leche League is the largest international breastfeeding support program. If you are nursing, you'll receive a wealth of information, encouragement and support from La Leche League. This website will help you locate a local group.
4. Find a MOPS group. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. This national organization has meetings for mothers of infants through pre-schoolers. You can click here to locate your nearest group.
5. Go to Meetup.com to see if there are any local meetup groups for moms in your area. Possible groups include Mommy Milk Meeup, New and Expectant Parents Meetup and Attachment Parenting Meetup. Most meetup groups have a message board moderated by the organizer where you can give and receive great advice.

If you find that you're having a tough time getting yourself motivated to get out the door with your baby, then that's a sure sign you REALLY need to do just that! So find a way to meet other moms, drop your baby into a sling, and off you go...remember, you're doing this for your own mental health! After all, doesn't your baby deserve the healthiest mom possible?

Let's Give Away Some Baby Legs!

2009-04-02T12:26:00.003-05:00

I'm really enjoying blogging. I love to write. In fact, I'm working on getting my first book published: Breastfeeding: God's Amazing Design for Moms and Babies But that's another blog for another time!

We started the Conservative Granola Mommies Blog because that really seems to be our niche at A Nurturing Moment. We have a good assortment of slings and cloth diapers. We promote Attachment Parenting. Since I'm a lactation consultant, we obviously support, promote and encourage breastfeeding; in fact, we're always adding fun new accessories for breastfeeding moms. So we thought it would be fun to reach out into cyberspace and connect with other moms who are doing some of the same things. We're not fanatical or rabid; we just want to help all moms learn to trust the wonderful maternal instincts that God gave them!

Over the last couple of months, it's been exciting to see our webstore grow and to have new friends following our blog. So we decided to have a contest. Once we have 30 followers, we'll put everybody's name in a bowl and give away a pair of Bum Genius Baby Legs to one lucky winner.

Help us spread the word about Conservative Granola Mommies, and let's see if we can't give those Baby Legs away this weekend!

DHA in Infant Formula

2009-03-28T10:33:00.001-05:00

A report released last year by the Cornucopia Institute, a Wisconsin based group devoted to fighting for the family-based farm, raises some very serious questions about the safety of the DHA and ARA that are added to many infant formulas. Much of the concern comes from the way in which these additives are produced in the laboratory setting.

What Is DHA and Why Is it Important?

DHA stands for docosahexaenoic acid. It is a long chain Omega 3 fatty acid which occurs naturally in breastmilk, in many cold water fish, in eggs, and in some algae and fungi. It can be synthesized in the liver, from another Omega 3 fatty acid that is found in foods like walnuts and canola oil. It is also found in the grey matter of the brain. Many researchers believe that the presence of DHA in the infant diet optimizes brain development.

What is ARA and Why Is it Important?

ARA stands for arachidonic acid. It is a long chain Omega 6 fatty acid which also occurs naturally in breastmilk as well as in some meats and in eggs. Like DHA, it is also found in the brain, and is considered to be a key component for optimal brain development. If DHA is added to infant formula without ARA, the aomount of ARA inthe infant's tissues actually decreases. For that reason, these two fatty acids are always added together.

How Are These Acids Created in the Lab?

Martek Biosciences Corporation has patented a process to create both DHA and ARA in the laboratory setting. The problem is that the laboratory products are not the same as the naturally occurring products in human milk. In fact, the DHA that is added to formula is actually DHASCO (docosahexaenoic acid single cell oil), and the ARA is actually ARASCO (arachidonic acid single cell oil). They are strudctually different from the DHA and ARA that a breastfeeding infant receives.

DHASCO is created from algae grown in tightly controlled fermentation conditions in a solution of glucose and yeast. Then the oil is extracted using hexame, a toxic petroleum by-product that has been associated with disorders of the central nervous system. The hexane is then removed. What remains is only about 40-50% DHA in a dilution of sunflower oil.

ARASCO is extracted from soil fungus using a similar process. According the Martek documents hexane is used in the processing of ARASCO as well.

Do These Additives Improve Formula?

The makers of infant formulas like Lipil and Good Start are quick to say they do. In fact, they claim that formula is now more like breastmilk than ever before. Nevertheless, ongoing research fails to show a significant beneficial effect. In early documents marketing their DHASCO and ARASCO to the formula companies, they claimed that even if these additives didn't make a difference, they could be "widely incorporated into infant formulas, as a marketing tool...." (Quoted in International Baby Food Action Network (2004) Breaking the rules, stretching the rules 2004: evidence of violations of the international code of marketing of breastmilk substitutes and subsequent resolutions.” , edited by Yeong Joo Kean and Annelies Allain. Available online at http://www.ibfan.org/english/pdfs/btr04.pdf. Last accessed on July 17, 2007. Source of the quote: Martek Biosciences Corporation, Investment Thesis 1996.)

Do They Cause Any Harm?

According the the Cornucopia report, the FDA has received 98 reports of adverse effects in infants that have been attributed to the use of DHASCO and ARASCO fortified formulas. One of the most common complaints is intestinal problems characterized by diarrhea. Some babies have even suffered dehydration and been admitted to Neonatal Intensive Care Units as a result of their inability to tolerate this formula.

What Should the Consumer Do?

Ideally, every mother would breastfeed her baby. However, some mothers face real struggles with nursing or find themselves in a situation where they must use formula. It is wonderful to live in a country where safe infant formula is readliy available. Nevertheless, mothers must recognize that no formula will ever replicate all the qualities of breastmilk. A mother should talk with her pediatrician about any concerns she has. If she is using a DHASCO/ARASCO enhanced formula and notices any gastro-intestinal symptoms, she should immediately contact her doctor and change to a formula without these addititives.

Mothers must always remember that they are the first and most important advocate their children will ever have. When it comes to feeding time, a mother must be sure she is truly giving her baby the best possible nutrition. Perhaps the Cornucopia report will help mothers do just that!

Why I'm Homeschooling One Child

2009-03-24T22:28:00.004-05:00

We've always believed that each child is unique and has his or her own special set of needs. Over the years we've experienced a wide variety of school settings. About 17 years ago when my first baby was a preschooler, we decided we would definitely homeschool. We joined a wonderful local group designed for parents with young children who were planning to homeschool. I was a former high school English teacher, so when Daughter 1 began kindergarten, I expected her to sit still and complete the wonderful learning tasks I had designed. Unfortunately, she was the child who liked to do flips around the living room as she practiced her spelling words. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't understand very much about teaching young children, and it was frustrating for both of us.

We homeschooled through second grade, then we headed to Costa Rica for language school prior to going to Peru as missionaries.In Costa Rica Daughter 1 entered a very small Christian school which was part of the large missionary language school there. Son 1 began kindergarten there, and Daughter 2 was in their outstanding preschool program.

Exactly one year later we arrived in Lima, Peru, where our kids entered an even smaller school for missionary kids. Daughter 1 and Son 1 were both there. Daughter 2 attended a local preschool part time to improve Spanish acquisition. Then she went to a Peruvian/American Christian school for kindergarten. When we came home for furlough, all 3 were homeschooled; although at times it seemed more like "van-schooling" as we traveled all over the southeast.

Upon our return to Lima, Daughters 1 & 2 and Son 1 all returned to the MK school located near our house. We had a very close-knit school family, and the classes all had 2 grade-levels. By the time Daughter 1 hit high school, we felt she needed something different, so much to the chagrin of our co-workers, we placed her in a British/Peruvian school for girls which was quite challenging academically.

That decision didn't go over too well with our mission team, so we ended up back in the states where all 4 of our children entered a Christian school, and I began teaching again. Several years ago Daughter 1 graduated, and Son 1 graduates in May. However, I realized that Daughter 2 was miserably unhappy there. Despite being involved in cheerleading and making good grades, she was caught in that awful phase that all middle schoolers face. She begged me for over a year to homeschool her, and after much prayer, I realized that was exactly what she needed. So at Christmas break, we made the change.

Her whole outlook on life has changed. We have a great math teacher who comes once a week and a local meteorologist who teaches her science. A couple of days a week she brings her books into work with me and "store-schools." After completing her assignments, she learns skills that most 14 year olds won't learn any time soon. She is great at receiving merchandise and has amazing business computer skills. She knows how to answer a business phone properly and is a fantastic cashier. She loves babysitting, so she gets a lot of job offers. Tonight at Son 1's soccer game, another parent asked her how she likes homeschooling; she replied with an effusive, "I love it!"

Recently I re-enrolled Son 2 for next year. He asked, "Mom, I don't have to homeschool, do I?" He loves his Christian school situation. He has wonderful friends and has never had any teacher who wasn't outstanding. At this point in his life, he needs to be right where he is.

I am so thankful that I have the freedom to educate each child the way he or she needs to be educated. The bottom line for me is that I am in control of their education. I know my boys are getting a solid education at their Christian school. Son 1 is part of a terrific class and has friends who encourage him spiritually. Athletics has been an important key to his character development, and I will always praise God for the wonderful coaches he has had at his school. On the other hand, Daughter 2 wasn't thriving in that environment. Now I see her thriving and making plans for high school that include taking dual enrollment classes by the time she's a junior.

If you're looking at the education decision, bear in mind that each child is an individual. Take it one year at a time, one child at a time. Most of all, find an option that you and your children enjoy. Learning really can be fun! If it isn't, then maybe you need to find a new education option.

The ABC's of Babywearing

2009-03-20T22:38:00.001-05:00

My first daughter was about 6 weeks old the first time I tried to wear her. That was over 20 years ago! I had a Graco frontpack and snuggled all 8 pounds of her into it. Her little head sort of wobbled over to the side, but she was so happy to be next to me. She was a very high need baby, so wearing her allowed me to get some housework done. Unfortunately, the frontpack really hurt my back, so I didn’t use it very much. When she was 6 months old we discovered Dr. Sears and the world of comfortable babywearing. I promptly bought a ring sling (sling EZ) from Parenting Concepts. It felt so good to be able to wear her without killing my back. It would not be an understatement to say that the sling revolutionized the way I parented. Eventually I actually began to sell the Sling EZ because everywhere I went people asked me about it.

Over the next 12 years I went through several slings as we traveled around the country and to Costa Rica and Peru. In airports, on busses, in restaurants, at tourist destinations…everywhere we went, my sling would go with me – I felt lost without it! Whether I had a baby or a toddler, the sling was an indispensable accessory.

Today’s mothers have a dizzying array of options when it comes to babywearing. The Babywearer.com is a great resource for moms who are new to babywearing. You can choose from a pouch sling like the Peanut Shell, a wrap sling like the Mei Tai, a ring sling like the Maya Wrap, a two shoulder pouch sling like the Baby K’Tan, and the list goes on and on. At A Nurturing Moment we have chosen to carry both pouch slings and two shoulder slings. We are looking at other options because our moms have asked for more variety. Nevertheless, our most popular sling is the Baby K’Tan. This incredibly versatile carrier can hold a newborn snugly and securely. It can even hold twins because the pouches are each so deep. But it can also securely support a 42 pound toddler! They even have a position in which your baby can be worn on your back in your Baby K’Tan.

When Should You Buy Your Sling?

You will want to begin wearing your baby in the first weeks of his life because it will make him feel secure, and he will get used to being worn. However, I have found that it is much easier to fit a mom with the proper sling after her baby has been born. Often we’ll have new parents come in with their 4 or 5 day old baby to get fit for a sling. That really is the ideal! You can see how your baby does in different carriers and figure out which is most comfortable for you. Will you want to nurse in your carrier? If so, you want to make sure you find a carrier that makes nursing easy and discreet.

Getting Used to Slinging Your Baby

Once you get home with your carrier, practice with it in front of a mirror until you are comfortable getting baby in and out. As soon as you get baby positioned in the sling, begin moving with him in a sort of ‘Mommy Dance” where you gently sway back and forth. Being in the sling where he can feel your heartbeat again may remind him of the comfort of the womb! However, some babies do fuss at first, so moving gently with your baby in the carrier will help calm him. Practice nursing in it at home so that when you’re out, you can nurse without giving it a second thought. Go to the manufacturer’s website and watch any videos they may have posted there. Remember, the more you use your carrier, the better you’ll get at it, and the more you’ll enjoy it. Happy Babywearing!!

Atlantic Magazine Meets Scientific Research...and Comes Up Short!

2009-03-17T21:04:00.008-05:00

In the recently released Atlantic Monthly, writer Hannah Rosin, who is herself a breastfeeding mother, makes the case that the healthy benefits of breastfeeding are way overstated. In her article entitled "The Case Against Breastfeeding" she questions whether breastfeeding might be "this generation's vacuum cleaner -- an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down." Although she acknowledges that breastfed babies do have fewer gastrointestinal infections, she discounts much of the effect of IgA, an antibody in mother's milk which confers protection on her infant.

Rosin's epiphany began, interestingly enough, in her pediatrician's office where she discovered an article in a 2001 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association which dealt with the relationship between breastfeeding and childhood obesity. The researchers concluded that breastfeeding didn't make as much of a difference as family history did. This discovery led Rosin to embark on her own study of the medical literature about breastfeeding. Her conclusion: "Breast-feeding is probably, maybe, a little better; but it is far from the stampede of evidence that (Dr. William) Sears describes. More like tiny, unsure baby steps: two forward, two back, with much meandering and bumping into walls."

What about all that medical literature? Is it really that ambiguous? In a fascinating juxtapostion of timing, researchers at the Australian Center for Economic Research on Health just published a working paper in December, 2008, a version of which has been accepted for publication in the Journal of Human Lactation. This paper is entitled "'Voldemort' and Health Professional Knowledge of Breastfeeding - Do Journal Titles and Abstracts Accurately Convey Findings on Differential Health Outcomes for Formula Fed Infants?" According to authors Julie P Smith, Mark D Dunstone and Megan E Elliott-Rudder, "This study aimed to assess whether health professionals have access to unbiased information on the health implications of formula feeding through perusing the titles and abstracts of a sample of published scientific studies of health impacts of breastfeeding versus formula feeding."

For their review they chose the 78 articles used by the American Academy of Pediatrics in the formulation of their 2005 Policy Statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk. Each of these articles showed clear, measurable advantages for babies who were breastfed or received breastmilk. The concern was that many studies which demonstrate a clear difference in outcome between breastfed and formula-fed infants fail to cast formula feeding in a negative light in the title or abstract. In fact, the authors compare infant formula to Voldemort of Harry Potter fame as "He who must not be named." Their methodology was fairly simple, but quite comprehensive. Each of the 3 researchers reviewed all 78 articles and placed the title in one of these 3 categories:

Misleading - Title associates breastmilk or breastfeeding with an illness (ex: "Breastfeeding and Childhood Obesity")
Neutral or Silent - Title is neutral or silent on results (ex: "Brainstem Malnutrition in Premature Infants") or the title includes positive statement about breastmilk or breastfeeding but does not mention infant formula (ex: "Longer breastfeeding and protection against childhood leukemia and lymphomas")
Names Voldemort - Title includes a reference to artificial infant feeding or formula (ex: "Cow's milk exposure and type I diabetes mellitus")

They then divided the abstracts into the following 3 categories:

No mention of formula - No mention of formula or does not compare formula feeding to
breastfeeding except in describing method
Neutral/Breastfeeding Better than Formula - Breastfeeding better compared to formula feeding: This category comprises those studies that compared breastfeeding to formula feeding. Mostly conclusions couched in terms of breastfeeding advantages/or benefits over formula, not elevated risks from formula feeding.
Increased risk of ill health associated with formula feeding 'Names Voldemort' - Formula feeding associated with increased risk of ill health: This category comprises those abstracts that conveyed that formula fed infants had higher risks of ill health, or it was clear the formula feeding was not the norm or control

The researchers found that about 1/3 of the titles were misleading, associating breastfeeding with illness, and only 4-6% actually referred to infant formula. They also discovered that 72-74% of the abstracts made no mention of infant formula and "would not challenge a reader’s erroneous belief or assumption that artificial feeding carries no increased health risks for infants." Only 6-15% of the abstracts actually communicated an elevated risk to the infant with formula feeding.

Why is this significant? If the very researchers who are evaluating the beneficial effects of breastmilk - and by default the negative effects of formula - don't make that distinction clear in the abstract and/or title, how can a journalist like Ms. Rosen who conducts a serious review of the literature be expected to come to any conclusion but the one at which she arrived? The authors of the Australian study are quick to point out that mothers should NOT be put on a guilt trip for not breastfeeding. Rather, researchers must be more forthright in accurately stating their conclusions when titling their studies and writing abstracts. They do a real disservice to both medical professionals and mothers alike when they fail to highlight the increased risks to infants who receive formula.

Another glaring omission in the Atlantic Monthly article is the complete lack of any reference to the many proven health benefits the breastfeeding mother receives. To her credit, however, Ms. Rosen continues to nurse her third child. She concludes her article with the following statement which highlights yet another incredible benefit of breastfeeding: "Breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence. Right now, even part-time, it’s a strain. But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it."

Breastfeeding and Post-Partum Depression

2009-03-15T23:43:00.001-05:00

Becoming a mother is a joyful, incredible experience. However, for some mothers, the early days of motherhood are anything but blissful. Between 50 and 80% of all women have several days of "baby blues" during the first couple of weeks postpartum. Nevertheless, for at least 10% of those mothers, the "blues" become something much darker: a full-fledged deep, black hole of postpartum depression.

Breastfeeding May Help
Some research does indicate that when a mother breastfeeds her infant, the hormones oxytocin and prolactin provide a decreased neuroendocrine response to stressors. In other words, little things don't produce as much stress reaction. Furthermore, the higher levels of prolactin produced by breastfeeding also serve to enhance a mother's sense of well-being. Therefore, in addition to the many other benefits of breastfeeding, nursing mothers may also have a decreased incidence of severe postpartum depression.

Nursing Mothers Do Get Depressed
Nevertheless, breastfeeding mothers can and do become clinically depressed. Suzie was overjoyed at the birth of Adam. But she had a very hard time breastfeeding. Adam didn't latch on well, and Suzie grew increasingly frustrated and despondent. Soon she quit breastfeeding altogether and entered into a six-month long struggle with depression. Slowly she began to pull out of it, but she continued to struggle for several more months. Suzie missed many of the delightful firsts that thrill most mothers because she was dealing with a problem that was more than just psychological. In fact, postpartum depression has a physiological basis.
Suzie shouldn't have had to deal with six months of misery. Mothers who face PPD have many resources available to them.

The Medication Solution
Many drugs are available to treat depression. Some doctors, however, still tell breastfeeding mothers that they can't continue to breastfeed when they take certain types of medication. A common class of drugs known as SSRIs are frequently used to treat depression. Dr. Thomas Hale, Professor of Pediatrics at Texas Tech University School of Medicine, has found that Zoloft is an ideal choice for breastfeeding mothers. Another good option in Paxil. Prozac is a less favored option for the nursing mother.

The Psychotherapy Solution
Interpersonal psychotherapy can be another solution for major depression. A 2004 study showed that interpersonal psychotherapy can be an effective treatment for postpartum depression. The decision to follow this course of treatment needs to be made in careful collaboration with the mother's health care provider. Close follow-up is critical to insure that the she is making progress.

When a new mother can't stop crying or finds herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair, she needs to talk with her Ob/Gyn, family practitioner or nurse midwife immediately. If her six-week check up is still several weeks away, she needs to make an appointment as soon as possible. Untreated depression can have serious consequences for both mother and baby. No mother should have to suffer the devastating effects of postpartum depression.

Cue the music!

2009-03-14T09:48:00.003-05:00

The past couple of weeks have been hectic for my family. We had a family vacation in Nashville with my husband's parents, his brother, and his brother's family. Four kids 4 years old and under, with another on the way! That family is expanding rapidly. We got back on Monday, then I had to turn around immediately on Wednesday and leave for Savannah to be Matron of Honor at a friend's wedding.

That means I was gone for 5 days. By myself.

I haven't been anywhere by myself for five days in over 4.5 years. I'm sure all of you know just how much of a luxury it was to be able to travel in a car by myself, to stay in a hotel by myself, to eat by myself, to sleep by myself, to do all the necessary MoH functions by myself, to hang out with friends by myself.

I almost didn't know what to do with myself!

As nice as it was, though, there was a little bit of nervousness tucked into the back of my mind. My daughter has always been an independent little thing, so I had no qualms about her. My son, at just over 2.5 years old, is a somewhat different story. He's still pretty independent; he's not a clingy child. However, he's also still nursing.

So this trip was a jaunt into the unknown. I've been away from him for 2 nights before, but I've never been away from him for 4 nights. I don't own a breast pump and knew I would have no real time to pump while I was gone anyway, nor any real way to store any pumped breast milk. I had no idea if he would fully wean himself while I was gone, or if he'd go back to nursing when I got back. He's been fine on the couple of trips I've taken previously, but this was double the amount of time, and I had no real way of knowing how he'd hold up emotionally.

Despite these worries ruminating in the back of my head, I decided to take the perspective of "what will be, will be." After all, we're rapidly approaching 3 years of nursing. It's not like he's been deprived of my milk. It's not like it'd be an early weaning if he did wean. And it was entirely probable that he'd go back to nursing when I came back, and all would be well.

So I resolved not to think about it while I was gone. I think my son took the same attitude as well. Every time I called and his father asked if he wanted to talk to me, he'd laugh and say no. Apparently the first night I was gone, he asked for me and said he wanted to nurse, but he wasn't upset when Daddy told him that I was gone and he couldn't nurse. He was very happy while I was gone and didn't throw any tantrums or get upset. He went to sleep easily, woke up easily, and was just the happy-go-lucky little guy that I've come to know and love.

I got back early evening on Sunday and was exhausted. Late nights, early mornings, and an 8 hour drive were not sitting well with me. My son ran up to me and hugged me and started talking my ear off about everything he could think of, but he didn't ask to nurse. We wandered into the backyard so that he and my daughter could show me the greenhouse Daddy had built while I was gone. We played with the soccer balls. We discussed what they had done while I was gone.

An hour passed, and I started thinking, "Well, maybe he really has weaned." Then he asked me to pick him up. I hiked him up and snuggled him, then he looked down with a grin on his face and said, "I want to nurse!"

And so here we are, back where we started. We're nursing like we were previously. He seems quite content with how things are, and my absence seems to have had no ill effects. At one point when we first started nursing again, he incredulously said, "Mommy, all gone!", but he hasn't let that deter him from nursing. My supply seems to be back up to what it was.

And so we continue on in our nursing journey. Now that I know I can leave him and come back, I'm much more settled about extended nursing. I value my physical independence, and it's been a struggle off and on to keep nursing for long periods of time. Now, however, I'm pretty content with how things are, with the fact that it's our special bonding time but it's not something that he absolutely has to have. I don't feel the need to push weaning, like I did before (with frustrating results). I'm content to let him have more of a say in when this part of our lives is over.

Life is good.

You're the EXPERT!

2009-03-10T21:59:00.002-05:00

When it comes to your child, YOU are the real expert. You know your child better than anybody else, so always trust your instincts. Unfortunately, this message is sometimes obscured by authors who offer a "formula" for parenting. I remember the first time I read the Preparation for Parenthood material by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo about 15 years ago. In that early edition they made the outrageous statement (one of many) that mothers don't have instincts like animals do. They told mothers not to be misguided into thinking their maternal instincts would guide them in their parenting. On the opposite side of this debate, Dr. William Sears (my hero), urges mothers to trust their gut instincts when it comes to their babies. He wisely recognizes that a mother really is the expert on her child.

So what difference does this make in your parenting style? If you really believe that you are the expert on your child, you will be willing to do whatever it takes to get the answers you think your child needs. If that means changing pediatricians, you will do it. If that means changing schools, you'll do it. If that means pulling your child out of school to homeschool, you'll even do that.

Parenting is not a "one size fits all" easy formula. Each child is unique, and nobody understands that better than a mother! My fourteen year old daughter had been increasingly miserable in her Christian school. I love her school and think it's wonderful. But her class just wasn't a good fit for her. As I looked at the major personality changes I was seeing because she was so unhappy, I knew that we had to make a change. Homeschooling is the right solution for her. If I tried to pull my 10 year old out of that same Christian school, however, he would be distraught. He absolutely loves everything about his school!

If you are just starting the parenting journey, or you're expecting your first baby, the most important advice I can give you is to trust yourself! If God chose you to be the mother of this precious child, He will give you the wisdom you need to understand the nuances of your baby's personality. Never let anyone convince you otherwise. Remember, YOU'RE THE EXPERT!

Study Shows Breastfeeding Reduces SIDS Risk

2009-03-05T21:41:00.002-06:00

In the March 3, 2009, edition of Pediatrics, a groundbreaking study from Germany demonstrates a dramatic reduction of SIDS for breastfed babies. According to the authors of the study, "the aim of the German Study of Sudden Infant Death (GeSID) wasto identify risk factors for SIDS in a population where onlyfew infants sleep prone."

In this study, which was conducted between 1998 and 2001, the researchers examined the cases of 333 infants who died of SIDS and 998 control infants who were matched for age and region. In the data analysis, the following variables were controlled: maternalsmoking in pregnancy, maternal family status, maternal age atdelivery, socioeconomic status of the family, previous live births, birth weight of the infant,bed sharing in the last night, pillow in the infant's bed, additionalheating during the last sleep (a hot water bottle in the infant'sbed or the bed in front of a heater), position placed to sleep,and pacifier use during the last sleep.
The key variable factor was breastfeeding. The researchers examined exclusive breastfeeding as well as partial breastfeeding and exclusive formula feeding. They found that fewer than 50% of the SIDScases were breastfed at the age of 2 weeks, and 83% of the controlswere breastfed. Fewer than 40% of the SIDS cases were exclusively breastfed atthe age of 1 month compared with 72% of the controls. The researchers found that full or even partial breastfeeding provided a 50% reduction in the incidence of SIDS.

Why does breastfeeding protect infants from SIDS? The researchers offered two possible explanations.

The first is that breastmilk contains immunoglobulin G. The predominance of SIDS deaths occur between 2 and 5 months, the period in which the immunoglobulin G from the mother has worn off, but the infant isn't yet producing a sufficient quantity to be effective. Therefore, the breastfed infant has the advantage of still receiving this very important factor during a time when he is most vulnerable.
The second theory has to do with the sleep patterns of the breastfed infant versus the formula fed infant. Breastfed infants are more easily aroused.

The authors of this study recommend that the key protective role of breastfeeding be included in materials designed to educate parents about SIDS prevention. In both the United States and the United Kingdom, official SIDS prevention materials have not included the recommendation to breastfeed. Hopefully, the publication of this study in the prestigious journal, Pediatrics, will change that!

Don't be afraid to change positions!

2009-03-03T09:15:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, when I read breastfeeding tips and advice, I feel like it's all aimed at a more "normal-sized" woman. Hold the baby in close to nurse, make sure baby's body is flush with yours. Bah. That may work for a woman with a C cup, but that never worked for me. It took me a while to become comfortable enough with nursing to play around with positioning, but once I did, it made all the difference!

If you're a larger woman like me (with my first, I was an I cup; I'm currently an H-I, depending on band size), the angle that our nipples go into the baby's mouth is different than the angle a smaller woman's nipple goes into her baby's mouth. And angles can mean all the difference between having discomfort/pain and not. If you are larger and find that you're having pain but the baby seems to be latching on correctly, and there's no sign of the baby being tongue-tied, start playing around with positions! Make sure you have lots of pillows around to support your baby, and start shifting the baby around. It doesn't have to be a lot; even just a centimeter can change the angle enough to give you relief. Move the baby's body away from yours, or into yours, or change the plane that the baby is nursing on by adding pillows or taking away pillows from underneath baby.

Breastfeeding should be comfortable for both you and your baby. If the way that is normally described works for you, then great! However, if you're experiencing discomfort, and everything else seems normal, then don't be afraid to shift baby around a bit and try to find something else that works for you. You may feel like you're starting nursing gymnastics, but the end results (no pain!) are well worth it.

Life is full of "weanings"

2009-03-02T16:50:00.002-06:00

We had a terrific group of moms at A Nurturing Moment today for our Mommy Milk Meet-up. One mom was a little concerned because her one year old seemed to be loosing interest in day time nursings. This mom really hoped to nurse for a couple of years before allowing her baby to self-wean. Of course, bedtime nursings are a different story! Baby is still eager for that before bed cuddle time with Mom!
Usually a baby won't self-wean this early as long as Mom is still offering nursing opportunities. But every baby is different! One mom in the group explained how her very strong-willed little girl just decided she didn't want to have anything to do with nursing right around her first birthday. Mom kept trying, but baby wanted no part of it! This was more than just a nursing strike...it was an emerging toddler eager to get on with the next stage of life, much to her mom's dismay!

If we can view the weaning process as a continuum that begins with breastfeeding and lasts for the next 18 years or so, it might help lend perspective. Weaning, in this paradigm, doesn't simply refer to the separation of the baby from the breast. That is merely the first weaning. Other weanings will occur throughout childhood. Parents who co-sleep will eventually wean their child from their bed. Those who send their children to school will wean their children from the nest that is home. As children grow and become involved in scouts, sports, music lessons, ballet, horseback riding, church youth group and a myriad of other activities, the weaning process will continue.
Weaning, in its simplest form, is simply the process of your child becoming less dependent upon you. As moms, our most important job is to raise our children to become self-sufficient, confident, well-balanced adults. I suspect that most readers of this blog would agree that attachment parenting is the best way to accomplish this goal. After all, research clearly demonstrates that children who are attachment-parented demonstrate greater independence and self-assured confidence as they grow older. They also tend to be more responsive to their parents' correction and discipline.

Last night at 11:30 I had the bittersweet privilege of taking my 17 year old son to school where he and his classmates boarded a bus headed for Jacksonville, Florida, and their senior trip - a cruise to the Bahamas. As I write this, I know the ship has sailed. Although he texted me to let me know they were about to board, I know I won't hear from him again until next Saturday. The same tears that sprang to the eyes of the mom who thought her baby might be weaning are hiding just behind my eyelids now. But my son has grown up to be a remarkable young man, the product of attachment parenting. All too soon I'll take him to Tuscaloosa and leave him there...the weaning will continue! Aftre all, that's why I became a mom - to work myself out of a job!

Nursing in Public

2009-03-01T21:23:00.004-06:00

Many states have passed laws protecting the rights of breastfeeding mothers to feed their babies in any location they choose. It's great to know that whenever your baby gets hungry, you can feed him or her without worrying about negative consequences. Nevertheless, some people -either through ignorance or just because of plain meanness - still make it very uncomfortable for nursing mothers. You might be the kind of mom who doesn't care what other people think. If so, more power to you!

However, if you do worry about other people, or you want to be discreet when you nurse, that's fine, too. I've nursed in airports, restaurants, malls, Wal-Mart, church services, school functions....you name it, I've probably nursed somebody there! Most of the time nobody had any idea that I was nursing.

Moms today have so many options for discreet nursing. The easiest for many moms is a baby sling. You might like a ring sling like the Maya Wrap or Over-the Shoulder Baby Holder. One advantage to a ring sling is that once baby is done nursing and has fallen asleep, you can easily slip baby and sling off together. When I was nursing a decade ago, I used a ring sling made by Parenting Concepts. I loved everything about it! But today there are lots of other sling options. Pouch slings like the Peanut Shell, the Hotsling and the Dittany Baby sling are great, but you have to make sure they fit c0rrectly. Another carrier option is a tie-on wrap. This versatile carrier offers a wide variety of positions, but some styles work better for nursing than others. My new favorite carrier is a two-shoulder carrier called Baby K'Tan. It is the only carrier I've ever seen that actually works for twins! It makes nursing discreetly both comfortable and easy. TheBabyWearer.com is a great site for moms who are new to babywearing.

An alternative to the sling is a nursing cover. Two companies make very similar nursing covers, Bebe au lait and Peanut Shell. Both provide nice coverage and allow Mom to easily see her nursing baby. Another interesting cover is made by a mom working from her home. She calls it the Privacy Breastfeeding Coverup. It is larger than some of the other covers on the market, thus providing more complete coverage. Poncho or cape covers are another option. Baby Boo offers an attractive cape option. The big drawback is that it doesn't allow mom to see her nursing baby as easily. A new poncho option that we've just discovered is made by Moody Mamas. This roomy grey poncho allows you to see your baby as you nurse. It also doubles as a soft baby blanket. You'll find this great poncho at A Nurturing Moment. (It will available in the online store within the week).

Regardless of how you choose to nurse your baby in public, remember that you are making a statement every time you feed him or her. You are telling people that you want the very best for your baby. You are also saying that your baby's health and well-being is more important to you than public opinion. Finally, you're letting the whole world know what an incredible mom you are!

Yeasty Beasties…Dealing with Thrush

2009-02-25T09:13:00.003-06:00

When a mother has been nursing comfortably for several weeks or months, then suddenly begins to have sore nipples, she may have a yeast infection (candida albicans), also known as "thrush." The pain from thrush does not diminish after latch-on; in fact, sometimes it continues even after the baby has stopped nursing. The nipples may have a red or dark pink irritated appearance, or look very dry, and the mother may report that they are itchy or have a burning sensation. However, thrush might be present without any external symptoms at all. Another common symptom of thrush is shooting pain deep within the breast after or between feedings. Some mothers report it as pain in the area under their arms (the axilla); others describe a pain shooting through the chest wall toward the back. If you are having these symptoms, then you and your baby both need to be treated.

Babies can have thrush in their mouths, as well. It looks like little white patches inside their cheeks and lips or on the roof of the mouth. Some babies don't have any symptoms in their mouths, but have a red, angry looking diaper rash that is caused by candida. Whether the baby has any symptoms or not, however, both mother and infant must be treated to prevent the recurrence of thrush.

One of the oldest and quickest (and messiest) treatments is gentian violet. Dip a q-tip in the gentian violet and swab the inside of your baby's mouth right before you nurse. After you nurse, you will have gentian violet on your breasts as well. If the nipple and areola are not covered, use a q-tip to make sure they have sufficient gentian violet. Doing this once a day should resolve the problem within a week. Conversely, you can apply the gentian violet to your nipple and areola just prior to nursing, and baby will get the benefit as well. However, may mothers don't want the mess of gentian violet. Thankfully, there is another great option.

Dr. Jack Newman recommends an All Purpose Nipple Ointment which must be compounded by a pharmacist. If your physician is unfamiliar with this compound, you can send the link from Dr. Newman into his office. The ingredients include the following:

Mupiricin
Betamathasone
Micanazole (flucanazole may be substituted)

Occasionally the yeast infection will be intraductal which requires a systemic treatment. Flucanazol (Diflucan) is widely recognized as an effective treatment for systemic yeast. An initial dose of 200-400 grams followed by at least 2 – 3 weeks of 100 grams a day has been shown to provide long-term relief from candidiasis. The treatment must continue until you have been symptom free for 7 days.

No doubt about it, yeast is very frustrating. You will need to boil all your baby's pacifiers and nipples to make sure you kill all the yeast. Moms who take immediate action and stay on top of their yeasty beasties can beat this annoying problem!

Breastfeeding Nugget of the Week

2009-02-23T20:10:00.001-06:00

One of the crunchy practices that many granola (and not-so-granola) mommies do is breastfeed, and it's a cause that's near and dear to my heart. So instead of writing an introductory post (which would probably be helpful to y'all; I'll do one later, I promise!) I'm going to make my first post into something that I hope I'll do every week - a breastfeeding nugget of the week. Each week (or as close to that as possible) I'll write something to do with breastfeeding - a factoid, a tip, something that's happened in the news lately that pertains to breastfeeding. For many of our readers, some of this may be old hat; for those of you who aren't as well-versed in the ways of lactation, I hope this can be of some help.

Breast cancer is one of the biggest health concerns in the US and western world today, where rates of breast cancer are higher than in developing/undeveloped countries. Those rates are also on the rise in developing countries, probably for a whole host of reasons that are complex and not as simple as declining rates of breastfeeding. In the US, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer amongst women, other than non-melanoma skin cancer.

Now, cancer in general is on the rise amongst our population, and there is much that contributes to this. Longer life spans naturally lead to more problems. Technology is constantly changing, and while many of those changes are good, some of them are not. We put things into our bodies that were never meant to be there, whether through food or through medicines or through the very air we breathe. There are so many possibilities as to what has caused the surge in cancer rates that it is infeasible to point to one thing and say, "Do this to avoid XYZ-type of cancer."

So please forgive me as I seem to do just that. :P

A recent study analyzed the combined data of 47 studies done in 30 countries, giving the researchers information about 50,000 women with breast cancer and 97,000 women in a control group without breast cancer. Their conclusions showed that of those women who had given birth, every year of breastfeeding decreased their risk of developing breast cancer by 4.3%. These percentages held true across the board, whether the woman was young or old, pre- or postmenopausal, whether she lives in a developed country or a developing country (1). The take-away from this is obvious - that the incidences of breast cancer in developed countries are higher because we do not nurse our children, particularly for extended periods of time.

I know, I know; I can hear some of you in the back saying, "Four point three percent? That's, like, barely worth noticing." And you might be right, if it weren't for the fact that that 4.3% is compounding per year that you breastfeed. That can certainly add up to quickly!

It might be that breasts are best protected against cancerous cells developing when they are used in the way that they were designed to be used, with the breast tissue fully developed from breastfeeding (2). It might be that the lack of periods associated with exclusive and extended breastfeeding and the resulting lack of hormonal fluctuations on a regular basis may leave the breasts (and ovaries and uterus) less vulnerable to cancer (3). It might be (and probably is) a combination of both.

But the big statistic worth noticing comes from a 1994 study that shows that women who were breastfeed themselves had at least a 26% less chance of developing breast cancer, and in some cases as much as 31% (4).

That is huge. Absolutely huge. Can you imagine how much lower our rates of breast cancer would be if every single woman breastfed her daughters for one year each? They'd have the protection of themselves being breastfed by their mothers, and then they'd have the additional protecting of actually breastfeeding their own children. The number of lives saved, the number of resources that could shift to focusing on other needs, the amount of money and time and energy saved in medical care...it's staggering to think about.

So yes. We all know that there are many, many reasons to breastfeed, or at least to attempt to breastfeed. But this? We, the women of the world, the mothers of the world, have the ability to directly affect something that is a huge health concern and directly affects mortality rates. We have the ability to change the face of the medical field as we know it, even if we never receive credit for it. This is powerful, and awe-inspiring, and breathtaking.

Let's take this chance, ladies, and change our world!

1) Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in Breast Cancer. "Breast cancer and breastfeeding: collaborative reanalysis of individual data from 47 epidemiological studies in 30 countries, including 50,302 women with breast cancer and 96,973 women without the disease." Lancet
2) The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 7th Ed. pg 383.
3) The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 7th Ed. pg 379.
4) Freudenheim, J. et al. "Exposure to breast milk infancy and the risk of breast cancer." Epidemiology 1994; 5 (3): 324-331. 2002; 360: 187-195.

What is a Conservative Granola Mommy?

2009-02-21T19:56:00.006-06:00

I first heard the word "crunchy" used to describe moms who practice attachment parenting when I was at a River City Slingers meeting. This amazing group of sling-wearing mamas was meeting in Decatur, AL, to encourage each other and share the latest in baby slings, cloth diapers, and other attachment parenting tools. That day I discovered that I was a crunchy mom. My oldest was 18 and in college before I realized there was a name for moms like me!

So just what is it that makes a mom crunchy? I think it is an overarching mindset of putting her baby's best interests ahead of herself during this season of life. Attachment parenting as described by noted pediatrician Dr. William Sears is focused on meeting your baby's needs in order to help him learn trust from the earliest moments of his life. When you immediately feed your hungry baby, or pick up your crying baby, or soothe your fussy baby, you are teaching him that his attempts at communication work. Typical crunchy mom behaviors may include extended breastfeeding (nursing past the first birthday), co-sleeping and/or parenting your baby to sleep, and baby wearing. Other crunchy behaviors may include making your own baby food, growing your own food or buying organically grown food, cloth diapering, choosing to selectively vaccinate (or not vaccinate), and home schooling. Not all crunchy moms do all of these things, but if your parenting includes two or three of the practices listed above, you can safely say you're crunchy!

The phrase "conservative granola" has been around for a couple of years. In 2007 a site by that name was established. Unfortunately, it appears that hasn't been much recent activity there. However, the phrase works well to describe mothers who practice attachment parenting principles based on a Biblical understanding of God's design for mothers and babies. A mother may be Protestant, Catholic, Jewish or espouse another religious view, but if she is parenting based on her God-given intuition, she is a Conservative Granola Mommy!

All parents are welcome here. I am unashamed in my Christian faith, and that will certainly be evident in some of my blogs. Nevertheless, any mother, regardless of her beliefs, who wants to learn more about parenting her baby intuitively will be able to glean some seeds of wisdom here. As the owner of A Nurturing Moment Maternity and Nursing Boutique, I would love to learn about any products that help you parent better. We welcome your comments and input and look forward to getting to know you!